Now, we’ve all heard and read about the situation with Tiger and his “Becky”. Twitter was all a buzz yesterday killing my timeline with this bullshit. It kills me how people are acting like this is the first time they ever heard of someone cheating …EVER. I bet the next thing you know they gonna have a Congressional hearing over the fact that Tiger got some on the side. In my opinion what people do is their business. If the man wanted to step out on his wife, what business is that of ours? That is between those two and the God they stood in front of. My issue is the sly b*tches men choose to cheat with. They pick these gutter butt b*tches who’s only goal in life is too hook a man with that chedda. This was his mistake…dealing with a basic jumpoff.I always say if you’re gonna cheat, do it with someone that has as much to loose as you do. If you’re a married rapper and you meet a coat check girl and start to give her the ol heave hoe…your shit is gonna get exposed. First off, you know random everyday chicks won’t keep a secret relationship under wraps for too long. Especially if you have a little status to yourself. Them hoes waiting for the right moment to have all your business out on the street. I don’t care who you are I don’t give nobody any ammo on me. His chick leaked voice mails to the media. That girl was just waiting on the day that shit came out so she would get her “pay day”. Never ever ever give someone that much ammo on you fool. Some chicks out here are just looking for the fastest come up they can possibly get. Be smart about yours. If you choose to do stupid shit, be prepared for the consequences of your actions. Train these hoes from young. You set the boundaries.
In this day and age, you really can’t trust people as far as you can throw them. Did he expect Becky #2 to obey his marriage? Why should she when he clearly wasn’t ? I don’t believe in violence, but his wife beating his mixed ass showed him something. A woman hurt, no matter what color can f*ck your world up. We don’t know the details of their marriage, so saying that he cheated because Becky was now giving him a lazy Susan is wrong. Shit, it doesn’t matter why he cheated…he cheated. It’s not the end of the world, the earth isn’t gonna swallow him whole. He’s doing what people, married, committed, dating have been doing for years. He’s man…flesh. Just because he has a good golf swing doesn’t make him above anyone else. If she decides to divorce him the only place he will feel it is in is pockets because that bitch is gonna get paid.
So what have we learned from this whole Tiger loves women long time story? No matter how a person is perceived in the public eye, looks can be deceiving. Truth be told just by looking at his big teeth and listening to his nasal drip voice I wouldn’t peg him to have jump-off’s. But he is a man…so *shrugs*. Since this came out you’re gonna see all kinds of Becky’s and maybe a Latifah or two come out of the woodwork and admit they had something with Tiger. People love to see other people fall. It’s like we hold celebrities on this high pedestal like they can never do wrong because of who they are. Their human, they wipe their asses just like everyone else. Well except Lil Wayne, he doesn’t look too hygienic. This man cheating on his wife has nothing to do with my everyday life. I could give a damn that Tiger smashed a Tool Academy chick. Hell good for him. This is probably the riskiest thing he ever did since he drank Ovaltine from the wrong cup. Let them deal with their marriage privately. Whatever they decide to do is on them. This is the last time I will ever talk about Tiger and his love for the Becky’s. I JUST DON’T GIVE A DAMN!!!!
Sex can make or break a relationship. I don’t care what people say, sex is an important factors when it comes to relationships. It can make your life a bed of roses or it can suck so much that you start imaging you’re with Tyrone from the job while your boo is “piping you down”. *side eye* Sex can also be the greatest downfall. People won’t admit that it is more bigger than many realize.
I’ve always viewed sex as a major thing ever since I was a little girl. Not that I’m a freak or anything *getcho minds out the gutter* I knew from an early age sex made things different. People acted differently when they had sex, they acted differently without it. Sex changes the way you look at things, sex changes the way you look at others. If your relationship isn’t working and the sex is the shit, you will more than likely put up with whatever other bullshit your relationship consists of. Sex keeps people around. It’s like an addiction, once you get it and it feels good; you’re hooked. No matter what, you’re hooked and it would take heaven and earth to get you clean. That’s why people say “Once you have sex with someone, they now have a part of your soul”, theynow have a hold on you. No mater what goes down sex will be dangled as that bait to get you confused. It’s something you’ve longed and craved for, even though everything else is not the way you might want it, you’re partially satisfied.
On the other hand, if the sex is truly the pits it’s easier for people to let go. There is nothing really binding you to that person, so letting go may not be so hard. This is when some people feel the need to seek sexual pleasures outside of their relationships. I’ve done this and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I was in a relationship where he couldn’t perform sexually. There was nothing wrong with him physically; his dick just didn’t work with me. *shrug*. I chose not to sweat the small stuff *pun intended*. I wasn’t getting the satisfaction I needed so I went out and got it somewhere else. I know that seemed cold-hearted, but hey I wasn’t getting what I needed so I did who I wanted. I won’t talk about the hours of amazing sex or the way his d*ck filled me up. I don’t like to brag, but I will say that what I got made me realize what I needed so I terminated the sexless relationship. I know staying with him would make no sense, because there was no sex or love there. We were just… there. If we had no sex or love what did we really have?
