I don’t do men with dirty dicks. I just can’t see myself loving up on a dick that can’t be wiped and cleaned properly. Yes, I’m talking about the uncircumcised man. I know it’s not your fault that you weren’t circumcised, but I don’t trust no dick that lies beneath retractable foreskin. If I can’t see your head, you ain’t getting head. There are so many things you have to be cautious about when dealing with a dude that dick doesn’t show all the way.

Ladies, I know you can’t help you you’re attracted to, but if you know ol’ boy doesn’t keep up his appearance, chances are he doesn’t clean behind his dick clean. I remember this guy I was with about 10 years ago was uncircumcised. The first time I saw it I was unaware of how to react. I didn’t know if I should run or I should take out a knife and cut that shit off myself. So me being the person that doesn’t always think before she speaks I said…”What the fuck is up with your dick”? The shit looked like an old man died and left lint droppings on his bud head. Now you know the Chick wasn’t fucking anyone that looked like that shit. At that time I had never actually seen an uncircumcised shaft, so I had so many questions. I wondered if he was good at pleasing women, did women feel eager to give him head, and if he ever thought about getting the shit cut. The first two questions he answered all proud and shit like “Women love my dick, and I don’t have any problems fucking a chick to sleep”. Of course a man would say that shit, he still trying to get me to ride his pole. Then he said “I did think of getting it done, but I heard the pain is crazy”. I would imagine for adults that it would be painful, but wouldn’t you rather have a healthy dick head?

Fellas, I’m not trying to knock the clean dick men that make sure their turtle dicks stay on point. But, ladies gonna know that there are some men out there that just don’t take care of the shit like they’re suppose to. Like pulling back the foreskin to clean under it, or when using a condom you have to pull back the extra skin then put on a condom. If you really must put it in your mouth I have three things to tell you.

1. When giving that thing head, don’t bruk loose on it. What I mean is, don’t suck fuck his dick….suck love his dick. Do it in a gentle way, because since the skin is sensitive you don’t want to cause him unnecessary pain just to get a good BJ.

2. If you do the slow suck love on that dick, please incorporate a hand job in there. Since you’re trying to be cautious with it, slow movement will take him a little too long to climax from.

3. Scrapping your teeth on his shit, will only cause him grief. All that foreskin is just one big clit. You have to treat it right, because it is such a sensitive area on the body.Fellas, I hope I didn’t discourage you from showing your new chick your turtle dick? She might like it, you never know. I just want you to take care of it, because with the health risks and shit, you don’t to infest a young lady with your nastiness. Just so you know I don’t get down with turtle dicks. That’s just my preference.

Holla at me: Ladies, have you ever been with a man that wasn’t circumcised?

Ok, I know I’m not the most relationship savvy chic on the planet, but what draws a woman to a man that has a whole tribe of kids? Am I missing the boat to freedom that states having a man with a bunch of kids makes you the new “IT” chick on the block? I don’t have kids, so maybe I have a lack of understanding. Yea it has to be me, because a woman getting with a man that has over 2 kids for more than 2 women is apparently the shit. Yea I think I’m the one that’s seeing this whole thing negatively.

For instance this whole Lil Wayne saga: He has TWO women currently pregnant and gawd knows how many other kids he got. I’ve lost count. Fuck the fact that he can technically take care of the kids. I’m not getting on that aspect right now. It’s the fact that he has a whole bunch of kids like it’s something to do. I mean come on Wayne…every chick you fuck end up preggers? First off you know that ugly ass negro ain’t wrapping it up with half the women he fuck. So why you’re dumb ass gonna fuck him raw? In my opinion why would you wanna fuck him at all, but hey that’s just me. A man that can start a basketball team with all his kids isn’t cute to me. Hell I got trouble dating a man with one kid, and you expect me to date someone that has a trot of em? Hell naw.

It would be worse if the man that has all these kids is a dead beat dad. Why would you get all these women pregnant and then don’t even take care of your fucking kids? I hate this line “Oh if she needs pampers I bring em”. Dude can your babies eat pampers? Can pampers teach them how to ride a bike, weed out bullshit men out of her life when she becomes older, or treat a woman right? No!!!!!! A child regardless how much of them you have, needs their dad. Come on!!! Your kids never asked to be here. You just thought you would run up in their momma raw and nothing would happen? You know when you fuck anything can happen right? Dumb ass.

You know the minute you have kids for a whole bunch of different women, you done fucked up in life right? Nothing in your life is ever gonna go right with more than one baby momma. You might as well give up on hope because them bitches gonna have your nuts for the rest of your life. If you think having one baby momma was drama, imagine three. The biggest problem you’re gonna face with a baby momma is that you’re not treating her child like the others. I don’t care what no one says, there is no way you treat each child equally. Each child is different and has to be handled different, but if you decided to go to the hood looking for your future baby momma you gonna have a problem. I see fights, flat tires, and child support in your future.

Ok, this is for the single ladies that get with these men. True he might be a nice guy, and he might take care of all 8 of his kids, but where do you fall into this equation? First off, the kids aren’t gonna respect you. 1)You’re not their momma, you’re just the girlfriend 2) With all them kids he might be paying child support out the ass 3) You’re always gonna be target for all the BM’s he got. Even though they say they don’t want his trifling ass, they still would beat a hoe down for that man. 4) You know there is a great chance he still fucking at least one of them. 5) Last but not least: If you don’t be careful you’re ass is gonna end up a statistic. You know he has mighty sperm and you still fuck without caution. Smh.

I’m not bringing down men with kids, just men with a whole bunch of baby momma’s. Fellas, do you just try and try again until you find one that cooperates? Single ladies wrap it up, because if you’re fucking with a man like Wayne that fool can just look at you with his Helo Monsta eyes and get you knocked up. Or simply……..Run bitch Run.

Sex is like a car accident; if you see people engaged in it you try to turn away, but you cant. It’s like a sick force that holds onto you, and forces you to watch. With that being said, if you decide to have sexual relations in public someone catches you, please don’t be shocked. Chances are you did it in hopes you get caught.

While out with my friends last weekend, I saw the most interesting thing. We were in our usual spot with one of our favorite bouncers listening to the music. One of my homegirls decided to take a seat, because she couldn’t stand in her heels for a long period of time. *Cheap shoes can get do that… I kid. I kid* Anyway, she tapped me and signaled me to look to the left of her, when I did I saw this chick dancing really hard on this guy. Now mind you, these two people actually didn’t know each other. I saw when he came over and tried to dance with her and at first she said no, but I guess after a while she gave in.

At first I just thought that she was grinding on him while he sat in the chair, what happened next shocked the shit out of me. When she was grinding/bouncing on him I realize she wasn’t dancing, she was actually dick riding. I quickly got the attention of my other friends and told them what the hell was going on. To make things more freakier, he starting finger fucking her. I just couldn’t believe my virgin eyes, at the sight before me. They really didn’t care that we where right there like right there watching them have sex in the club. I know Usher made a whole song about it, but damn I didn’t think folks were gonna take the shit so literal. Even the bouncer said at one point the guy was eating her coochie. I’m sorry, I am bold but not that damn bold to have my cooch and everything else exposed in the club.

I was appalled at this behavior, especially because the club was too dark and my phone didn’t have enough light to capture it on video. Yea I tried to tape it and share it with you guys. lol. Hey read the title of this blog “If You Do It In Public, I Will Watch”! What you thought I was joking? Lmao…