At one time or another everyone *well I don’t know about everyone* has had a physical relationship with someone they considered a friend. You know friends with benefits. You got that itch you need scratch and you call good ol Bob over to occupy your vagina for a few hours then go home. No emotions, no cuddling and no talking just two friends f*cking and calling it a night. Yea it always seems that simple until the second you get comfortable in whatever you consider that situation to be, and some shit happens that changes the whole dynamic. Now your no strings attached relationship all of a sudden has some very visible strings. So are you just hiding your strings in a or do they develop once the sex happens?
What’s your definition of
good GREAT sex? Everyone’s answers might be different, but the goal is the same. Great sex is the type of sex that makes you want to put everything in that motherfucker’s name. Lol iKid. The dick so damn good that you would get up at 2 am in the dead of winter and run outside to turn on his car so it can heat up for his ass. Great sex is the type of sex that make you say “fuck them bitches” when your girlfriends call you to go out to the club. Great sex is the type of sex that has your legs wobbling, sweat dripping off your titty and new hair do gone to hell but you still suck his dick as a fucking “thank you” just for being fucking you. When a man knows how to do it just right it can make every sex session feel like damn Thanksgiving.
There is nothing sexier than some of that bomb emotionally charged sex. The type of sex where you put all your strength into it to achieve the might ass orgasm you so desperately crave. It’s not all slow kisses and light touching. It’s hair pulling, ass spanking and grunting if the shit feels right. This kind of loving isn’t for the weak bodied individuals. You have to be able to show your kinky side in order to enjoy the beauty that is kink. What if you’re not into such activities but your man loves it? When your about to have sex he becomes sexually controlling. Telling what to do, being a little aggressive maybe even whispering dirty shit in your ear in a stern yet sexy voice. If you weren’t into that kind of kink but you love him; could you stay?
Like I said before, not everyone is into that kind of lovin. You have to be willing to give up a little control and go with the flow. Not saying you have to allow him to disrespect you in any kind of way, but you do have to be open. The first time I experienced this type of situation I was scared shitless. Not that I was scared or anything, I was unsure what the hell I was supposed to do. He was forceful and I was timid. He picked up up and plopped me on the bed. I’m looking around because I wasn’t sure if I should be concerned, kick him in the balls and run for the door or moan in ecstasy. I was so used to that dry sex shit, I was unschooled in the ways of sexual control. When he started and I started loosening up I was actually more turned on than I thought I could be. I allowed myself to be a little more open and allowed him to have control. Every stroke felt deeper than the last. His hands in my hair tugging at it with medium pressure. Listen here; I thought I was going to explode. It was like a sexual awakening. I was no longer just having sex because it was something I thought I was suppose to do. That night I was having sex for the intense pleasure and it was wonderful. I allowed myself to open up and try it once. If I wasn’t into it, I would tell him that it wasn’t something I wanted to do on a regular basis. If he failed to acknowledge the fact that I wasn’t down, then no more for me.
The point is you can’t knock something, you’ve failed to try. Obviously you have limits and boundaries you might not want to cross, and that could be easily explained. Like I don’t care how playful we are you will not slap my face. Fuck that shit if you slap me even lightly protect your nuts cause they’re the first thing I’m attacking. I don’t give any type of fux how intense the shit is, if you slap me we got a got damn problem. I make that shit clear from jump, because I know what I’m not comfortable doing. Getting back to the sex, this can bring a different energy to your love making. Some couples are so bored with the regular missionary style and they’re afraid to venture out. If he loves it and you don’t let him know. If he refuses to compromise with you, then handle it how you see fit. If you love it and want more of it, but he’s reluctant let him know. Some chicks want to be choked and scared as shit to open their mouths and say something. By the by…please use a safety word. Don’t want ya’ll passing out in the middle of the dick and shit.
Holla at me: Have you ever been in a sexually controlled relationship? Were you the controller or the controlle?
Ok, so I understand sometimes in the moment of passion things don’t always go as planned. Maybe the position you’re in isn’t the most comfortable and you have to stop for a second to make sure your leg isn’t asleep. You’re having sex with your girlfriend and low and behold out of nowhere your wife shows up. Hell maybe you’re in the middle of getting the best dick of your life and where comes your 5 year old walking in on mommy getting throttled by the maintenance man. Yea there are some mishaps that can happen during a night of deep penetration, but just imagine in the first five minutes of said penetration his dick muscles deflate. You’re left looking at this man like “Why in the hell did I allow your simple ass dick loving into my perfectly precious puss?” Instantly when a man disappoints us sexually in bed we automatically look at him like he’s the scum of the earth. Then he says something to try make himself look less like Quick Draw Mcgraw “Damn girl your shit was so damn good look what you made me do.” So he’s trying to make you feel better about your pussy game by telling you, you’re shit is just that damn good. Ok yea it may be that good, but every time he gets close to it he let’s go of a load? Is it ok for him to be too turned on by you or is he just too quick with you?
