I might be stuck in the dark ages, but I always lived by the motto “I’m the girl”. Meaning I am the woman so I should not have to approach a guy. He must somehow sense that I want to talk to him and approach me even if there is a threat of rejection. Although that might sound sensible in my head most people think I am crazy when I say it out loud. I just didn’t feel the need to make a move, but there was an instance I had to suck it up and do what I had to do.
Back in the day I never approached a guy first. I would have a crush on you for 18 years, but if you never approached me you wouldn’t know it. I am shy!!! Yes contrary to popular belief I am shy like shit. I am not really all up on expressing my feelings and all that female shit. So, if I was digging on someone that’s about all I was doing. I thought this was the way to go because why the hell should I approach if I am the chick in this here scenario? So I went about my days wishing and praying that the guy I liked said something to me. It always worked…even though the majority of the time they approached me years later. I can honestly say almost every guy that I had a crush on…I mean a serious crush on has someone how approached me later on in life. So I just decided there was no need for me to step to someone because 5 years from now he would holla at me anyway.
Ok, I got a story to tell. So in high school there was this guy that caught my eye. I didn’t want to hook up with him or anything, it was just something about him that made me notice him when he walked in a room. He was a quiet guy…but he was one of the popular kids in school. It was like he was the jock and I was the invisible dork. Well I wasn’t really a dork, I was just quiet type. Anywho, throughout high school every time I saw him I stared, but would not approach him at all. Plus, he had a girlfriend and I had a boyfriend so me being the faithful *bwahahahaha* um so me being the faithful girlfriend I didn’t make my crushing known. So I went through high school not saying a damn thing. Fast forward to about 5 years later. I’m living in Atlanta and one day I see him. I see the guy I had a small thing for back in high school. Of course he says nothing to me and I go another 3-4 years never letting him know that I dug him back in the day.
So at this point I am getting a little frustrated because by now this shit was suppose to already take effect. He was suppose to approach me a long time ago, but for some odd reason he never looks my way. I done filled out, my boobs are now glorious but hmmmm still nothing. So I even asked my homegirl that went to school with us to drop a few hints to him that I was checking him out, and either he didn’t catch it or she didn’t throw it but still NOTHING!!!! Ok let me get this blog going cause I think half of ya’ll stopped reading. I decided that enough is enough and took matters into my own hands. Ironcially enough I was on facbeook last year and noticed that one of my friends added who….my crush. Soooo….I decided to add him as well. Now I got away with it because we are from the same place and got a lot of friends in common.
One day he was online and decided to shoot him an IM…and he answered. I threw in there that we were both friends with my homegirl who I asked to hook me up, so he was a little more open to speak to me. Although the conversation wasn’t long it just allowed me to make myself known. So we talked probably like 2 other times on facebook and I was so hoping he would ask me out but he didn’t. One night I was online and he logged on…as always I made the first effort to speak to him and in the middle of our conversation he told me he was moving back to St.Thomas the following week. I thought I was gonna piss on myself because here I am trying to hook up with him and his ass leaving Atlanta in a damn week. So after the discouraging conversation I decided that all hope was lost, then a thought hit me…why don’t I ask him out before he leaves. Now because I don’t ask motherf*ckers to do a damn thing I needed someone to talk me into actually asking him. I talked to a few people that thought it would be cool to ask someone out for a change. I sucked it up and asked him out and he said yes. That was the best 8 hours I ever spent out with a man and by the end of the date I knew he was the one. That night was when everything started between us and we haven’t looked back since.
I told this story because sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone. You might be shy or even afraid to approach someone, but you never know what can actually come of it. We’re all afraid of rejection, but wouldn’t you rather know than just guess? I made it a habit of not stepping forward. I always waited for the guy to approach even if it took years. This was one I would have let go but everything I tried didn’t work so I had to do what was out of my norm. Who would have thought I would have met the person that would be my best friend, lover and soulmate. Anything can happen if you allow yourself to go outside the box. I love this man to no end, and even if things don’t work out in my relationship I can honestly say that I wouldn’t change this feeling for anything in the world.
Holla at me: Have you ever bitten the bullet and approached first? If yes, what was the result?