Sometimes people confuse thier sexual feelings and desires for love. What most people don’t realize is that love and sex have rarely to do with each other. Love deals with the mental, spiritual and physical stimulation while sex deals with the physical. A lot of people think if the sex is amazing their in love. *Shaking head* It doesn’t work like that. You’re in love with the sex, there’s a huge difference. When you’re actually in love with the person making love to them will be the most terrific feeling. When you’re in love, the physical means so much more. It feels different, because you’re making love with every part of you. It changes you. It makes you realize that just having sex just doesn’t compare. I’ve learned that sex can be just sex, while love is something else. I’ve done the sex, now I’m waiting on love. It’s a whole lot better, plus I won’t have to kick dude out of my bed when it’s over.
Ok, I don’t understand what’s the deal with people trying to rush a relationship. There’s no more “let’s take our time”, now it’s if you’re not where I am let’s call the whole thing off. *Where the f*ck they do that at?* Don’t folks know that rushing shit only puts your ass in a f*cked up position. In my opinion, shit like that is bound to end horribly. There is nothing that can be successful when a person Debo someone into a relationship.
I’ve been forced into a relationship before. Well not forced, but I damn sure didn’t want to give him the “He’s my man” status. He was a cool guy and everything, he just wasn’t my type. We started kicking it and the next thing you know he’s calling me his girl. He continuously asked me when we were gonna make this official and I constantly changed the subject. I just wasn’t in it the way he was, but I decided to give it a try. From the beginning the relationship was one-sided. After a while being around him was torture for me. I honestly started to feel dislike for this dude. Every time I was around him I got mad, like I trapped myself in some dumb shit and I didn’t know how to get out. He had feelings and I had pity. I know that wasn’t anything to base a relationship off of, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I just didn’t want to tell him “I’m not into you, your d*ck bores me, and I would rather cut off my tits and hand them to the less fortunate than be with you”. That is just plain ol mean in my book. So I stayed where I didn’t want to. As time went on I got comfortable. I wasn’t IN LOVE or anything…I was comfortable. When I got comfortable I stayed, because here I was still with someone I didn’t want, but I was in it too long to spring the “I still don’t like you the way you like me on him”. I don’t know what the hell was wrong with me when it came to this relationship, but I wasn’t doing ME. Like I said I felt trapped, like I was in jail or something. He was the one who said “I love you first”. He was the one that suggested I moved in with him. I just looked at this man and said “Hell f*cking no”. He seemed confused and I was tired of playing this dumb ass game.THANK GOD I found an out. He was offered a job in another city and I was more than excited to say “I don’t do long-distance relationships”. I was so happy that negro got the hell on, I was too through.
You can’t force anyone to want you, hell you can’t force anyone to like your ass. Let folks develop shit on their own time and not try to make them feel shit that isn’t there. It’s only gonna hurt you when you finally stick your f*cking head out the clouds and realize that your love doesn’t match theirs. Then folks wanna get pissed because someone isn’t feeling the same feelings. That shows me you have low self-esteem and you’re clutching on to love where ever you can find it even if it doesn’t find you. That is some sad shit right there. Then you wanna get mad and blame the other person for not loving you the way you love them. Stop looking for unattainable love. Let the shit ride out and maybe, just maybe the other person falls in love deeper than you ever imagined.
Over the weekend I had a very surprising, yet much needed conversation with one of my ex’s. Basically, we discussed our past and finally moving forward. This is not to say that we haven’t both moved on in our own little ways, but when you were involved heavily with someone you tend to have something still lingering. Every time I see him I’m reminded of the shit I wish I could forget; good and bad. I realized that was something incredibly sad on my part, because even the good times I wanted to forget. No matter how your relationship ended or began, there should never be any regrets. That person has thought you at least one thing that you can take with you into another relationship…no matter what it is. Now I’m thinking of all the things I’ve learned and will I actually apply this knowledge the next go around.
You guys read my blogs about “The Model” before right? Even though I talked about our INCREDIBLE sex life, I never really discussed our back and forth relationship. From the beginning, our relationship was different. The very moment we met I knew this man was going to be someone in my life. I don’t understand how I figured this out; I think it was the way we spoke to each other. There was comfortability with each other that shocked us both. Everything seemed to happen faster than we both anticipated, so we kind of started to pull back in our own ways. This was when all the issues started. Men and women need to be on the same page when they’re in a relationship; or else one person is left wondering what the fuck happened and the other person basically no longer giving a fuck. We never really discussed what we were doing at this point. Sure we were both slowing things down, but does that necessarily mean that we were free to do other things?