So I’m wondering if I’m the only person that noticed this; a woman would bust it wide open on the first date, but if he asks for head she looks at him like he’s out of his mind and says “HELL NO” in her loudest voice. It’s interesting that women would do all kinds of freaky shit when she first starts having sex with a man, but feels that giving oral is just too far. A man can do her all day long and she has no issues with it, but don’t dare ask her to return the favor. So it makes me believe a woman values head over her own vagina.
Instructions: Where ever you are I want you to shout..”I’ve slept with ___ number of men/women and I don’t care who knows it”. Go on; be proud of that two digit number. LOL. I’m just jiving ya’ll, but I have found that this is the most lied about convo at the start of a relationship.When you hear the question”How many people have you had sex with”? a boldface lie just comes out of nowhere. We lie for different reasons. Women lie because they don’t want to be thought of as a hoe. Men lie because they want to put up a front that they’re not the playa type so they can reel the chick in. Either way the real digits aren’t coming out. Should we just embrace our numbers and shout it from the roof tops, or should we continue to embellish the truth so we look holy in their eyes?
Fellas…Fellas…Fellas. You’ve been had, bamboozled, Runamuck. Ever since you started having sex, chicks have been lying to you. Telling you tales to stroke that fragile ego of yours, and you never caught on. That pussy was never yours, in the moment of passion you’ve been told what you wanted to hear and you fell for it like a chump. It’s ok, how could you have known? You think you’re giving her the best pipe you ever laid on a bitch and assumed that she’s dickmatized and freely gave you ownership to the pussy? Nope, doesn’t really work like that. In the heat of the moment, a woman will tell you anything to make you feel good about what you’re doing even if it’s good or bad.
It’s hilarious if you think about it, in the bedroom a man/woman says whatever they can to make the sex a little more enjoyable. When he asks “Who’s pussy is this?” and she says “I love you, do you love me?” everybodies lying because the wrong answer can stop the sex completely. What do you think would happen if a man asked that question and a woman answered “This pussy is not and will never be yours to have. This belongs to Craig Craigerson, and you sir are just using it until he comes home from work.” Your dick will deflate faster than Nicki Minaj’s ass cheeks. Now if you ask her that question and she says “Yes daddy this is your pussy. It only purrs for you” the first thing you’re gonna do is thrust harder because your dick heard a compliment. I remember a situation I had with a guy I dated a few years ago, I mean the dick was good but I owned my cooch. Well one night we were in the middle of that action and he ASKED me to call him Daddy. Listen here, I don’t call no damn man daddy not even my own but the penetration was feeling rather delicious. So I took one for the team and I said those gross ass words. Of course his ass had the energy of 3o thousand slaves after that, worked me until I couldn’t take it anymore. I was so drained I laid in the same position for 20 mins…stain spot and all and the pussy STILL WASN’T HIS. I just let him assume the shit.
Fellas, we tell you certain things purely for your benefit. Sure we might reap the rewards, but if we didn’t lie to you in the first place would you really put in the effort? Keep on leading them astray ladies, I guess that’s one of the only ways they can spring that good dick on you. A little white lie never hurt anyone. Great sex and lies go hand in hand. Now if the dick is sour and just gawd awful then fuck it. Tell that negro to get off of you and go home. Ya’ll know I don’t condone nasty, disrespectful, don’t know which end is up sex.
*Crosses legs* Is it just me or do ya’ll think about sex on a daily basis? Well maybe every hour, ok ok every second for me. Yes I got a problem, but I think this is pretty normal. You’re human and sex will be on the brain. Shit it’s the only time when your mind is free from worry and all you have is that good stroke to bring out the pleasure. Although some of ya’ll are too afraid to admit it, ya’ll have sexual cravings. It’s ok girl it’s only us in here. You can admit it. There is just some things that a man can do that can just make you go crazy and start oozing all over yourself. I’ve came up with 5 things that make the women folk go ape shit when it comes to the bedroom antics. Fellas please take note; a woman may not tell you what her ass wants so I’ve been elected to do so.
