Is it sad that the only man I know in this photo is Busta?

Another year another BET Award show. This year I must say this was about the most boring ass show I ever watched. There was no negro shit…no jeux de vie. They gave out 4 awards and three of them thangs belonged to Chris Brown. This year it had like fifty11 cyphers and half them dudes I did not know. The major players in the game didn’t even bother to show up. It was just a show of up and comers and ol school cats. So even tho the show was on some sleeper shit, I still gotta do my Da Good Ish and Da Bad Ish for ya’ll that missed it or even give a damn.

Da Good Ish

Da Kang Is Back~My homie TIP came out looking like he just fresh out the yard. Well fresh out the half way house. He came out like a day or two before the show taping. Anywho, TIP came out on stage looking all micro mini and sexy. He performed with some dude who I don’t f*ck with, but I have no idea or even know the song. I was just focused on TIP and all his hood droppings. I was saddened by the un-enthusiastic crowd of seatfillers tho. Their asses just sat there like they didn’t know Da Kang was in the building? I kinda got offended at that shit.

Mike Epps Really Ain’t Funny…Until He Got Funny~ I consider Mike Epps a special ed comedian. No diss, but he reminds me of the slow kid in school that just happened to say some funny shit from time to time. Anyway, he was kinda funny in the middle of his opening. Talking about folks and whatnot. One of the funny things he said was…um….hmmmm. Shit um damn I can’t remember exactly what was said all I know I chuckled a time or two. Watch that shit for yourself .

Da  Good Cyphers~ Not all the cyphers had me gassed. There were some good ones tho…like yo Chris Brown’s ass killed it for me. I love Chris as a rapper. That boy went innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. One of his lines was “When I told you to use your head I didn’t want you to be no thinker.” Chile Chris made my night. Oh there was this dude Blind Fury. Mayne dude ripped. Made all these I can see negros look stupid. Boy bad as hell. Of course Luda and Busta was there. Didn’t really know why Busta did a whole song tho. I swear Busta had like 5 whole mins. The only thing that was missing was some video hoes and a few bottles of Ciroc. It was great to see my twin/ boo thang Estelle repping for the ladies and the UK. Most folks didn’t know Stelly Stell can rap tho. I can go on with the cyphers for days. Oh I loved that the Lady of Rage was in the building. Girl looking good. She’s showing Da Brat that you ain’t gotta look like a 90′s butch no more. Get some beauty bout yourself gyal. Last but not least my favorite cypher had to be Shady 2.0…Royce Da 5’9 *Hi Rihanna* He stole the show. His flow was da sickest.  Em ehhhh not so much. I’m gonna post 2 cyphers and this one will be in da cut.

DOG MAN X..GAVE UP CRACK FOR BET~ Yo man if you don’t know DMX from the 90′s you don’t know shit about life. DMX came out and I went mad. He sang my favorite songs from back in the day. Ya’ll young whipper snappers don’t know nothing bout the X man other than crack and pink prison jumpsuits. Dude if X brought out the whole Ruff Ryder camp I swear that was the day that I would convert back to a hiphop head. DMX did his thing. I am so happy that he decided to leave that crack alone, well so he says. I just wish his ass would pull D’angelo to the side and smack that pipe out of his hand. I need him. I love him…I want to. You know what…this ain’t about D’angelo. Never mind. My thoughts got the best of me. Moving on….

LL Cool J Dick Hard As Hell~ LL will always be sexy. No matter the plastic surgery or the dome milk dud head. LL got natural sexiness on his side. We all know how he looked back in the day. We all know the thangs he sang bout back in the day too. “It’s the first time together and I’m feeling kinda horny. Conventional methods of making love kinda bore me.” *rubs nips* Lawd have mercy. How can you not want to give LL just a lil bit? Well maybe LL from 1985 to 1999. Modern day LL got too enhanced with botox and shit. He is still a real MC tho.

