A lot of people fail to realize that a hoe no matter how hoe-ish he/she might be, doesn’t go very far for too long. All hoes expire at some point. Yea they’re hot for a minute, but once the guy/girl realizes that there is something out there better you will be a distant memory. There are a lot of chicks out here that think f*cking every guy for recognition, money or a damn purse is needed. They choose to live their life that way, but fail to realize there is a time that their services won’t be needed. They will be tossed to the side and left out in the cold with a busted and bruised coochie and a bag that is so last year.
I HATE THE DAMN INTERNET. Like with every fiber in me ya’ll are slowly driving me away from the World Wide Web. It’s like people see social media as a platform to annoy the entire f*ck out of others. No matter what social media site you’re on, you see some of the dumbest shit and encounter some of the most attention starved individuals. For instance; Facebook has a multitude of dumb shit that ends up on your newsfeed on a daily basis. No matter what time of day you’re bound to find someone who does shit to annoy you. I’ll run down the list of the things that make me hate social media in no particular order.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being an independent black woman, but I think some women use their “independence” as a cover. Many single women shout “I’m independent. I got my own house, car and money. Yea I’m doing it for myself.” Hmmm last time I checked isn’t that what it means to be SINGLE? I don’t know how many of ya’ll will ride with me on what I’m about to say, but here goes. I think women confuse the term independent and they don’t realize all the shit they got is what a single woman is supposed to have. Then you have some women that use their “independence” to scare men away, then wonder why they can’t find any good men out there. Ya’ll confusing your damn self and chasing away any prospect for any long-term relationships.
The one thing I despise in this great world we live in is the essence of a f*ck boy. The type of boy that ain’t shit, don’t have shit and never gonna be shit yet they expect to have the baddest of bitches and try to dictate everything around them. The one thing these types of people really think is that the world rises and sets on their asses. Their standards are so high yet they’re the lowest form of human ever created. The thing about the f*ck boy is that some sorry ass chick has made them feel like anything is possible. They degrade women just to make their blank existence seem like it’s worth something. Why do these men think they can disrespect a women, when they obviously have bigger vaginas?
Can you have a friendship with his ex? I know most of you looking at this like “This heffa must be out of her mind.” I know it’s not that common, but it’s not unheard of either. There are some people who have a friendly relationship with their significant’s other’s ex. They may not hang out and shit, but they’re cordial with each other. No bad vibes, well at least on the surface. I can say that I’ve never had a friendship or even a decent conversation with an ex of anyone I’ve ever dated. Them bitches didn’t like me. Maybe because I looked better than their ugly asses. Whatever the reasoning I never had the opportunity, not like I wanted it anyway. I do know some women that hang out, go shopping even chat on the phone. Chile that is just a little too much closeness for me. Would you be able to befriend your man’s ex even though he’s not into her anymore?
I realized I have never touched on this topic on my site, but this is one that seriously needs to be talked about. There are a lot of men out here dealing with mommy issues. It’s common for women to have daddy issues, but men seldom discuss the issues they faced with their mothers. Over the weekend I watched the highly anticipated episode of “Iyanlya Fix My Life” with life coach Iyanla Vanzant. Iyanla decided to help DMX get his life together and hopefully “save” him from himself. Now everybody that knows Earl Simmons knew that this wasn’t going to be the easiest shit to do. DMX had a lot of issues like drugs, women, anger, family and hurt. DMX was nothing but a hurt man who basically gave up on himself and it all steamed from the issues he had with his mother. His mother according to him basically treated him like shit. It seemed like she never really gave a damn about him and showed it. When his career was hot he sang a song called “Slippin” which he rapped about his mother and their horrible relationship. That’s when we all found out what he went through as a child. DMX became a product of his household, he just stopped caring because his mother just didn’t. That relationship fucked up every relationship he had especially with the one woman who loved him…his wife. She went through hell with this man and subsequently their children witnessed the same hell. His issues as a child growing up with a woman who didn’t love him destroyed his relationships as an adult.
I’ve always heard the term ‘You gotta fake it, till you make it”. Like there is no way you can get to where your going being who you really are? Nowadays I see that it’s true that no matter how “real” you pretend to be, everyone fakes it. If you haven’t doctored up something in your life to make it more than what it really is, your not to be trusted. We see it all the time; fake friendships, fake career, relationships hell even faking it sexually has all of a sudden become popular. I remember a man once told me, “Even if I’m not satisfying you sexually, just pretend I am so I can feel like I did something”. This is the shit I’m talking about. People accepting what’s fake and taking it for reality. I just don’t understand when did fake become the new real?
I always believe that one should be themselves. Cut all the fake shit and just rock in their reality. I don’t claim to be someone I’m not. I don’t spend money I know my broke ass don’t have to floss for motherfuckers I don’t care about. I don’t keep fake friends in my circle, and trust me if I find their is some fake shit going on I have no problem dropping your ass to the curb. Basically I’m a realist about mine and don’t put on for others. I’m the same way in relationships as well. I’m not perfect or pretend to be. I have my flaws and I make sure I advise your ass of such. If I’m unhappy in a relationship we either discuss and try to work things out or we part ways. I know a lot of people that claim to be in these “wonderful” relationships, but behind close doors they’re miserable and unhappy. Because they don’t want folks to think that they aren’t capable of keeping someone so they fake it. Faking it for the benefit of others.
