People tend to make situations harder than they need to be. It’s a part of life to fall in and out of love. Sometimes relationships have a shelf life that just can’t be ignored. No matter how you feel or how much you care for someone, if it wasn’t meant to work at that time it wasn’t meant to work. The issue that many face is when a relationship ends without any indication…with so many unanswered questions. When someone just walks out of your life and you have no idea why or even what went wrong. This is when you’re left confused because the other person didn’t have the courage or even the balls to tell you why it’s over. Your more upset about the way they did it rather than why they decided to end it. You require closure. You need to finally put a nail in the coffin and move on, but if there is no closure you’re always left wondering…WHY?
I am thoroughly sick of these women releasing their power to these n*ggas and yes I said n*ggas that don’t give a promise of a fuck. They treat em however they want and these chicks get down on their knees and beg these men for love. I blame women for this shit. Men do what you allow them to do and the second you give him everything, he turns around and gives you nothing. You make this man your world and fight him on a daily basis to acknowledge your existence. Then you cry on a daily basis and use these low self-esteem ass tears to gain sympathy. Like if you cry and beg just enough he will treat you better. These men don’t give a damn about your tears or your heart, but you release all the power in your body to make him feel like you truly love him. Chile please.
Mimi has got to be the dumbest bitch ever to receive dick from a man. *sigh* Sorry I had to get that out, please excuse me. So last night the highly anticipated season premier of Love & Hip-Hop Atl debuted and chill the shit still hitting the fan. Of course there is the drama that we missed, but my simple ass thought that this love triangle with Joseline Hernandez, Stevie J and Mimi Faust was over. I mean Mimi this man disrespected the shit out of you on tv in front of millions. Made you look stupid as fuck, well you actually made yourself look stupid as fuck and we all thought that things were gonna change this season. Man I ain’t never been so wrong in my life. This situation made me think of all the women who get played like an atrac and still stay with this person for whatever reason. No matter how he has disrespected, cheated, lied and flaunted another bitch in your face. You still stay cause your self-esteem is shot and you think you rather have a half of a man than no man at all.
I just love to hear men give their honest opinions about this thing called relationships. So I was put on to this video series “Gentlemen Uncensored”on one of my favorite sites Madamenoire.com. It’s GROWN AZZ men discussing sex, relationships and marriage. You know I am here for it. I always want to know what goes through the male mind when it comes to these topics, and I guess the good people of Madamenoire.com heard my cry.
The panel consists of 6 men with different relationship perspectives. You have Harold “The Youngin”, DJ CEO “Mr. Complicated”, Carlos “The Divorce’ “, Ainsley “The Non-Commiter”, TMor “The Married Man” and Chris Kazi Rolle “The Convo Starter”.
Check out episode 1 of Gentlemen Uncensored: Why Did I Get Married. You can check out moreepisodeson their page over at Madamenoire, theiryoutubechannel and “like” their Facebook page . I’m positive you will get an eye opening experience when you watch the videos.
So yesterday we covered the plight of the cheating man. You guys had a lot to say about the interview on the site and off. Today is part 2 of the interviews, and now we have a different scenario This interview was done with a woman who was formally in a cheating relationship with a married man. Yes, I said a married man. This interview works as the first one did…anonymously. I wanted to show a difference in how the “other person” thinks in this type of situation.
Am I the only person that has ever been in a relationship that I no longer gave a f*ck about? Like, if he wanted to get some from some dumb soul I would give him a pack of condoms and send him on his way? Yea that might sound harsh to some of you, but that’s just how it be sometimes. Initially you like the person, you get into a relationship and 2 months later you can’t stand their ass. You only stay in the relationship because you like feeling a body next to you. You’re basically going through the motions. You may want to end it for many reasons, but do you try to rekindle the relationship or kick the lame to the curb?
I’ve realized that a lot of couples never speak about this topic. When women hear the word submissive they immediately give the “The motherf*cker must be crazy” side eye. I will admit the thought of given into submission is kinda of archaic, but if your man/husband is doing what he needs to do as the man of the relationship…why not?
You talk about “your man” this and “your man” that, but when it comes to Valentine’s Day you don’t go anywhere or do anything. He gives you an excuse like “I gotta work late” or he stops by on February 13th to drop off your flowers and Walgreens chocolates and your eyes light up. You call him on Valentine’s Day to no avail. Later on that night you call his phone again and get the voice mail You assume he forgot his charger and will call you when his shift ends. Honey I hate to break the news to you, but while your at home munching on the stale ass $2.00 chocolates “your man” is out with his woman. You my dear are known as the side chick and it seems that you haven’t figured it out yet. On Valentine’s Day side chicks gets a bad wrap. Your in a relationship and he’s not, but obviously your too into him to see he’s not into you…like that.