Da Overweight Lover Made An Appearance ~ Don’t you miss the days when rappers danced with a crew??? I sho do. Heavy D came out and got down with his fluffy ass. Dude sang a few of his old school joints, which didn’t seem to impress the kids any. I swear these chil’rens today only focus on skinny jeans and weed. Wait do kids still smoke weed? Aren’t they on that cough syrup or xanax or some shit??? I don’t know I don’t mess with chil’ren.

Da Bad Ish

The Lesbian Has Gone Dracula~ I don’t know why Brat decided to celebrate Halloween at the beginning of the month, but her whole hood butch dracula inspired cloak was just o_O. Like who told her that this is what is being requested in the streets. Like I said Brat needs to get some beauty bout herself. If you want people to really think you like dick, you gotta play the part. I mean we allllll know you can suck a mean clit, but if you really want us to believe that you’re a dick and balls girl I need you to tidy up a bit. Meaning get rid of the cap turned to the side. Loose out dem damn plaits. Wear some f*cking clothes that fit. I ain’t saying you gotta wear tight shit, but get a pair of nice jeans or something. Make my ass believe that you ain’t a lesbian.If you’re a lesbian cool, but don’t walk, talk and act like a lesbian and try to convince us that you just can’t get enough of a dick. Cause honestly speaking  sir*whispers* you look like you own a few straps-ons and you’re the one that strap em on…just my thoughts.

Wiz Built Like A 7 Year Old Filipino Boy~ I swear this dude is bout the thinnest piece of man I have ever seen. Dude nash as hell. I just need someone to give him a turkey burger and a bottle of Ensure, cause something about his thinness isn’t right. I can see how he fell in love with Amber Rose. The second she plopped that heavy ass on his dick that weight just made him go ape shit. He looks like he got a long skinny one. Like a hot dog. Ok…I’m going elsewhere again.

El Debarge was out of his element~ I needed not to see El Debarge disgrace his good name. Why oh why was he with Rick Ross and them other dudes that follow Rick Ross? The whole performance was very lack luster. I love El, but chile you could have stayed home. One thing I was glad about was that Rick’s titties and gut decided to stay in his satin outfit. I appreciate his titty nor his belly made an appearance at last night’s festivities. I don’t need Rick Ross’s titties all on my tv. He think that nasty mess is sexy, but I am here to tell you sir you look like a whale that ate his own baby.

Again No Awards At The AWARD Show~I don’t understand how people can call a show an award show and really don’t give out any awards. Like I said there were 4 awards and Chris won 3. The show was basically Cyphers and a few performances sprinkled in between the cyphers. This feller Big Sean performed. I was confused as to why this small dude’s name was Big Sean. I mean dude looks smaller than me. Then I was told by several women on twitter that his penis is what’s considered BIG. Now I have not seen said penis, but if it isn’t as big as he says then I consider that false advertisement.

All in all the show didn’t bring anything to my life. It was nothing of cyphers and Rick Ross’s satin outfit. BET is slowly losing the big name stars and getting a bunch of people that time has forgotten or that holds no interested. It looks like Debra Lee and Stephen Hill decided not to give a solid f*ck this year…well again.

Shady 2.0

Uncut cypher

Chris Brown & Friends Cypher

Dear Kevin Hart *in my R.Kelly voice* You saved me. Ya’ll know how much I can’t stand anything that BET does, but last night Kevin Hart saved that damn award show. I usually complain about all the bullshit and whatnot, but Kevin really made me enjoy MOST of the award show. Don’t get it messed up I’m still gonna talk about the shit that was all effed up, but I can report there was finally some good shit this year and with that I have come to the conclusion that BET is trying to love black people again. I’m gonna do my normal run down, so if I missed something let me know.

Da Good Shit

The Pint Sized Host That Made Me Pee On Myself

Kevin Hart in my personal opinion stole the damn show. He was the best host that BET ever had. You normally have those comedians are funny on their dvd’s but when you put them knee-grows to host anything, all you get is some dry ass jokes. Kevin was consistent throughout the whole show. This dude brought tears to my eyes when they did the Real House Husbands of Beverly Hills. I swear that shit should be made into a real show, because I have never laughed so much in my damn life. Kevin did an amazing job.

