Ask V.I.~The Pimp In Him Ain’t Dead

Hi..

I really need your advice on my situation..I was recently reunited with my ex whom I haven’t seen or heard from in 7yrs. We were young when we were together and we did a lot of grown woman and man things that produced a child that was miscarried I figure he  left me because I was pregnant, but that was not the case. He got locked up and had been trying to find me all theses years. Now that we have reunited its like we are back to where we were, except the fact that he had girlfriends or chicks that he engaged in acts with within the time we did get back together. He claims his love for me all the time but im not sure if he’s in love with me. Its only been a year since he been out and I’ve been there from the beginning til this day holding him down, but he’s admitted to stepping out on me and now im not trusting him.

He just made a commitment to me in May to let go of contact wit his ex and so far so good.Yet we only talk in the AM and its like he pushes me off da phone at night. I added him to my line and after its goodnight with me he’s talking and texting more people til 4 and 5 in the morning. He claims its his homegirls and I kinda believe him, but then again he a man.I asked him to be more open with me and understanding to my needs and wants, but that only leads to an argument and I’m not on that. My question is am I being to hard on him to the point where im not giving us time to grow on each other as older adults or should I just take it one day at a time?

Trust Him Not

Dear THN,

In my opinion this seems to be a childhood relationships, that seems to be forcing it’s way into adulthood. It seems like what you had back then should have stayed back then. From what you’ve briefly described it seems like he’s still making up for his time behind bars, and has you waiting in the wings in the process. For him to have to actually “commit” to you that he will no longer talk to his ex means that this has been a serious issue in your relationship. Then he admits being involved with other woman so of course you don’t trust him. The second a woman finds out that her man has been unfaithful, in her mind she always suspects that he’s still creeping. So no one can blame you for thinking he’s still f*cking out on you.

Now, in reference to this cell phone shit. I tell women all the time…NEVER EVER EVER PUT ANY MAN ON ANYTHING INVOLVING YOUR CREDIT. I’ve watched hella ass court shows to know that is one of the dumbest things you can do. The majority of the time dude ain’t paying the bill on time, or paying the bill period. Then you find out he’s using  your phone to hook up with other women. You’re saying he only talks to you at certain times of the day and whenever you talk to him at night it’s like he’s rushing you off the phone. Dude is still doing shady shit. Then he’s using the phone all hours of the night to talk to his “homegirls”? Yea he’s talking to homegirls alright. No man is gonna stay on the phone for hours with a chick unless he’s interested in her and wants to get them panties. Men aren’t that talkative so you know something else has got to be going on.

This is my personal opinion, but I think you should step away from this situation for a while. I know you have feelings for him, but dude is still not ready to  hang up his jersey. You might be holding on to the past a little too tight that you can’t see what’s really going on. If you feel you can put up with the games and the lying, by all means stick with him. If you know you can’t then you know what you have to do. At the end of the day, if your partner hears your cries and still doesn’t give a damn then why should you continue to?

I’ve really hoped I’ve helped you in some way. I am not an expert, I just give my opinions as I see fit. The decision is ultimately yours to make, so I hope you make one that is in your best interest. Keep me posted!