I swear some people just jump into other relationships for the shear purpose of not being alone. You get into another relationship claiming your over your last, but on the low you’re still jumping into your ex’s bed. There is no way you can move forward if your vagina is still stuck on the former tenant. Getting over a past relationship is a very emotional task. Love can’t just go away because you’re no longer capable of being involved with that person. Things like that take time. The issue is getting involved in another relationship while you’re still emotionally torn is just plain ol messy. Why would you allow yourself to hurt someone who has nothing to do with your drama, when you know good and damn well the past isn’t really the past?
“A system cannot fail those it was never meant to protect.” – W.E.B. Du Bois
Truer words have never been spoken. Our babies are dying in the streets. Our black men are dying in the streets.Yesterday a killer Darren Wilson was basically given a pat on the back for killing an innocent black boy Mike Brown. A young kid who just graduated from high school, someone’s child. Someone who he shot in cold blood in front of a neighborhood, yet he wasn’t indicted for malice murder. As a black woman from the Caribbean now living in this America I’ve learned one thing, the system wasn’t designed for us. The justice system was created for and by OTHERS. Our black babies aren’t safe, and I’m worried. Hell I’m a tax paying homeowner and I can be shot down like a dog at any given moment by a white person that considers my ass a “threat”.
I always wonder about goes through a man’s mind when it comes to relationships. Do they even care as much as women do? As the clock ticks and the years go by do they look back on the choices they made in past relationships and wish they did it differently? How has age affected them and are they ok and content with the state of their lives now that they’re no longer 20 something? I decided to interview 5 guys in various states of relationships. I asked a series of 8 questions and it’s interesting to read the answers. The faces have been protected for obvious reasons…I don’t want ya’ll to see your man’s face and get mad and shit.
1. How long have you been married, and do you feel like you married the right woman?
Approaching 11 years. When I popped the question, I knew it! Now… it’s questionable. And it’s mutual. We both have at times questioned whether we married the “right” person. Over time, some things change… people change… and also… they don’t. You marry a person for who they are at that point in time. Depending on that point in life, they may be settled into the person they are eventually going to be, or they may still be developing into that person. And you either expect that they will remain the person you married (because you think they are just PERFECT!) or you expect that there will be growth because you see room for improvement (because you feel the love you have is stronger than the fact that they are NOT PERFECT). Or there could be a combination of both. But nobody’s perfect so (in the words that err body like to use today) “At the end of the day” , you just have to decide if it’s worth sticking it out whether they are exactly “right” or not.
2. As a man of a particular age in a marriage, do some of the same issues you experienced while dating still come up in your marriage?
Maybe a little, but not really… marriage brings along it’s own set of issues that supersede the dating issues.
3. As you get older are you a little less tolerant to drama within your relationship?
By the DAY!! And it’s more than just a little. No man ever wants to deal with drama in the relationship in the first place(contrary to popular belief), so whatever drama he puts up with in the beginning needs to decrease as time in the relationship goes on. It should be like the interest on an amortized loan where it dwindles over time.
4. What’s keeping your marriage going? The genuine love we have for each other.
5. What do you think a women need to understand about men before they decide to walk down the aisle?
Women need to understand that they can’t look for a man to fit into their life, they need to decide if they can fit into his life and not loose herself. Ladies, you can NOT change a REAL man so stop trying. If this nigga ain’t already 90% of what you want in a man, he ain’t the one and you can’t make him the one.
6. As you look back on life were there any women from your past that you wish you had done things differently?
Yes, but that is a very open ended question. I could go many ways with that one. HA!
7. If you had the opportunity to give your 20 year old self advice about life and relationships, what would it be?
It would be to wait even longer than I did before deciding to get married. Going along with what I said in #1, the older you get the more you settle into who you are going to be. Over time you come to realize things that you really need or don’t need in your relationship. The younger you are, the more chance there is for those things to change and/or develop. This is how it’s possible for people to wake up one day in a long term relationship and realize they don’t know the person they are in the relationship with. But this doesn’t mean you won’t end up with the same person because if it was meant to be it would be, just without all the growing pains that could sour what would have been so sweet.
8. Do you think age and experience played a major role in the man you are today? Why or Why Not?
But of course! Age and experience are the best teachers. You live and you learn(hopefully!). “The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.” ~Muhammad Ali
You’ve been asked out on a date by the guy you’ve had your eye on for a while. Not only is he attractive; he’s funny, a great conversationalist and his his voice makes parts of your body tingle with excitement. The first date was so magical he asks you out on a second. While on the second date the nervousness subsides and you start having more personal conversation. In the middle of getting to know each other better he hits you with something you never expected. Mr. Too Good To Be True tells you that he actually has a roommate Not just any roommate…A Female Roommate. Where do you take it from there? Do you continue seeing this man who seems to be everything you wanted or do you automatically count him out because he has everyday access to possible live-in snatch?
It’s so “cute” how women call men thirsty when they open their mouths to pay them a compliment, but when they see a good-looking man who ain’t bout shit their standards drop and their tongues are left wagging. Yesterday the photo above went viral, and got a lot of crazy reactions from women with the lowest of standards. He may look like a Calvin Klein model but the brotha has a wrap sheet a mile long. This is actually his mugshot photo that got all these broads all hot and bothered.
The man behind all the thirst is Jeremy Meeks. A convicted felon who was recently charged with multiple felonies. Meeks has been called “one of the most violent criminals in the Stockton area” according to Officer Joseph Silva, yet this is the man folks are going bat shit crazy over? Leave it up to the thirst driven thots on the internet to bypass the CRIMINAL WHO IS ON $900,000 BAIL for doing a bunch of ILLEGAL shit and only focus on his face. One woman said “He can rob my house and assault me anytime”. Really? This really shows how many women are out here making bad relationship choices because they bypass/ignore all the horrible shit if the man has a cute face and a big dick. Don’t get me wrong, dude is cute but crime isn’t so miss me with all that mess.
I know about 70% of the women on twitter and Facebook combined would let him hit raw if he walked up to them knowing his criminal history. Then they want to complain they can’t find a good man. How can you if all you focus on is how a man’s blue eyes and high cheek bones glisten behind the visitor’s glass in the prison? This is the reason why so many women are single because they go after the f*ck boys then get mad when they get f*cked over by said f*ck boy. How low are your standards really? The fact that this convict is getting all this shine for his looks and damn near all the media outlets are bypassing his actual charges is just crazy in my opinion. Hell, a news crew went to the prison and interviewed him about his recent shot to “fame”. It’s sad on his part honestly, because he really does have the looks to make it as a male model, but I guess five weapons charges and one gang charge seemed like the best professional route to go. Smh
Ya’ll can call me a hater, but I just don’t find criminals sexy enough to remove my panties. Hell if I find out you got arrested in 2001 for a traffic violation, I’m walking away. I don’t do the Bonnie and Clyde shit.
Question: Would you bypass a man’s criminal activities just because he’s attractive?
The one thing that hinders us in life is losing ourselves. The person who you’ve grown to become is now unsure of who she is and her purpose. Now imagine losing yourself while in a relationship. Putting other’s opinions “suggestions” ahead of your own. Allowing their notions about your life, stop you from being who you’ve always been…YOU. It’s so easy to divert from who you are when starting out a new relationship. You take the constant ideas and suggestions of your partner, not realizing that you’re changing to suit their needs. Losing who you’ve always been to a person you no longer recognize. Losing yourself not only affect your “relationship” but your entire life.