*Snapping Fingers* Welcome to the Diary of A Mad Guest Blogger. This is a segment where we feature the bloggers that got thangs to say. I want you to give a special hand to The Mystery Lady.
I had an epiphany the other day. Good dick and relationships DON’T mix.
Yes you read correct and as a matter of fact let me clarify:
Good dick CANNOT be in a successful relationship.
Let me tell you why.
1. Good Dick Has Too Many Choices To Be In a Successful Monogamous Relationships
A good dick report spreads faster than Kat Stacks legs at Rock the Bells. Once you give one girl the d and its mindblowing she’s gonna tell her homegirl, she’s gonna tell the whole world. And best believe good dick is so hard to come by that women will practically throw men the pussy. It’s only going to be but so long one man can fight off thrown pussy before he succumbs.
2. Good Dick Makes It Okay For Men To Cheat…yes I said it…
Men with good dick know that they can act up. The good dick man is more likely than not going to say something out of pocket, do something to piss you off, or cheat and be sloppy with it. The catch is that you will miss the good dick and an “I’m sorry” and a DMX in Belly style dick down will make you forget whatever it is that made you mad in the first place. Why?
Because GOOD DICK CAUSES BAD DECISION MAKING. (Please refer to my previous post on all the types of bad decisions good dick will cause you to make.)
3. Good Dick Can Only Settle Down Once It Tires Out
I have several male friends that had stellar dick reports that are now married. Until they fucked every girl under the sun and just got too old for cirque de sole style sex in the car, wore out from froggy style in the kitchen, and back shots in the shower…they weren’t ready to really settle down. Seriously. I know this for a scientific fact. We all know that guy who after a running through every chick in the city suddenly decided to get married. Why?
Because GOOD DICK KNOWS WHEN ITS RUN IS COMING TO AN END.
So rather than leave the game with a BDR they would rather gracefully bow out. I’m not saying they aren’t capable of having a great performance every once in a while on special occasion but best believe if you marry that guy who had the great dick report in college best believe it won’t be as good as it was back in the day. I’m just sayin..
Ladies, I know this may be hard to cope with but I’m just trying to save you shawty.
Men, am I lying?