Ask VI- I’m Pregnant, But Not For My Husband

pregnant- woman

Hello VI,

So obviously I’m pregnant. The issue is I’m not pregnant with my husband’s child. My husband and I have been married for 2 years and  separated for 6 months. During that time I have been dating around,  just enjoying myself. Two months ago I was set up on a blind date with this guy who works with my bestfriend. She thought that we would hit it off  and have a few dates here and there. Well, after a few dates we slept together. This was the first time having sex since my separation, so it was much-needed on my end. We used protection, but a few weeks later I started feeling sick and uncomfortable. I took a test and found out I was pregnant.

Continue reading

Diary of A Mad Guest Blogger: Don’t Save Her, She Don’t Wanna Be Saved


Welcome To Diary of A Mad Guest Blogger: This is the section of our blog where bloggers and everyday readers of the site blog on topics they want to discuss. This weeks blog “Don’t Save Her, She Don’t Wanna Be Saved” was written by Sincere

Why do we feel the need to save everybody. I recall a Project Pat song that speaks of this very thing. Don’t save her, she don’t wanna be saved. Let them do what they are going to do. Everybody may not want your help.

Continue reading

Ask VI: How Can I Tell My Parents That I’m Gay?


Dear VI, 


I’ve been struggling with a secret for so long, because I am unsure about letting it be known to the people I love. I’m a 29 year old black man living in New York and I’m gay. I can finally admit it to myself after being in denial for so many years. I tried to deny my feelings because I grew up in a household where being gay wasn’t acceptable. I dated women to cover up the fact that I felt different. In college I got a girl pregnant in hopes that being a father would remove these feelings that I tried to suppress. At that point I never acted on anything, I was on the down low without actually being on the down low. About 3 years after the birth of my daughter I met a man online and the way I felt around him confirmed that I was indeed gay. We started a relationship and eventually moved in together 2 years later. 

The issue is, my parents think that he’s just my roommate. I haven’t told them that I am gay and the roommate they’ve known for 5 years is the man I’m in love with. I’m so afraid that my parents (mainly my father) will disown me. Like I said I am now 29 and holding in this secret from the people I love the most is just killing me. How can I tell my family without losing them? I know this site mostly caters to black women, but I really trust your advice. Love your blog.



He’s My Secret Lover

Continue reading

Ask VI: I Hate Sex….Like Really Hate It


Dear VI, 

I have a major issue, so I am reaching out to you. I’m a 26-year-old mother of 1 and I HATE SEX. I truly hate everything about it. You may wonder how in the world can I hate sex but have a child. Honestly, I have only had sex because I thought it was something I needed to do as a woman. The second time I had sex I got pregnant. I have only had sex 8 times and the more I did it, the more I hate it. I’m never in pain or anything, I just never have any feeling. It’s like my body is numb. I just lay there waiting for it to be over. I am never sexually aroused. It’s like my body just rejects the thought of sex. I’ve met this new guy and I like him so far. I know eventually he will want to have sex, so my question is how can I tell him I’m not sexually interested ?  Or should I just pretend to enjoy it? 


Sex Creeps Me Out

Continue reading

Ask VI- My Bestfriend Asked Me To Have A Threesome…With Her Husband

threesomeDear VI, 

Welcome back. It’s been a long time coming. I have a serious dilemma and I’m wondering if you can help me? My bestfriend of 8 years got married about 3 years ago to this guy we both went to school with. They seemed like a perfect and happy couple. Last week she asked me out to lunch because she said she wanted to talk to me about something. During lunch she tells me that her and her husband would be interested in having a threesome WITH ME. She then went on to say she suggested a stranger, but he felt more comfortable with someone who they both knew.

Of course I was in shock and disbelief that she would even ask me something like that. But honestly the fact that he asked for me is more of a shock. In college I had the biggest crush on him. It never went anywhere, but I always wondered what would have happened if he never met her. I feel like I shouldn’t do it because it’s a little too close for comfort because she’s my bestfriend and all. Another part of me wants to just so I can fulfill that fantasy of having sex with him.

I don’t know what to do. Help me. 

Semi-bad friend

Continue reading

Diary Of A Mad Guest Blogger: Motherhood vs Club Life


motherhood vs club life

Welcome To Diary of A Mad Guest Blogger: This is the section of our blog where bloggers or everyday readers of the site blog on topics they want to discuss. This weeks blog “Motherhood vs Club Life” was written by If Carrie Had Kids

It’s amazing how two things that seem to have nothing in common parallel so much. When I was 22 I mean literally seconds into being 22 I found out I was pregnant. It had been a crazy week, finals, holiday parties, work and preparing to head home for Christmas. I guess I was too busy to notice Aunt Flo didn’t make her monthly visit for the past few months. After discovering I was pregnant and coming to grips with how nothing would ever be the same again I began to tell friends and family. I remember how I was so nervous until I couldn’t breathe and started to hyperventilating while breaking the big news that would forever change the fiber of my being. Looking back it’s kind of hilarious the way that I reacted.

Continue reading