This has been an issue for years in the black community; brothas pretending to be something they’re not. I don’t have a problem with you choosing how you want to live your life, but why lie about it? You’re not only lying to yourself your lying to the women that you have “relationships” with, and jeopardizing lives in the process. I know its hard being gay, hell its worse being an openly gay black man, but damn dude why the hell you gotta deceive people and shit. My gay-dar isn’t always sharp, but hell I did know at a young age that Tevin Campbell had a little sugar in his apple pie. I’ve came up with signs that your man may be a male booty hole lover.

1. His Gestures~You know a man when you see one. I always found it very RuPaul when a man displays womanly gestures. You know what I mean…a man that has a little sway in his step. Some men do have big hips, but you know a man that’s walking like he’s trying to out walk his girl or something. Or the men that wrists always seem to be hiked up to their chests. My alarm goes off on those dudes.

2.Public Appearances~ If you’re out with your man and he points out how good another dude looks in his slacks, he might be gay. But then again, he could honestly be checking out the slacks and not the junk the next dude is packing.

3. In the Bedroom~ We all try new shit in the bedroom, that’s what keeps the relationship exciting. Under no circumstances should a man ask you to stick anything in his ass. I don’t care what your relationship is with him. I know some people might not think that’s gay because he’s with a woman, but I think it is. Doing that shit to him is not only gay, but he asking you to do it is even gayer. If you’re the one that asks him if you can stick something in there and he says yes at any point, HE IS GAY. I don’t care if he takes a week to think about it, that is the gayest shit I ever heard in all my years of hearing gay shit.

4. You ain’t heard it from him~ If you’re man loves to sit down and tell you all the neighborhood gossip, his sexuality might be in question. He can tell you that Toya done had her 4th abortion, or Pookie creeping with his girl’s auntie. That nigga needs a bitch check. I don’t know about you, but a gossiping man is not only dangerous he’s prone to get his ass shot for talking folks business.

5. No Homo~ I have a really big problem with men that feel they have to prove their sexuality every chance they get. I usually notice men that are overly homophobic are the first ones to swallow a next man’s nut. *My personal opinion* Phrases like No Homo, and That’s The Business, or You Did That are very suspect to me. Please oh please stop it. I may be reading too much into it, but that sounds very other side of the fence. I’m just sayin….

~Bonus~~
Just because Ramon at the job is gay, doesn’t mean he wants to hook up with you. If you constantly insist that he wants your hot body, it might be the other way around. You might be the one checking him out and you’re wishing on a fallen star that he feels the same.

When a man is on the DL it’s a simple case of having your cake and eating it to. You don’t want to be a part of the community, but you want to partake in the festivities. This kind of shit pisses me off. These poor excuses for men are having families and getting married and shit, then leaving their wives at home to hook up with Chauncey. Be confident in who you are, and stop screwing over everyone else in the process. Ladies, I hope I have shed some much needed light on this situation plaguing our community. Everyone be safe, and wrap it up.

I love being in relationships, but when I actually get involved with someone it only lasts a short time. I’ve affectionately named myself “The Relationship Killer”. I’m not poking fun at my misfortune, but the shit has started to become re-dam-diculous. Even though I give other people advice, I can’t seem to get my shit cracking the way it should.

If I told you how many relationships I’ve actually been in, you would look at me like I’m a damn fool. Even though I’ve had a lot of romantic connections, I’ve only been in love 3 times. I don’t know if it’s the men I choose, or the fools that are attracted to me but I have been in love with the same type of negros. They have three things in common …1. They were fine…I mean so fine that if you looked at them your panties will instantly appear in their back pockets. 2. Manly…I love a man that is all man. No simple, crying, whimpering idiot. My personality is too hard to handle a man that cries at Hallmark commercials. 3. Attract too many women…This was my major issue. I dealt with men that were so accustomed to being the center of attention to so many women; they couldn’t get into giving their attention to one chick. This has been the pattern I have followed and I don’t know why.

