MUST READ: Do Black Men Really Hate Black Women? *Vintage*

interracial relationship

There has been a lot of talk recently about these “Youtube Prophets “claiming that the reason black women are alone is because they ran the black man away. Black women are “egotistical women who raise no good children”. Basically all black women are bitches and wonder why we lose our men to women of other races. This is the dumbest pile of shit I have ever heard in my life. There are black men walking around hating black women because we want them to be the best they can be. They stereotype all sistas to be “neck snapping, gum chewing weave wearing hoes” that only want to dominate a man and bring him down. I got news for you angry black men NOT ALL BLACK WOMEN WANT TO DRAIN YOUR BLACK ASS.


I’ve been accused on several occasions for being a man basher. Some people read my blogs and take it as if I am hating on all men out here because of my past. I have never ever ever judged all men based off of the men I have encountered. I know there are a lot of good men out here and a lot of n*ggas that are bullshit artists.  The fact that these “Youtube Prophets” are taking feminism and using it as the reason black women are destroying Black America is just crazy. The last time I checked we weren’t the only one’s that came over on that boat. If you think there is a demise in Black America you need to look at both parties.

As black women, we are constantly stereotyped on television and in reality as angry women that can never keep a man. Who jumps from loser to loser trying to find the man with the fattest pockets. We rather get our hair done than attend PTA meetings at our kids schools. We think with our coochie rather than our brains. We fight other bitches over n*ggas that don’t even want us. Black women can never work together because there will always be jealously. We rock the name brand shit while our kids don’t have don’t have enough food to eat. These are just some of the stereotypes associated with black women. The sad reality is that there are women out there that do a lot of these things, but not all women think or act this way. We get a bum wrap because the black man is tired of blaming “The Man” for keeping him down. First the white man had his foot on his neck, now black women has her acrylic nails on his back. Who are you going to blame next???

Then they talk about black men dating outside their race, and how the second he can get away from the black man he takes it and runs. The white woman is looking for a “man” where as we as black women look for “little boys”.  At the end of the day I don’t care who dates who. I’m all about if you’re interested in someone for who they are and you fall in love that’s all that matters. Love doesn’t give a damn how much melanin you have in your blood. With that being said let me break some shit down in the same breath. There are a lot of powerful men going after white women because they feel to be accepted they must have a white woman on their arm. Once they hit a certain social or political status they need to upgrade to something more “presentable”. If he was working a 9-5 at a damn factory most white women wouldn’t even give him the time of day. I’m not saying all white women are gold diggers, but there are a few in every race. Whoever you chose to be with is your business, but going to another race because you’ve basically stereotype all black women to be gold digging ghetto bitches is just racism within racism.

According to the prophets, if a woman is “independent” she’s a woman who thinks she doesn’t need a man. I’ve voiced my opinion in a previous blog  “Single…Black…Confusedwhere I discussed where some women are confusing being single as being independent.  They’re looking at everyday actions as an accomplishment rather than just being a single woman. For instance “I pay my own bills”…the last time I checked that’s what single people are supposed to do. Once you’re in a relationship where you’re bringing something to the table and he’s bring something to the table you’re both are dependent on each other. Being independent doesn’t mean shit when you’re single. The fact is there are women who are single and can’t get a man because “they’ve been single too long”. I had a discussion with someone a few weeks ago and he said the older a woman gets and isn’t in a relationship is dead weight. She’s been single for too long so obviously she feels she doesn’t need a man. This is the mentality that some men have instilled in themselves. If we’re in a relationship we’re dragging them down, but if we aren’t in a relationship we’re showing them their not needed. Black men voice so many issues with black women, but at the end of the day who’s there when the party stops and the money runs out????

It’s all about people owning up to their responsibilities. There are a lot of kids out here without fathers because there are a lot of men out here that refuse to be fathers. They hop on anything and when they get that call “I’m pregnant” they wanna act like they’re dumb, deaf and blind. They become out of sight, out of mind because they neglected to use their brains…they just focused on getting brain. These men need to own up to their responsibilities as men and take care of their children. I never knew my father because he chose to be somewhere else. I was at a funeral for a stranger. Someone who didn’t care if I was hungry or cold as a child and at the end of the day I was the black woman/his only child who watched him get put in the ground. Your absence is noticed!!!

The thing I got from these videos is just a bunch of bullshit men that are mad at the world and the easiest thing they know how to do is blame the black woman. ” Black women didn’t want their kids and only had them to keep a no good man”. There are so many black women out here that believe in love and being happy with someone, but they can’t find it because certain black men find them as damaged goods. No wonder there are so many black women that have never been married and will never get married. It’s all about your choice in a partner. If you chose someone who isn’t about shit …man/woman black or white you only get what you chose to get involved. So instead of blaming us as a whole on the destruction of  our community, we need to focus on how to bring it back to life.  There is two sides to every coin, stop looking at the shiny part and look at the whole f*cking thing.

Holla at me: Do you think black women are constantly getting the short end of the stick?

20 thoughts on “MUST READ: Do Black Men Really Hate Black Women? *Vintage*

  1. I have to agree, it is all in the partner you choose to enter into a relationship with. I have a co-worker telling me to move to Denver because he states that the white women will treat me so good….smh. I have always dated Black women and continue to have wonderful relationships with any woman that has become an ex. Most men want that show piece. A chick that has that phat ass, and a mean head game. Before I choose any female I always ask myself can I see myself being best friends with this woman. Or, will she be there when times get hard.
    Some men, not all, have to be honest. They treat women like an expendable commodity. We as Black men have devalued, or have stood by while we’ve watched our Black women continually get devalued by others. And as this happens like my man Common states, “…our communities continue to suffer….”