Maybe I’m doing it wrong. Maybe living in real-life is just played out and I need to be like everyone else and “fake it till everyone believes in it”. The thing about me is I could give a solid portion of a fuck what others think. Shit maybe that’s why I don’t fuck with a lot of people. I feel if I’m giving you the real me, I expect the same thing from them. I refuse put on for folks. Men pretend to be “ballers” to attract the groupies, who pretend to be “real women” to attract the ”ballers”. Bringing out their representative, showing folks who they wanna be and not showing what’s real. I always use the example of a used car salesman. He’s gonna tell you all the wonderful shit about the shiny car and even make shit up so the car can appeal to you. It looks great on the outside, but you don’t know it’s actually messed up under the hood. He’s not gonna discuss how the engine is fucked up, the brakes don’t work and the oil pan has a leak. He’s gonna show all the outside shit you can see and down play all the shit you can’t see with the naked eye. Truth be told if someone exposed what was really under their hood, would you really wanna stick around? So I guess continue faking it, maybe that’s the only reality some people have.
So I just realized that today is my 4 year blogiversary. I feel like I’ve been doing this shit forever and a day. There were moments I loved, and there were moments I wish I could just forget. I’m really thankful that I’ve been doing it for this long, and I promise I will try my best to start back on a regular basis. I know I haven’t been blogging like I normally do, but I have a good reason. Well I don’t have a reason other than I just can’t come up with topics like I use to, but I promise I will try my best to get back to it.
Thank you all for being patient with me. I get hit up several times a day about when I’ll start blogging again. Thanks to all the devoted readers who have been there from the beginning. You guys truly motivated me to keep pushing and I thank you. I try to help and guide, but truth be told this writing thing has helped me out as well. Years ago I was boxed in, I couldn’t figure out why I was always put in certain situations when it came to relationships I had no one to help me figure shit out because no one I knew experienced half the shit I experienced. By writing out what was going on it not only helped me to understand, but helped heal a lot of shit that I repressed in my mind. My goal has always been to educated and talk about what women are afraid to speak out loud. The shit we like and don’t like in relationships, life and friendships. My goal has always been to keep it on level 10. No sugar coating, no bullshittin. Sometimes you need tough love to see what your doing wrong.
So again, thank you ladies and gentlemen that read my blog but pretend that you don’t. I love all ya’ll tenderly. Yes I said tenderly.
No matter the culture, religion or race people are ostracized everyday for being gay. They get taunted, teased and beaten for simply just being who they are. It’s like being gay has become a punishment for some. It has to be very difficult at any age having these feelings and being too afraid to say something to anyone for fear of criticism and disappointment. You may have known a little boy growing up who always seemed a little feminine. Or there was this tomboy that always hung around with the fellas and seemed a little rough around the edges. Before knowing anything you might have labeled them as “A gay in training”. What about those who grew up “normal”? They dated a lot, didn’t act differently growing up what happens when they say “Mom and Dad, I’m gay”. Would you reject them or continue to show them your love?
Over the weekend I was talking to someone and we were discussing relationships. He asked me about my opinion on the matter and I told him straight out as I usually do. He just looked at me and said “Not all men are dogs”. It tripped me out because he was actually the second person who said that to me in a week. I actually started to think; do I give out a vibe that I think all men are bitch asses? In the back of my mind I do believe these types of men exists, but when all you meet is the trifling ass dudes your perception of men shift. Then I started to wonder: Ok, so these men exist. Is this how they were raised or they had to be the grimy ass dude first, and then realize that being grimy just isn’t the business?
I believe anyone can change if they really wanted to. If a guy was a straight up slut, I do believe if he wanted to be the right man to the right woman he could definitely do it. He just would have to want it more for himself, than for her. There are some men that just are good men. Someone once told me it’s how a man was raised. I don’t fully agree with that theory. There are men that grew up with a respect for women because of their respect for their mothers. Then there are men that treat women like shit, but still value and respect moms. Same thing goes for men brought up with a father in their lives. I don’t think being a good man can necessarily be thought, but when you have great examples in your life I think you can definitely learn something. At the end of the day everything is up to you. How you treat women, how you respect yourself, how you handle your business.
So now the question on every woman’s lips: Where are all the good one’s hiding? We already established that there are some out there; we just can’t seem to find them. I got news flash ladies; we found them we’re just not focused on them. The same guy I was speaking to said “All women say they want a good man, but when they find one they say he’s boring”. I totally agree with this statement. Most women want a man that brings some sort of excitement into their lives. Majority of the time those are the n*ggas that got drama out the ass. Yes, I am saying that there are some women out there that are just addicted to drama shit. It makes you stay on your toes, it makes you show emotion. That’s what women want, but their looking for it in all the wrong places. Another News Flash: The really good men don’t have all that drama. So if it’s women calling your phone, baby momma slicing your tires, or him not calling you and shit. Well maybe you don’t need a good man. I’M JUST SAYING…
Holla at me: What are your thoughts on Good Men?