The Singer and Her Idol

I love Mary even tho she still does the Real Love dance to every damn song she ever sung. I didn’t really dig the whole sneaker heels or whatever she was rocking, but hey I still love Mary. I loved when she brought out Miss. Anita Baker and they were both going in on “Caught up in the Rapture”. That’s my jam and I was so glad to see that someone gave Miss Anita something to do. Praise Him!

Jilly From Philly and The Man With the Dick That Won’t Quit

Chile I love me some Jill Scott. That gal has my heart. When I saw that she was performing I was extra geeked because I have loved her from the beginning. Now I don’t know what song she performed because my man, my heart, my soul… Idris Elba was a part of her performance. *Starts sweating* My soul yearns for Idris ok. If Idris asked me to have sex in the middle of Peachtree Street with a crowd formed around us with news crews taping I would do it. My love for this man is like no other. I would drink his great granddaddy’s bath water. That’s how much I am dedicated to the love I feel for this man. Some might say my love for this fine, tall, chocolate man is unnatural and all I will say is ‘YOU’VE NEVER KNOWN TRUE LOVE”. Let me obsession be great. Thank you!

Chris Brown Stay Beating Bitches

I am a fan of Chris Brown. I think the boy is a good performer and dude got stage presence. Now I cannot remember what category he was in, but he was nominated twice the same category. Subsequently enough Rihanna was nominated twice in the same category as well. I know everyone was like “Oh shit this gonna be interested”. How about this; Chris beat out Rih Rih for the award. It’s like he whopped her ass again. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t condone what was done 2 years ago, but I’m glad to see Chris getting back in the game. Oh and his performance was killer. That boy can dance. I was slightly perplexed about the pants he had on. It’s like he had elephantitis in his legs and they had to design pants to accompany his growth. Very odd, but hey who am I to judge. Oh and he’s back to being a blonde.  Seeing it this long, I guess it’s starting to grow on me.

THE TRIBUTE TO THE QUEEN AND MY AUNTIE IN MY HEAD

Ya’ll when I heard that my auntie in my head was getting honored this year for the Lifetime Achievement Award I damn near passed out. Not because it’s a prestigious honor cause F*$k BET. I almost passed out because the one celebrity who I love more than chicken and watermelon was going to be on my tv. *In My Sanaa Lathan voice* I have loved Patti Labelle since I was 4 years old and the shit just won’t go away. Auntie Patti looked fierce as always and her glitter green Loubou’s were one word…SEX. The special treat was when all my favorite people came out. My main man who I love;  Cee-lo came out dressed like a church mother in his Patti outfit and wig. Cee-lo tore this shit up. I mean the look alone made it for me. There is no way in hell you cannot love this man. Then my boo thang Marsha Ambrosias came out ripped. Chile Marsha’s voice has always been the type of shit that makes you wanna drift away while you are getting touched in special places by Idris. Ok I’m gonna stop talking about him, but DAMN HE IS ALL KINDS OF SEXY. Then momma Shirley Caesar came out and did her thang. I love when Shirley comes on stage you know she taking you back to 1965 in a hot church in the south right. Momma Shirley takes you there. Then my auntie Patti comes on stage and started to sing. Chile Patti ain’t carried on like she normally does though. I needed Patti to get religious with it. Kick off them damn shoes and roll around on the ground. That’s when you know Patti feeling it. I know her feet hurt in those sexy shoes because she just plopped down on the stage. TAKE THE SHOES OFF PATTI WE WON’T JUDGE.

I’m not gay or anything, but did yall see Free’s ass? I mean DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN. When I saw this shit I jumped back in fright because I have never seen a natural ass look like this in all the days of my life. That’s the kind of ass you just have to watch in amazement. Hell even Toccara had to talk about the ass, that’s how big the shit was. Free got one of them “I eat cornbread and grits everyday” asses. How the hell did she get that shit and how can I be down? I mean I need one of them asses in my life.

