Awwwwww isn’t new found love grand? You cuddle every chance you get, have those long never ending conversations on the phone at night and you have sex more than you eat. New beginnings are amazing!! Even though we get all open and happy there are still a few things a woman will not do in front of her man. She actually doesn’t want him to head for the hills if she introduces her true self to him. I remember an episode of A Different World right after Whitley and Dwayne got married. Whit woke up 5 mins before Dwayne every morning and washed her face, combed her hair and brushed her teeth. Then she would run back into the back just before the alarm rang and pretended to be asleep. Whitley did this so when he woke up every morning and looked at her he saw how beautiful she was when she slept. There are just some things that women don’t want their men to see or even know they do. Here are a list of the top 6 things women try not do in new relationships.
1. Use the bathroom~ Yea I said take a shit, because let’s face it people. Women shit too. Now I may be a little raw by saying take a shit, but you know I don’t do the whole sugar coating. Women will not under no circumstances use the bathroom in front of their men. Hell I know women that live with their men and still act like they never heard of dumping a load. Do you know when they take that shit they been holding in all day? When you go off to work. That’s when she can let all that mess out because she been backed up for days.
2. Break wind~ You and your boo is watching a movie on the couch and you feel a small bubble in the stomach. You feel it traveling and making it’s way toy your butt. You know farts are unpredictable, so you don’t know what to do. You’re afraid it will come out loud, so you ease it out. You just pray the shit doesn’t stink up the room. You let a little out and hold the rest in..then you let a little more out. You’re now scared and uncomfortable because you can now smell it and you hope to GOD he isn’t smelling it either. You’re afraid to get up because if you do the smell will be more pronounced. You try to dig your butt in his couch some more so the smell can drift off between the cushions. Little do you know he smelt that shit and has been holding his breath the whole time.
3. Brush Your Teeth~ Some women view anything in the bathroom as private and will not brush their teeth in front of their guy. I guess it’s the fact that the toothpaste is all over the place and you have to spit it out. You know guys don’t like when women spit anything out.
4. Get Familiar with yourself~ Some women WILL NOT masturbate in front of their guys. Now I find this to be straight bullshit because a lot of men would love to witness their woman getting freaky with herself. There are just some women out there that get a little embarrassed when it comes to self pleasure. I say let his ass watch…hell if he wants to masturbate while I watch I have no problems with that. I like to see you man handle yourself. LOL
5. Take off their makeup~ There are a lot of women that are so afraid to take off all that shit they got on their faces, because they know without it they look like Mike Tyson on day 3 of his period. Women will go to sleep with their makeup on and wake up the next morning with their face imprinted on the pillow case.
6. Eat Messy~ Women refrain from eating certain foods when they’re with their men. Ribs are a no no. There is no way in hell someone can eat that shit looking cute. Anything that makes you look ugly when you chew is not on the list. That’s why you see women eating a lot of salads and shit. That’s the safe food. Her ass ain’t on no diet. That bitch is hungry and trying to be as cute as possible while her stomach is growling for a slab of bbq ribs.
It’s all about do you feel comfortable enough in the beginning…and the answer is no. In new relationships or new anything the comfort level is still low. Sure you love being around the person, but you’re not ready to show your true selves because you think it might scare him away. Ladies, if you can’t be ugly and blow fart bubbles out your ass in front your man who can you do it with?