Let the past be the past and move on! Is that statement as really realistic as it seems? Who says you can’t go back? Many times we are in relationships that don’t seem to work out at the time, so we cut our loses and move on. There may be no hard feelings in the relationship, maybe you two were not in the same place at the time. You were ready for commitment and he wasn’t ready to commit to commitment. After a few years of growing up on both sides and you realize that you two are in the same chapter in your lives, do you think it’s safe to rekindle an old flame? Are you prepared for a born-again romance?
About 12 years ago I read a book by Iyanla Vanzant called “In the Meantime”. In this book she talked about letting go of hurt and disappointment and focusing on healing relationships. She told a story that I remember to this day. Iyanla discussed when she met her husband. They dated for a few months, but their relationship ended for whatever reason. Her perspective on it was they just didn’t fit at that time. They weren’t ready to receive each other so their relationship had no choice but to end. She said years later they bumped into each other and after catching up they realized that they were both on the same track spiritually, mentally and emotionally. They both weren’t afraid to want happiness. They decided to give it another try and they ended up walking down the aisle hand in hand.
All relationships don’t operate this way, but there are some people from your past that probably cross your mind from time to time. This seems to be the newest trend. People are going back to the one’s from their past that knew them best. I’ve always said that I see nothing wrong with ex’s being friends…after a substantial amount of time has passed of course. It’s like if you can’t be friends with at least one person from your past, then that sort of shows what type of person you are. You can’t easily accept things as they are. If it’s over for whatever reason, holding a grudge for 15 years does not show growth. If you are over the person and they’re over you, what’s wrong with being cordial if you happen to bump into them out and about?
Anyway getting back on track, if you and someone from your past has discussed rekindling a relationship you must learn one thing. WHATEVER ISSUES YOU’VE HAD IN THE PAST ARE NOW NULL AND VOID. If you know the person wasn’t shit when you got with em before and they still seem like they got ain’t shit tendencies, then chances are your relationship will have the same issues it had the first time. If you decide to go backwards there must be some sort of knowledge you’ve learned to make this go round a little better. You just have to know what you’re getting yourself into. You could rekindle the greatest love you’ve ever known, or it could be worst than the first time and know you’re locked up on a charge for cutting his jugular vein. It’s all about the risks you’re willing to take.
I feel the internet has a lot to do with old couples going down that road again. Let’s take for instance Facebook. You can find anybody on Facebook nowadays. Just type in a name and you see the face of a knee-grow from your past. The second you click “Add As Friend” you’re now connected to their lives and vice versa. You start reminiscing on things and the next thing you know you’re talking on the phone. It’s like the internet allows you to be more cordial and inviting. According to a new study 7% of Americans has used the internet to rekindle a romantic relationship with someone from their past. Like I said the internet has made it easier for people to communicate.
So the moral of this story is…sometimes an old flame isn’t always burnt out. If you both know that you’re mature enough to go there again more power to you. Whatever past hurt or disappointment you may have experienced let it go if you’ve decided to take it there. If you don’t, have you really grown as a person? Don’t try to go back to something that still isn’t right for you. Yea there may be someone from our past that blew the back out and shit, but if that’s all the n*gga still doing and hasn’t evolved… then you will just be a lonely bitch with a f*cked up back. Get ya mind right!
Holla at me: Do you believe there could be a second chance at love with someone from your past?