Someone said she’s giving Nicki Minaj  competition. Um Free’s ass is real, Nicki’s isn’t so how in the hell is that competition. The second Nicki devlops a natural bubble ass maybe, but as of right now Free got that bitch beat. Free I applaud you and your big ol natural ass. Like I said I ain’t gay but your ass caught me off guard and I had to  write this little blurb about it. Good luck with that wagon your draggin. Damnnnnnnnnnnnn chile.

Fin

V.I.

After this I may never be invited to the BET awards again, but hell does it look like I give a flying f*ck. So I’ve been wanting to talk about this wack ass show like 2 weeks ago, but I had to wait until ya’ll saw what I saw. The show of course was… extra wack this year. Mike Epps was ok if you like listening to a slow person trying to read in front of strangers. All in all it was a bunch of coon like n*ggas dancing and jigging like fools. I’m gonna run down what was so wrong about the BET Hip Hop Awards and point out what made my night *whispers Common while rubbing on the nips*

Da Bullshit

Heaux’s and Rappers Apparently Fit~ First off let me say that BET believe in stereotypes. I ain’t talking about all the negro men on stage acting like they dropped out of 5th grade *Flocka*. I’m actually talking about the audience. BET hires seat fillers to fill the seats so the area that will be in the shots aren’t empty. The issue I have is BET picks nothing but ghetto hoes to be in the shots. I ain’t hating or nothing, but it pains me to know that BET condones sexism just outright. They picked the ghetto busted “BET Uncut” looking chicks and seat them next to celebs. Do you know how many seatfillers got f*cked by Rick Ross that night? Anyway, I think that shit was just tasteless…but then again BET thinks hoes and hip hop coincide with each other so I guess who da f*ck is I?

The Purpose of an Award Show is…~ Ya’ll I think the Caucasians have a wonderful concept when it comes to award shows. *Giggles* They actually give awards out to the folks that won. Did ya’ll notice BET seems to hate giving out awards at their award shows? They gave two awards and correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t the awards go to Nicki Minaj and Rick Ross? Where the hell did the actually handing of awards stop? At the taping they gave them out, but I guess after they looked at the boring footage they just decided to edit out all that unnecessary shit. And what the hell was up with the names of the categories…The Best Club Banger…The Hustler of the Year? Yo no wonder BET can’t come up after 30 years, Martin Luther King Jr. ain’t marched for this bullshit.

I Don’t Like Rap No Mo All I do Is This *Flips Bird*~ The “performances” were very BET. You see Wacka Flocka dumb ass running all over the place whipping his hair like he’s Willow Smith. Pulling Baby’s old ass on stage. That  80 year old n*gga don’t even know your song. Gucci lips looked like it went hard in the muddaf*cking paint. Every time that dude performs a song…I get mad. I just don’t understand when did this crap become hip hop. Da Diplomats….NEXT! Wait back up…when will Jim Jones decide to plat his hair or cut it off? Ain’t he bout 50 now? It’s time to get that matted mess off his head. He looks like he smells like the shit found in a garbage disposal. Soulja Boy needed to sit somewhere with that noise in my head. Just so blah.

Ya”ll Better Hide Yo Husbands~ So Antwone Dodson’s malnourished self was there. Why I don’t know and I don’t really care. Like Mike Epps said congratulations to him buying a house for his momma and em’ and coming out of the projects where they rape husbands and babies. How long will they stay in the house is another story.

Da Business

Da Cyphers~ The cyphers are actually the only reason to watch the BET awards . One of my favs had to be “The Family Affair” Edition with Ice Cube and his sons Dough Boy and OMG. Not forgetting Rev Run with his kids Diggy and the other one. Ok I feel bad for JoJo. Diggy cute self came outta nowhere and blew JoJo’s lame ass out the water. Diggy’s gonna be somebody, while JoJo gonna still gonna be traveling to the “hood” trying to score some weed from the Po folks. That damn JoJo is a waste.

