Lately, I’ve been wanting to just run down the street buck nekkid and just scream out loud into the world. Have you ever felt like you’re trapped in a box and can’t find a way out? You know there is light at the end of the tunnel, but you can’t find the f*cking tunnel? That’s how I’ve been feeling. I feel like I’m not working at my full potential, but at the same time not sure of how to work at my full potential. This is my dilemma.
I’ve gotten a lot farther in life than a lot of people I know. I do for myself while others have no choice but to rely on others. When I know what I want, I go after it. Although, right now in my life I feel stuck. I’m stuck in a job that isn’t taking me anywhere. Again, don’t get me wrong I am grateful to have a job but this isn’t want I want to do with the rest of my life. I’ve hit the 30 mark and I feel like I’ve officially given up. I feel like if I was suppose to be where I needed to be I would have been there by now. I say maybe it’s not my time yet. Or maybe I am where I am suppose to be, I just don’t want to accept it. It’s like I have so many resources but don’t know exactly how to use it. At times I think about giving up on this writing thing. Not because I don’t absolutely LOVE it. Sometimes I just don’t see it advancing anywhere, but right where it’s at. It’s like I have all this knowledge, but I can’t use it completely.
Have you ever tried to explain how you feel to others and they just don’t get it? I talk to you guys because I feel like no one else can understand where I’m coming from.  The wheels in my head are in constant rotation even when I’m sleeping I’m thinking on ways to change my life. I don’t want to make people think I don’t love my life. I’ve come this far by his grace alone. I cherish what I’m blessed to have. I just feel that GOD has a bigger purpose for me, but getting there is draining the life out of me. I feel older than I actually am!
This is just my rant for the day. Some of you might bypass this blog because it isn’t about sex or cheating ass men. I give the people what they want to read, but sometimes I wanna write things just for me. I always keep it 100% on my blog and in real-life…so I am unhappy with things in my professional life and a few in my personal. I know things will eventually change, but right now I’m just sitting here.
Iselah
Comment made on June 10, 2010 @ 8:20 pm
Wow! I feel like you just ripped a page out of my book and posted it on this blog. V.I. I am right there with you. I've been feeling like that for a hot minute now, a year and a half to be exact. Finally, I decided that since things weren't happening fast enough with all the limitations I put in place (location, distance, industry, etc.), I had to switch it up a bit. What I did was ignored all perceived constraints. I decided to expand my opportunities (all of them) by being completely open and really psyching myself out to be fearless. Anywhere, anyplace I was down, as long as it was a better move for me. After all, great reward comes with great risk. So what, if I have to drive a little further, possibly move, work in a different industry. It certainly isn't impossible, so why view it as a roadblock. That is now my approach and though nothing has officially popped off yet, I feel like the world of opportunity is my oyster and I feel deeply that the advancement I am so ready for is just around the corner.
Iselah
Comment made on June 10, 2010 @ 8:27 pm
…continued. My advice to you is to say to yourself, the sky is the limit and really mean it. Analyze all of your perceived obstacles and if it really doesn't have to be roadblock, just view it as a refreshing change. Too many times we set limitations for ourselves, without even realizing it. You have the skills and knowledge needed to be successful and that can take you anywhere, to any level and in any industry. BTW I absolutely love your career blogs. We are not only longing for your juicy hot relationship blogs so keep these readings coming for the other ever tracking where we are in life, career, education readers like myself. See you at the top! :=
vichick
Comment made on June 10, 2010 @ 8:54 pm
Girl thank you…for your comment. I do need to get out there and make this happen for myself. I appreciate you taking the time to comment on this particular blog. If it ain't about sex or relationships no one cares to comment.
I will do more regarding career and life. Although, I try to stay focused on what I intended this blog to do I forgot my main objective was to focus on my life. My career is a big part of who I am and I need to make that known.
PA_Worldwide
Comment made on June 11, 2010 @ 12:39 am
I feel where you are coming from, but it take it from me, it is what it is. All you can do is wait for the right opportunity and pounce. Sometimes we have to just think outside the box. I have a masters degree and im driving trucks for a living. I get myself down especially when im having a bad day. Its a jacked up economy, people are working for less money, and some folks dont even have a job. I would like to start my own business but when you dont have the capital and student loans up the wazzoo, you are kinda limited. In the company i work for, i can move up but basically i would have to relocate to do that. I have a 13 year old daughter and im not sure if I want to move her right now. One thing i do know is that i dont want to make any decision when im tired. And i have been very tired lately. Im just trying to ride this thing out for now. I dont want to leave Houston but I may have to if i want to use my degrees. IDK Even when you try to make it happen, you have to have patience. I feel ya VI. Keep your head up lady, you will be alright.
Missy
Comment made on June 17, 2010 @ 10:26 pm
Patience is the key. I'm learning that only now. In some situations you have to take a leap of faith and go get what you want, but when you reach to the point where you're at now, you need to be still and wait for an opportunity. PA is right you don't want to make a decision when you're in these moods, because it will be hasty and probably not right. Timing is everything.
Missy
Comment made on July 13, 2010 @ 11:31 pm
Girl this is what have been boggling me for months, which have me sorta out of the loop. People tell me to be patient and continue to keep the faith but I am feeling I have been stiffling for a little too long. But u know what I have gotten out of my deep meditation, we are so accustom to rapid results because of the world rapidly changing and we were born in a modern era, I really think technology has really spoiled us. I have came to realize life has been in existence before our time and most of the things were not in existence, which proves to me that not because the world and it’s people are moving at a rapid rate means God and our lives must do the same. I found that our elders had way more patience because of their faith in God which was never moved or doubted, whereas they appreciated everything and said it could have been worse, they savior their moments, we don’t, we are so in a rush. But the most important thing I have learnt, if u don’t know, seek God himself and he will definitely direct u to the keep people that will get u to where u want to be, remember, if we have received all of our hearts desires, we would have never valued life and cherish what we have. It is always when u least expect it. I’m still working on me, so I’m quite sure u are too, so sister to sister, Let God and the course of life play their role because they see that u are making an effort and eventually ur rewards will be in abundance, where they we coming through each one of ur body cavities. One love!