Sometimes anyone with baggage in my opinion can be a waste of time. I don’t mean to be like that, but what’s the benefit of getting involved in a baggage situation? True enough, he may be a nice guy or she may be a cool chick, but at the end of the day his/her drama shouldn’t have to be your situation. Shit does happen sometimes, but it isn’t fair to expect someone from the outside to just deal with it. If you followed the show “The Game” you should know these two characters in the pic; Derwin and Jenay. They were once in a relationship, but he ended it because he was still in love with his ex Melanie. While Derwin tried to get Mel back and was successful in doing so, Jenay found out she was pregnant. Melanie was now put in an awkward position; should she stay or should she go?
I’m not gonna lie when I tell you, a similar thing happened to me. I was in a relationship with someone and we broke up. We both started seeing other people, but somehow found our way back to each other. Then he found out the girl he was with when we stopped seeing each other, was now pregnant. Now being a man he knew that this shit was gonna make me fly off the handle, but he knew he had to tell me. The moment he told me, my heart sank. It felt like someone ran my ass over with a damn truck. I cried, cussed, and cried again. I was now put into an odd position. Even though I had my man back, I still lost him. There would be a bond stronger than him and I; they were going to be a “family”.There was someone else carrying his first child, something that would bond them for the rest of their lives.
I can honestly say I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to give up on what we had, but I didn’t want to see him grow softer and softer as she got bigger and bigger. I never blamed the child; I just didn’t like the dilemma I was in. My friends all said “Well you weren’t together, when he was with her” but I didn’t care. That didn’t make a difference to me. Our relationship wasn’t supposed to end up that way. I stayed against my better judgment, then as the months went by I saw my relationship slipping away. Whenever she called him, he was there. I commended him on doing what he had to do, but at the same time it just wasn’t fair. As the months past, the joy became visible on his face and the sadness was invisible in mine, because I acted like I wasn’t affected. I decided to end it before the baby was born, because I knew once the child came into the world it would be a wrap. He accused me of being selfish, but I think he was the selfish one for wanting me to stay tied to that mess. I had to leave.
I’m saying all of this to say, if you’re a similar situation that leaving might be your best bet. I had to do what was right for me, so you have to do what’s in your best interest. If you can sustain your relationship, I tip my hat to you. That takes a strong person to deal with all of that. Like I said, sometimes shit happens and it takes a real person to make things work as it comes along. You may have a great guy that loves you and wants to make it work. He actually keeps the relationship with his child’s mom on a parental basis. Or you may have that guy that’s with you, but still fucking his baby momma every time he picks Jr. up on the weekends. You gotta know what’s right for your heart, and your relationship. If you can’t hang, get out. Don’t invest more time knowing that your soul can’t take it, because if you do you’re really being selfish to yourself.