My Baby Daddy Made Suits Look Damn Good~ So this actually falls in line with the Cyphers, but I had to put my man Common in a category all by himself. *Sigh and starts to tear up* If ya’ll know how much I love Common you will understand. When I saw him I screamed out loud because my heart wasn’t prepared for it. He looked so damn good in his suit..with them freckles and that bread and baldness. I just wanna rub baby oil on his head and comb out his beard for him *grabs a tissue and blows my nose of snot* Oh yea Kanye and them other dudes was cool too. I like to see Kanye dress in sane people clothes every so often. Makes me remember when he was trying to come up in the game.

The Performances I did Rate~ I loved B.O.B’s performance. I thought it was a different look at this year’s award show. He didn’t sound like a rambling mess. He sounded tight to death. Loved it…one of thee best. I also enjoyed seeing Hammer on stage. It’s been a long time since I seen Hammer dance. Thought I was in the 80′s all over again. Big Boi did his thang as usual. I wasn’t really listening to the song, but I ride for Outkast so Sir Lucious Left Foot got a pass from me. I really liked when Digital Underground came out and repped it for the 80′s. When Hip Hop was about having a great ass time.  Shock G got on the piano and started playing “I get around” by Pac. I love me some Pac more than I love a dope pair of  shoes; well that might be taking it a little too far, but I thought that was pretty cool.

The True Women of Hip Hop~Seeing Salt, Pepa and Spin on stage together again was a great feeling. They deserved to be honored for making it in a time when women weren’t taken seriously in the industry. Chicks like Nicki Minaj wouldn’t be here in this bitch if it wasn’t for Salt ~n~ Pepa. The ladies looked nice… *I ain’t the one to gossip so ya’ll ain’t hear this from me* When did Pep became so lady-like after being ghetto as hell in the 80′s and 90′s and 2 weeks ago? That boggles my mind.

To wrap this shit up; the award show was a snooze.  The only thing that interested me in all honesty was looking at the menz…mainly Common. Oh wait J.Cole is a cutie. Not sure what he was rapping about but he gets points for being a hottie. BET did it’s job catering to the foolish and uneducated as usual. No one I know actually watches BET anymore. It has gone to the Nicki Minaj and Wacka Flocka stans. I hate BET and all it stands for…Black Entertainment Television my ass. Oh I love BET cause they ‘re bringing back my FAVORITE SHOW “The Game” which started taping already. Look out for it on 1-11-11. That shit is gonna be epic. Wait a minute… being on BET might f*ck up their budget. Lawd I hope they don’t mess up my show. I waited too damn long for the show to come back on air. Ya’ll like how I just stopped talking about the award show and focused on “The Game”? Yea that’s how uninterested I am about this post. So yea…Bye!

Featuring~ Ice Cube, Rev Run, OMG, Dough Boy, Diggy and JoJo

Featuring~Kanye West, Common, Pusha T, Big Sean and Cyhi The Prynce

*Walks to my news anchor desk and adjusts my spectacles* Hello, this is V.I. reporting from the comfort of my bed. Although, I am suppose to be on a “blogger break” I decided that posting my commentary for the BET awards was very necessary. Now I don’t watch BET, matter of fact I think it’s the bootleg-ish channel on cable, but I digress. I felt the need to throw in my 2 cents. Now the award show was the longest thing I ever had to encounter. It makes no damn sense for a show to be this damn long. Anyway, there were some good moments and there where some “ain’t this some shit” it just made me dislike negro tv even more.

1.Yeezy ain’t dead, he’s just “POWERFUL“~I was so freaking excited when Kanye opened the show. It was like a breath of fresh air to see him on a stage not interrupting white chil’ren. Now I don’t know what the song was even about, but the performance, special effects and stage looked rocking. I’m so glad he came out of hiding for the negro awards.

2. The Queen is Here~ So Queen La was the host of the award show, and I must admit when she started rapping I felt like the old Queen was in the building. Then as the night went on it seemed like she was trying too hard to show she was “black”. Don’t get me wrong she wrecked it back in the day, but I think Dana been round the white folks too long. Her jokes were dry, and she constantly changed into shit that was suppose to remind us of her past self, but it was hella corny. Other than that I guess she was alright.