It’s ok, to be the side chick someone has to assume the role. I just need ya’ll to remember your positions. Most men reserve this day for the main woman in their life. The one who knows him inside and out. The one who’s been there when he had nothing. Your the chick he met at the club, you let him hit and have been seeing him in the comfort of your apartment ever since. There is nothing to be ashamed of, I just want those of you out there to understand what this is and act accordingly. This man made “holiday” brings out the evil in some women. You got the bitter lonely women saying “Fuck Valentine’s Day…I’m so lonely I can die.” You got the women who are seeing someone, but not exclusively saying “I want to spend time with him, but he didn’t ask me to do anything. WTF is that about?” Then you got the women who think they’re in a relationship saying “Yea girl I called him, but he isn’t answering his phone. Maybe he’s gonna surprise me after work.” You never hear from that motherfucker until 10:30 am on February 15th with a ton of excuses why he didn’t see you yesterday. Don’t let your status leave you bitter. Wouldn’t you rather someone to show you genuine love all year round rather than on one day? I mean getting a card and shit is nice I guess, but anybody can give yo ass a card. Shit I remember once someone bought me flowers, within 10 mins a strong ass wind come through the house and blew the vase on the ground. In my opinion that was a sign that those flowers weren’t given to me by a genuine heart. If you can’t show me the love I need on a normal day, keep that Valentine’s shit.
So side pieces, now that you’ve realized just who you are in his life you need to either stop complaining or make a change. I know it’s hard to get away from good dick. Let’s face it, that’s about the only thing his ass really gives to you. I know it’s hard getting away from good dick, but if you rather be with someone that can not only love you when the lights are out then you need to change your situation. I’m not saying you gotta find someone and get boo’d up before the next Valentine’s Day rolls around, because there is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. I’m saying make sure you know where you stand in his life. If your content with being the chick on the side, then bitch do you. If not, then well bid that fool adieu.
Over the weekend I was talking to someone and we were discussing relationships. He asked me about my opinion on the matter and I told him straight out as I usually do. He just looked at me and said “Not all men are dogs”. It tripped me out because he was actually the second person who said that to me in a week. I actually started to think; do I give out a vibe that I think all men are bitch asses? In the back of my mind I do believe these types of men exists, but when all you meet is the trifling ass dudes your perception of men shift. Then I started to wonder: Ok, so these men exist. Is this how they were raised or they had to be the grimy ass dude first, and then realize that being grimy just isn’t the business?
I believe anyone can change if they really wanted to. If a guy was a straight up slut, I do believe if he wanted to be the right man to the right woman he could definitely do it. He just would have to want it more for himself, than for her. There are some men that just are good men. Someone once told me it’s how a man was raised. I don’t fully agree with that theory. There are men that grew up with a respect for women because of their respect for their mothers. Then there are men that treat women like shit, but still value and respect moms. Same thing goes for men brought up with a father in their lives. I don’t think being a good man can necessarily be thought, but when you have great examples in your life I think you can definitely learn something. At the end of the day everything is up to you. How you treat women, how you respect yourself, how you handle your business.
So now the question on every woman’s lips: Where are all the good one’s hiding? We already established that there are some out there; we just can’t seem to find them. I got news flash ladies; we found them we’re just not focused on them. The same guy I was speaking to said “All women say they want a good man, but when they find one they say he’s boring”. I totally agree with this statement. Most women want a man that brings some sort of excitement into their lives. Majority of the time those are the n*ggas that got drama out the ass. Yes, I am saying that there are some women out there that are just addicted to drama shit. It makes you stay on your toes, it makes you show emotion. That’s what women want, but their looking for it in all the wrong places. Another News Flash: The really good men don’t have all that drama. So if it’s women calling your phone, baby momma slicing your tires, or him not calling you and shit. Well maybe you don’t need a good man. I’M JUST SAYING…
“Bag lady you gone miss your bus. You can’t hurry up. Cause you got too much stuff.When they see you comin. N*ggas take off runnin. From you it’s true oh yes they do”
Are you a bag lady? Dragging all your bags from past relationships into new ones? Can’t let go of the hurt, anger, fear or disappointment you experienced in the past? Afraid to love again, because the last time you decided to do that shit you got your heart shattered into a million pieces? If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, you my dear are a bag lady. You’re ruining your future by focusing on your past. You’re running from the possibility of love. So when are you gonna set those damn bags down and stop running from it?
The contents of this blog is intended for entertainment purposes only and reflects some aspects of my personal experiences. Any opinions expressed through commentary are only my thoughts and personal views. All quoted material is credited to its original source. I do not claim ownership of any copyrighted photos or materials. To my knowledge it is being used in compliance with the copyright law. If you are the copy holder of anything I used on this site, please feel free to email me at the email address provided on this site.
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