I can’t blame it all on the men I date, because I got some fucked up issues too. Hell my issues stemmed from the men I dated, so fuck yea I’m blaming their asses. The thing is I know that I have these issues, and I’ve been trying to work on them. A lot of chicks I know try to deny that they’re the ones with the problem, then cry and bitch when they end up alone. Some people say the reason I get into the shit I get into is because I act too much like a man. I was highly offended because I thought they were calling me mannish or something. They just simply said because I am so strong minded, it scares men away. So what the hell am I suppose to do, pretend I don’t have a mind and my own opinions just to keep a man? Or should I play the helpless damsel in distress so I can boost his ego and make him feel like he’s saving me from myself? Hell Naw!!!!! I do admit that I could use some toning down, but I will never down play my intelligence to make a man feel comfortable. I’ve been in this thing too long, to just sit back and let some bitch ass try to control me.

I might need to attend relationship rehab, if there is such a place. I can say this; every and I do mean every ex boyfriend I have ever had has tried to rekindle something with me. And you know my motto; if I am turned off I can’t be turned back on. My friends always ask me the same thing “Why don’t you give it another chance”. Well I have this thing about looking stupid, so I refrain from doing stupid shit. I don’t go backwards….I move forward. So I’m single again, and refusing to get involved with anyone in any kind of way. Yes when I say any kind of way, I mean what you think I mean. No dick pleasing for me, until I am in a suitable relationship. You’re probably thinking “Damn, this bitch done gone bonkers”, no I’m all here sitting at the computer with an R-Kelly Zorro mask on. Lol, I just think at this stage in my life I need more than just what I’ve been getting. Hell I deserve it. So this is me; the celibate relationship/sex blogger that refuses to have sex or relationships. Damn that shit does sound crazy. I hope you guys still love me through my struggle. *Throwing the black power sign*

I know this is kind of deep for a Friday, but this shit has been on my mind and I needed to share it.

Love ya tender,
V.I Chick

If you didn’t know, the song “Fancy” by The Dream is still my shit. Not only is the melody on point, but what he’s talking about a woman who seeks the finer things in life. Now you can get caught up in the melody, but dude is actually talking about a gold digger. Well, I don’t like to say gold digger…she is a lover of all things high end. Cars, Men, Designer shit….everything. I don’t knock a gold digger’s hustle, she’s just doing something to put her in a better position; but I think there is a point when you have to realize that you’re fancy.

I have a friend that loves the finer things in life. Her problem is she likes other people’s finer things in life. She is more concerned on what you have and what you can do for her, than getting to know the person. Even though she’s my girl I hate talking to this bitch. Every time she describes a man, she describes him by his assets. No matter what she says about him, she has to throw his money in the conversation. At the end of the convo she says this line “I’m not a gold digger though”. Bitch if you have to describe a motherfucker by the price of his crib, your ass is a money hungry hoe. I wouldn’t mind if she had money in the bank and a mink on her back. Her ass is broke with 2 kids and an old 1994 Camry. How you gonna look at other folks, when your ass can’t even come into your own?

Like I say, work your hustle boo boo, but don’t be in denial about it. So what you like fucking men with paper, shit that’s your business. Hell, at least you reaping some type of benefit from the whole thing. Women give away their pussy and get a damn $2.99 double cheeseburger meal out of the deal. You’re trying to creep on the come up, and get made when people characterize you as a digger of gold. Just a FYI….as much as my friend talks about these men I don’t know ANY of their names. I’m not sure if she doesn’t want me to know their names, or she doesn’t realize she doesn’t mention them. Either way, she needs to get out of that shit. Money and material shit doesn’t last forever. You’re looking at someone for all the wrong reasons. Sure having money is good, but that shit can’t hold you at night, or tell you I love you. She’s gonna end up living off of some man and be miserable, because she choose to be with an ass wipe with money.