3. Alicia Keys and her baby bump~ Alicia Keys won the first award of the night for “Best Female Artist”. Everyone just couldn’t wait to see the baby bump. She is beautiful pregnant, that’s all I will say. No, I hope that this kid looks like her cause Swizz Beats looks like a rat that someone forgot to feed.

4. That Bitch Nicki~ I am officially over this chick. Matter of fact, I was never under her. I never got the whole Nicki “I eat p*ssy and suck d*ck” Minaj. This girl has all the younger and some old hoes looking like fools. Not only is her voice annoying, but this whole I wanna be barbie shit is played. She went on stage with her troll orange hair and talked like a f*cking 5 year old. Then she said some shit bout Kim, but got all mad with it. Honestly, her 15 minutes needs to finally run out. I can’t take another chick walking in the mall with that pink and black weave on top their head.

5. I got a LOVE JONES~ I loved to see Nia Long and Larenz Tate on stage together. Then they started reciting their poetry lines from the movie. Lawd I just loved that movie. Great to see original black actors. Not them rapper turned actor, trying to stay rapper negros.

6. CHRIS BREEZY IS BACK~ This must have been the night of comeback’s cause *sobs* Chris Brown finally did it. He finally got to pay tribute to his mentor Michael Jackson. This was the highlight of the whole show in my opinion. Chris did his thing in the dance tribute, but when it got the singing the actual tribute song “Man in the Mirror” CB broke the f*ck down. Snot and dribble everywhere. Hell he even got me crying and shit. That was the moment when we knew CB was back. I am so happy. I’m not condoning violence or anything, but I think the man has learned from his mistake and will never f*ck with another island bitch again. *I mean that in the most loving way*

8. Choir robe Gone wrong~ So Monica performed and even though I love me some Mo Denise, the outfit needed to be burned and sent to hell. She had on some weird choir robe inspired temple of doom shit. That was the worst thing I ever did see on a human being. Just looked Gawd awful. Oh lawd, and I don’t like to talk about the elderly but Deniece Williams needed to sit down somewhere. That lady has either been smoking a pack of Newports right before the show or lost the ability to sing. That lady sounded HORRIBLE. HORRIBLE!

Shouts to WSHH for the video

Chris Brown finally did it. Chris finally got to say goodbye to Michael Jackson the right way. We all know CB idolized Mike and when he passed Chris was unable to pay homage to Mike because of his whopping Rihanna’s ass debacle. This was the highlight of the night in my opinion. Not only did Breezy kill it, he finally let it all out of the world to see. Some say the tears are fake, I say yo momma! I think this was something he never got to do and he did it. Here is the complete performance.  Great performance and I don’t care what ya’ll say. CHRIS BROWN IS BACK BITCHES!

So last night everyone tuned into the 2010 Oscars. We were intrigued to see if Brad Pitt was gonna win for Inglorious Bastards or if Sandra Bullock was gonna take it home for The Blind Side. *Scratches record* Who are we kidding the majority of us only watched the awards to see if Precious was gonna win. Let’s face it, that was the only negro movie that the majority of ya’ll got on bootleg last year. So for all my black people out there and the people that wish to be black here is my review of everything black at the 2010 Oscars.

1. Precious and her abusive momma’s attire~ So everyone was dressed like they were going out in public. I wasn’t too ashamed with any of them. Gabby Sidabe aka Precious and Mo’Nique looked really nice in their blue gowns. Precious…I mean Gabby….shit we might as well call her ass Precious. She was doing the most on that damn red carpet though. I love her confidence and all but don’t it seem like her ass got a big head since she got into the spotlight? Mo is now the Incredible shrinking woman. I ain’t never seen a big chick loose that much weight so fast. Yikes!!! I think Mo is on Trimspa baby. #NoAnnaNicole

2. God May Have Had a Slight Stroke…Or Drunk~ I know I’m not the only one that noticed Morgan Freeman moving a little…well a little out of it? On the red carpet he started slurring his words and his ass had the nerve to chew gum. I know he GOD and everything, but one thing I thought GOD had was class. Then while the showed him in the audience he was leaning forward like he was having a silent stroke or something. I don’t know if he had that wine before he got out the limo, but Morgan need to lay off. Can’t take old black folk nowhere.