As far as our relationship no woman has ever disrespected me, and no man has ever disrespected him. He just had a habit of pushing to see how far he could go. This is something both men and women do in unhealthy relationships; this is part of the game. We take some things to an extreme sometimes to either get a rise out of the next person, or because we just don’t know what else to do. So getting back to the heart to heart. He has admitted that he did something’s that he knew hurt me, and I acknowledged that I did something’s to hurt him back. I stopped doing the you hurt me so I will hurt you back game a long time ago, but with our strong personalities it just took me back to that place. I also told him the relationship made me see a lot of my flaws, and at this point I’m too scared to even go there with anyone. Yes, I admitted to this man that I am scared. Sometimes showing a little weakness isn’t always so bad. Of course he got it twisted and thought that I was trying to get back together. I had to shut that shit down quick and tell boo, I’M NOT TRYING TO GET BACK TOGETHER. This was just something that I needed to let out for me to actually move forward. He understood, and we got a few more things off our chests.
No matter how long ago or how your relationship ended, I think it’s important to get everything out. I always said “If I truly loved someone, there is no way in hell I can ever hate them”. Sure I might want to shoot your ass or run you over with my car, but I can never turn my true love for you into hate. I guess that’s why I am still good friends with all the men I ever really loved. *There’s only been 2, I don’t go and love on just anybody* No matter how we ended, the cheating, hell even the baby that with another chick I had to have this talk. It’s a release that you’d be glad you had a chance to experience. Love is never guaranteed, but when you find it no matter how, it teaches you something every time.
Back in the day the thought of sex made me anxious. Well the thought of finally having it made me anxious. Watching Red Shoe Diaries and Skin-a-max late at night made me want to give up the goodies in the worse way. I would wake up thirsty for it, because after watching all that damn soft core porn I knew that shit was going to be the best thing since .25 cent blow pops. As I think back on my experiences back then verses now, I would have rather stuck with the fucking blow pops.
Every one’s first time naturally sucks; it’s supposed to. I think it’s suppose to show kids sex is the dumbest shit you ever want to do, and you should wait until you’re married to partake in it. As kids we wanna do everything that the adults deem as wrong, so even though the sex sucked the first time we decide to do it again. I don’t know if it’s the peer pressure or just the thought of your $5.oo foot long entering her danger zone, but you wanna make sure one last time that this isn’t the shit for you. The 2nd time around you catch the rhythm, you last a little longer than 2 minutes, and you’re hearing moans releasing from your partner’s mouth. Awwww shit, you’re getting it now.
I’ve spoken about the first time I had sex, and how it sucked more than Vivica Fox on a good day. Well the whole sex experience with my first boyfriend sucked. I vowed that I would never let another man touch me with his penis. The second man I was with I was a little older and thought I was much more mature. The sex didn’t seem so bad; hell anything seemed better than the first guy so I rolled with it. The more I did it, the better it became. This was something that I could defiantly grow into. As I got older I wasn’t as anxious as sex as I was when I was younger. I thought the better it was the more I would crave it. I started to crave the man more than the sex. I realized sex is way better with someone you have strong ass feelings for. Sure you can get a dude that can fuck you royally with no feelings for him what-so-ever, but when you have those feelings the shit is worth it.
So now I’m at the point where “sex” has became over-rated; hence my celibacy. A solid relationship has become more important than a solid wood in me. Sure I think about sex ALOT, but I know that once the moment is over…what’s next? If I’m not in a relationship with someone I truly care about, sex would mean absolutely nothing to me. I don’t cuddle, kiss, or spoon with a guy I’m just fucking…so this defeats the whole purpose of being intimate. So now I guess you can say I’m back to square one. I’ve now replaced Red Shoe Diaries with Red Tube, and I’m anxious to meet someone that I can make love to. I’m not over exaggerating I just want what I want. Hell I am old enough to get what I want.
I think everyone has a point where sex changes them; for the good or the bad. You might start to flashback on everything and you start to think; was it really worth it back then. I honestly wish I waited back in the day. At that age I thought I knew what the fuck I was doing, but I’m almost 30 and I’m just figuring shit out.
I found out that I have teen readers. Although I try to remain open and not throw my beliefs on folks, I think I still have to speak my mind. It is much better to wait until you know what you’re doing. Hell that might be right now for you, or a year from now. Please just make sure you’ve really thought about it, and please enjoy the moment with the right person. Maybe at 30 years old you would look back at your evolution and realize that the choices you made were the right ones.
Holla at me: Do you think you’ve come full circle?