Can Friends Grow Apart? Hell Yea!!

Last night I was having a conversation with one of my friends regarding growth. A few days ago she sent a text out to about 5 of her friends including me stating that she needs time to sort things out in her life and doesn’t want to really speak to anyone. I’m not sure how the other 4 took it, but I totally understood where she was coming from and told her I am always here if she needed to speak to someone. I felt that’s what being a friend was about…knowing when the other person just needs space and understanding it. So I finally talked to her today and she said she hoped I wasn’t offended by her text. Apparently, I was the only person that didn’t take offense to it. One of her “friends” hung up on her because they thought she was pissed at them and sent that text as a way to say “F*ck off”. Sometimes it’s not always about you. This is the case when the folks you thought were your friends cannot understand growth. They can’t understand that sometimes telling all your damn business just ain’t the business. You’re trying to advance and they’re stuck in the same path of thinking…THIS IS WHEN YOU MIGHT HAVE OUTGROWN YOUR FRIENDS.

As you get older you realize that this is life. I don’t have the friends I had at 12 years old. We just grew apart. I accepted that a long time ago, but some folks just don’t get it. Now ya’ll know me, I’m on my grind 24/7. I got this blog *which is like a full-time job*. I got the actual full-time 9-5 gig. I write for Six Twelve Magazine, run the CanDi Shop and I’m also an online radio personality over at Da Flava Radio. So you see my ass don’t have time to run down every aspect to my life to anyone. Hell my ass don’t even have time to sleep, let alone yuck it up on the phone for hours. So in betwix all that grinding I fell in love. Now here comes a “friend” of mine telling me she no longer wants to be friends because I never told her who I was seeing. When in the hell did that become my obligation to tell anyone anything? Truth be told we were friends since we were kids, but I didn’t know it was my duty as a citizen to let certain people know what’s going on in my life. She told me I can kick rocks and that was it. Now I think people confuse me for someone that gives a f*ck cause obviously I don’t. To get upset over petty shit like that was just uncalled for. Hell, we didn’t talk on a regular basis anyway…why? We grew apart. Yea we were thick as thieves back in the day, but we both have our own lives now. We live in two different places, we didn’t talk on a regular basis…we just grew apart. I accepted that, but I guess someone never got the memo.

I know they say “Friends Forever”, but forever might be only a couple years. I’m at the point where I accept some friendships don’t last because LIFE happens. If you’re doing the same shit you did at 16 and you’re now pushing on 30 you have a serious issue on your hands. I’m not saying you have to drop all your friends, but you don’t have to cry when you don’t hear from them on a Saturday night or they forget to wish you a Happy Birthday. I still love her but I’ve accepted that our friendship is over. We had a good run, but we’re just not in the same place anymore. Someone asked me if I think it’s a bit of jealousy on her part. To be honest…I don’t know nor do I care. I am working very hard to get where I wanna go, and if someone decides they wanna hate on me for doing it then go right ahead.

Not everyone moves at the same speed. Sometimes it takes others time to catch up. Once you can accept the end then you’ve grown more than you know. Nothing can last forever, even though we would like to think so. I still got friends from back in the day where I haven’t talked to in a year or so, but when we do talk it’s nothing but love. I don’t know if I’m wrong, but to be honest I just don’t give a f*ck.