3. That Bitch  Kanye’d on ya’ll hoes~ So the man who was running up to the stage very flamboyantly won an award for something or the other and this old Betty Davis looking woman came outta nowhere and Kanye’d his ass. I get embarrassed when folks on tv get embarrassed so I muted my tv. Not sure what she was saying, but that n*gga had a look of “This old white bitch better get off the stage before I get Southside Chicago on her lilly white ass”. Well that’s what I think he wanted to say. Dude never even got to finish his speech. This was MTV all over again just the race and genders were reversed. Plus, no one knew who the hell this chick was. I’m so proud of Kanye.

4. Mo’Nique wins!!!~ No matter how loud she screams on her EBT show we were all pulling for Mo to win this category. I was so happy yet so sad because black folks only win Oscars when they play the dirtiest roles. I guess we can just be happy that she won. She thanked the staff of her EBT show, the cast of Precious and her LAWYER. I ain’t never heard of someone going on stage and thanking their lawyer. This must be something new cause this shit is ghetto has hell. Like she done came up and she gotta thank him for her money and what not. Then she thanked her husband. This may just be me but doesn’t her husband look like the rapist dude from up the street? Ok I guess that might just be me. *dancing* Mo’s hubby is gonna get some coochie tonight, to bad it won’t be her’s. They do that open marriage thang.

5. No Mupphets Were Harmed in the making of that dress~ I like Zoe, really I do but it looked like a Mupphet shit on her dress. I just wasn’t feeling the whole I am different watch me strut thing. I mean I know you have to make a statement on the red carpet, but a purple mupphet dress wasn’t gonna cut it. I don’t know how many of ya’ll would agree, but that shit looked horrible. 

7. Precious wins for Adapted Screenplay~ I am so glad that Jeffery Fletcher won this category. I just didn’t understand why the hell they showed the scene when Precious was running down the street with a bucket of chicken. The movie was about an hour long and that’s the only scene you felt confident to show? I mean come the f*ck on academy. 

6. *sings* Tyler Perryyyyyyyyyyyyyy~ I love Tyler Perry!!! He presented something from the other and made this statement “Wow my name was said at the Oscar’s. You will never hear that again”. The Oscar’s don’t take too well with too much black folks. You see how the put all the black people in that corner? Damn shame!!!

7. Precious wasn’t so Precious~ So while writing this blog I was waiting for the category of “Best Actress”. All of my twitter friends and I were sitting on pins and needles hoping that Gabby won for her role as Precious. The excitment was short lived when we heard “And the Oscar goes to….Sandra Bullock”. I like Sandy B really I do, but what was so challenging playing a white rich woman that takes in a big black dude? I don’t get it. I never watched the movie, but I think Precious was a damn good movie. #Ontothenext1

8. Best Director…NOT PRECIOUS~ They didn’t win! The night started looking gloomy after the best actress category

9. Best Picture….Nope not them again~ You guessed it, they didn’t win. By the time this category came up I was zoned out. I knew they weren’t gonna win Best Picture. 

10. IT’S OVER AND THE BLACK FOLKS ARE CRYING~ They usually say, they were just honored being nominated. That is true, but let’s face it who really likes to loose? Precious momma done left her NYC Subway post to come to the award show and her child ain’t even won. Po Gabby.

One thing I can say about the Oscars this show is long as f*ck. I think I slept in the middle of it. I think I covered all the black folks. There were only a handful there anyway. Oh Queen Latifah’s looked great and um Oprah’s hair was flowing. Ok, I covered all 6 of the black people at the award show. Next year FreakNik the musical will be nominated for “Best Coon N*gga Shit” show. I pray to Morgan Freeman that shit don’t happen.