*Snapping Fingers* Welcome to the Diary of A Mad Guest Blogger. This is a segment where we feature the bloggers that got thangs to say. I want you to give a special hand to The Mystery Lady.

I had an epiphany the other day. Good dick and relationships DON’T mix.

Yes you read correct and as a matter of fact let me clarify:

Good dick CANNOT be in a successful relationship.

Let me tell you why.

1. Good Dick Has Too Many Choices To Be In a Successful Monogamous Relationships

A good dick report spreads faster than Kat Stacks legs at Rock the Bells.  Once you give one girl the d and its mindblowing she’s gonna tell her homegirl, she’s gonna tell the whole world.  And best believe good dick is so hard to come by that women will practically throw men the pussy. It’s only going to be but so long one man can fight off thrown pussy before he succumbs.

2. Good Dick Makes It Okay For Men To Cheat…yes I said it…

Men with good dick know that they can act up.  The good dick man is more likely than not going to say something out of pocket, do something to piss you off, or cheat and be sloppy with it.  The catch is that you will miss the good dick and an “I’m sorry” and a DMX in Belly style dick down will make you forget whatever it is that made you mad in the first place.  Why?

Because GOOD DICK CAUSES BAD DECISION MAKING.  (Please refer to my previous post on all the types of bad decisions good dick will cause you to make.)

3. Good Dick Can Only Settle Down Once It Tires Out

I  have several male friends that had stellar dick reports that are now married. Until they fucked every girl under the sun and just got too old for cirque de sole style sex in the car, wore out from froggy style in the kitchen, and back shots in the shower…they weren’t ready to really settle down.  Seriously. I know this for a scientific fact.  We all know that guy who after a running through every chick in the city suddenly decided to get married. Why?


So rather than leave the game  with a BDR they would rather gracefully bow out.  I’m not saying they aren’t capable of having a great performance every once in a while on special occasion but best believe if you marry that guy who had the great dick report in college best believe it won’t be as good as it was back in the day. I’m just sayin..

Ladies, I know this may be hard to cope with but I’m just trying to save you shawty.

Men, am I lying?

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  1. Well would like to disagree with this.. I have an amazing man and that is some great dick.. yes we broke all the rules of relationships and we were fuck buddies for 2 years before being together but now moved in and I never doubted him once about cheating and there have been no signs.

  2. Lol this article is on point, if he hasn’t cheated it’s bcuz he’s tired or finally mature enough to become the man he is supposed to b.

  3. I think u hit the nail on the head. A lot if guys that are “banging” will get free advertising 4 evah!! But when they’ve ran their course, which is normally around 40ish, they’ll shut it down. Cuz like you said, they don’t want to get bad report when they’re not able to slang the meat like they used too!

  4. Pingback: Rethinking Relationships: Is Monogamy Natural or Cultural? « From Ashy to Classy

  5. This is a very true and accurate article.i have been with many women who have called me there best in bed including my current gf.she promotes my dick to her friends like a fight promoter promotes his boxer, everyone know about my dick and that makes every other girl want to try me not only that I have the upper hand in the relationship.its my way or no dick for u, not the other way around because she knows I can get pussy at anytime and it doesnt have to be hers since my dick is now known in her circle.

  6. Some of what you say is true but not all “MEN” throw in the towel before the BDR(bad dick report). Some of us choose to settle down because we get tired of the “girls” not women thinking they got the BOMB BOOTY and have the nastiest attitudes you can imagine. Thats why some of us pack it up and bounce! Ladies, you have to stop sending mixed signals, to you it may seen clear but to men its like trying to put together a jigsaw buzzle with 10,000 pieces(don’t know where to start) It is possible to be straight forward without being rude, brash or blunt. Unless you’re dealing with a HOODRAT!!! and you know when you are… Anywho Im in my mid 40’s and the Dick works just fine. I chose to settle down because I loved my wife and was ready to start a family( not all over town either) One true statement about Dick, its like a Superb bottle of wine.. you don’t need a whole lot of glasses to get your drink on.. just one good one..

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