Dead ass dick just isn’t the business. Fellas that shit is a straight turn off. I’m not saying you gotta walk like a champion every time we get done with the get down. It is possible to have one off night, but when it becomes a constant then we got an issue. It makes you look stupid, and it makes me burst out in laughter. A grown ass man shouldn’t have to suffer that kind of mental abuse. Men use so many different excuses when it comes to the reason their little buddy won’t stand at attention. Just stop blaming others and just realize your dick has malfunctioned, its dead, no longer living, gone to glory.
The first time I ever saw this happen, was back in college. I had a small crush on this guy and we started getting familiar with each other. So we decided to make the magic happen and while in the middle of it, this kneegroid conked out. At first I thought “Hmm well this feels different” then he stops and pulls out. I looked down at it, and was repulsed by what I saw. The thing looked like a turtle that went back in his shell. This was the first time I had sex since my high school sweetheart so I was perplexed about the goings on. So as I sat there in amazement, this fool actually started talking to his weed whacker. I kid you not; this man was sitting there talking to it. He told his dick “You’re embarrassing me. Please get up.” I didn’t know if I should laugh or give this dude a karate chop. So I said what women in my position have said for centuries; I laughed then said “It’s ok, it happens to everyone” News Flash: It doesn’t happen to everyone and it is a big deal. That was the first and the last time I fucked with Dead Dick Deon.
I wish I could say that was the last dead dick I experienced but it wasn’t. I actually had a relationship with someone that couldn’t get it up AT ALL. Well, I don’t really care to bring back the painful memories I endured. I think it should be a requirement to tell a woman that your dick is deader than Superhead’s pussy walls. Let it be up to her to decide if she wants to fuck with you or not. Chances are she won’t even give you her fake cell phone number. If you’re having a constant problem staying erect, you may want to see a doctor cause that shit just isn’t normal. Oh and please don’t blame it on the woman, or the fact that you neglected to take your Flintstone vitamins or whatever other excuse you have. You own your dick…so whatever issues you have is on you. You can’t bust a nut with a soft sac. Get it together!
Holla at me: Have you ever experienced a man that dick dried when the wind blew left?
I know sex is important with any budding relationship. Hell if the dick ain’t no good, I don’t pass go. What if you met someone that you had a connection with and the first time you let him hit his dick sucked. Your bodies weren’t in sync, his penis could barely stand at attention and he kept missing the right hole. *Which ever hole tickles your fancy* The first time never really seems to pan out the way we expected. Sometimes nerves can get the best of them and make a night that should have been ecstasy filled, turn into a night where your pussy got assaulted by a foreign dick. So would you just kick “Dead Dick Desmond” out of your bed never to let his dick darken your door again? Our would you give him a second chance to see if it was just nerves or just him?
I believe in second chances when it comes to sex. If I like you and we’re hitting it off on a real level kind of way, when we go there and it’s not up to par I would hit it again…just to make sure. I learned some men have performance anxiety. They think of the sex so much to the point where they choke at performance time. It’s not always there fault…well maybe it is but never tell them that. I give it another shot because you never know the second time you might be in rhythm with each other and your back gets blown da fuck out. You just can’t judge off the first piece of dick you were given. Maybe he had a hard day at the job and his dick is stuck on his 9-5. You just never know, so don’t be too quick to judge.
I remember I once had sex with a guy that I was talking to, but when we had sex for the first time I was in shock and awe. The sex was horrible and I told him flat out “I ain’t never having sex with you again.” I thought his dick game was gonna be vicious but I guess I was wrong. His penis was all over the place. He was making all kinds of unnecessary noises and I swear this man fucked a pillow for a good 3 mins thinking it was me. Lol, but I digress. The fact was before the sex I really liked him. I was not gonna let one bad night of it ruin a good potential. So I decided to give it another go. Not right away, but I gave it a little time before I let him play in my wonderland again. So the second time I went in with minimal expectations. If his dick sucked a second time there was no way I could continue this situation. Although I liked him, if we had no sexual chemistry then what was the point of an actual relationship? So I took a deep breath and went there and to be honest, the second time around was actually a surprise to me. This dude was on point…made me nut a few times. I was knocked out by the end of our session. I came to the conclusion that his nerves got him on the first go round.
So ladies, never count a man out on the first try. Sometimes his nerves just get the best of him. I realize that with some men if they’re really feeling you and it’s about that time, they get nervous that they won’t live up to your standards. Sad, but true. If you really like him gave him that chance to prove you wrong. You never know you might be surprised that he can put it down. If you do it a second time and it’s just the pits, baybaay um that’s up to you chile. They say third times the charm, but um yea that’s your call. I won’t put myself through another disappointing dick excursion.
Holla at me: *In my Massengill commercial voice* Have you ever had sex that was…not too fresh?