Hey V.I.
The story goes like this we have been in contact with each other for 3 years off and on. Only recently I decided to allow this man into my life. The marriage was on the rocks way before I decided to allow him in my life. Some friends tell me it is not my fault there marriage is having issues  We are both at the point we do love each other, my thing is should I feel some guilt in being with him. I have asked myself what man keeps a woman number for 3 years and never gives up?  He my kids and they love him. The first conversation we had was I did not want to disrespect his marriage until he told me what he wanted. I was told I am not letting you go this time I want to be there for you and kids dad or step dad or whatever.

Can this be real or fake?

Dear CTBROF, 

You know I’m gonna get in that ass right? Why are you getting involved with a married man? I don’t give a damn how “in trouble” his marriage was in before you hooked up, he’s still married. This man will tell you what he needs to tell you to keep you close. Don’t fall for the hype sweetheart, the cheating section in the handbook tells them what to say. You should feel guilty, fuck what your friends think. Obviously you have a conscience and they don’t…stop listening to bitches who want you caught up in mess. You have a mind of your own and obviously it’s working, you’re just afraid to use it. 

If a man wants to be with you so bad, he needs to divorce his wife. A married man can complain about what she’s not doing and all of that, but if he was really unhappy he would get out of the marriage.  Apparently he’s still married so your just the mistress. You will always be labeled the mistress. I know love is blind and you can’t help who you love and all of that, but you can help your actions and your as much to blame in this as him. If he does leave his wife for you I promise you your soul will not be at ease, because once the novelty of your love becomes “regular” you will always think in the back of your mind that he’s cheating. If he cheated with you, he can cheat on you. Karma is that bitch that will loom over your ill-gotten relationship. You know better, but your letting your heart take over and now is not the time for that. 

Another thing; why are you pretending to be a family with someone else’s husband? Why are your kids in the middle of this mess? This man cannot be serious about you **because he’s into something else a little more committed * but you’re letting this man around your kids? What if he doesn’t leave his wife and the kids get attached? Are you two just going to pretend to be together a few hours on the weekend when he can get away from his obligations? I’m telling you, you’re wrong. Those friends of yours aren’t real friends for telling you that this troubled marriage has nothing to do with you. Be wise about this, because trust and believe you will be waiting forever for him to leave. If he does, you will constantly think he will cheat on you. Shit ain’t like he never cheated before. There is always two sides to every story. While he’s telling you the marriage is in trouble, she’s over at the house happy and in love with her “faithful” husband. Think about it. 

I really hope I’ve helped you in some way. The decision is ultimately yours to make, so I hope you make the right one that will be in your best interest. Keep me posted.