  2. The thing is a lot of men really don’t like women in general and just want a woman to be an assessory instead of a companion. But also on the other hand this drawback of black men is a result of the “Black Men aint ish” campaigns that dominated the mid 90s-the present. Some of the women’s empowerment has went so far to take the feminity of women away and that’s not just a black problem but it’s always when the country has a problem the black communities issue with it is magnified.

    I wrote a post in the War and The Beauty Series Cointelpro on the Black Woman Part 2(http://ashy2classy.net/2010/09/07/war-of-the-beauty-cointelpro-on-the-black-women-pt-2/) about how there is a push someone to make it seem that black men don’t love black women which is the farthest from the case. You love who you love but black men do LOVE black women because we came from a black woman

  3. I agree with you both. As a black woman most I found that most black men only look for someone that can please them sexually and disregard a woman that can please them totally. There have been so many instances where I hear a woman say “I thought he was in to me but…” No matter what you have going for you they feel you’re too risky to date. You’re too much of a woman for him. A lot of black men walk around thinking they’re not good enough because society has told them that at the end of the day they ain’t shit. A black woman has a man’s back because that’s her partner. Some black men can’t see that, because their too blinded by the negativity

  4. Interesting. I do believe there is some animosity going between the brothers and sisters. However, its about choices. Sometimes we make bad choices in potential mates. The blame game is as old as Adam. People can say what they want but at the end of the day, nobody wants to be alone. We all want somebody to love. I have a daughter who is a teenager and I want her to make good choices. However, unless I consistantly make good choices as a her father in regards to dating, finances, devotion and life in general, I cannot expect her to make good choices if she doesnt have someone in her life she can model after. Its about responsibility. Sadly, as a Black man, I have seen too many brothers duck and hide from it.

  5. As a white woman, I can give you my perspective from observance of; and discussions with, my black friends, both male and female. What I generally don't see happening between black men and women is an upfront ability or desire to communicate on a purely polite level. This is not in every instance I see, but way too many I DO see. There seems to be a prevalence of attitude on both sides from the first meeting on. The ability to simply have a sincere, upfront, nonconfrontational discussion doesn't seem to be important. It's as though the women feel the need to be in charge and the men feel the need to make it apparent they won't be used or manipulated. This is outside the sexual aspects of an encounter. I don't mean to sound clinical in this observation, but a lot of what I see seems to indicate many black men and women aren't willing to drop their own bias against each other long enough to actually know each other as human beings. This is just my take on the situation and is by no means meant to hurt anyone.

  6. What neighborhood did you grow up in? In mine 80+% are exactly like that. Right down to theor weaves. I have yet to see one that was genuine or was happy with themselves to have NATURAL HAIR (not bought, chemically or manually straightened).

  7. No, I don't think that BW/M get the short end of the stick. There is a lot of truth to the rantings of both, but both share a few key problems. 1 being deflection…"We don't so that" "stop generalizing all us ___like that." The thing is, that we are those people we exaggerate about or at the very least known of BP that perpitrate exactly what we choose to deflect or ignore.

  8. being a black man in los angeles, i dont even talk to black women anymore… if ur not super ballin' or thugged out, alot of black women wont give you the time. its sad cuz its those type of guys who end up screwing them over, so they can turn around and say "there are no good men"

  9. I'm a black man and I say fuck black women. They aren't nothing but bitches. Aggressive ass bitches that just want relationships and not fucking. Unless you look like a gansta rappa. LOL True though

  10. Sorry if I'm late for the party, but I came across your post while looking up on the issue of brothas putting sistas down. I wrote my own take on the issue. I hope you will check it out and give your insight on the matter.

    Fasdfs, I humbly ask that you check out this post as well.

    Go to Brothawolf and check out the post entitled "When Brotha Hate Sistas."

    • OMG! I am so happy to have come across your post and blog. I am a happily married black woman (married to a black man), but I tell you, the way some black men talk about black women is disgusting. I was beginning to wonder myself why black men hate black women so much. When I was growing up, I was turned down by black males because I was brown-skinned and not light-skinned. I did not go and generalize black men. I had to look at myself and the guys I was choosing. When I did that, I realized that there was definitely a common denominator in the guys that I was going after. Once I realized that, I did some self evaluation on why I kept going after the same types of men. Solving this issue made me realize that I was the problem and since then I have had the most positive interactions with black men. Now I'm married to one :). Black men if you keep running into the same horrible woman and getting the same horrible results, look in the mirror and stop blaming others. This is such an unattractive trait. You sound like a "damsel in distress". "Even though my mother is black, I just can't date another black woman, because so many have hurt me in the past." (in my Scarlett O'Hara voice). Y'all are supposed to be helping to hold this community together no matter who you're married to or dating. GET IT TOGETHER! And the most disturbing thing is that these self hater's are actually making a dent in what societal views of black woman. These sorry excuses for men are actually making it harder for us.

  11. If black men loved black women so much then why do the “men” make horribly misogynist music against them? gangsta crap rap is the most violent hateful “music” ever to be recorded and sold. this music and the videos spread hatred and extreme misogyny against black women. black women should refuse to work on these videos as models and sex objects…a movement needs to be created to empower black women. I am a feminist white woman and i always defend black women. Not all are loud, etc…There is plenty of white trash out there as well. Women in general are victims of misogyny and black women deal with it sooo much more..

  12. ‘m sorry ,but as a Black man ,who tried to make my woman happy only to have her leave me when the going got tough, I cant trust a sister anymore,its fucked up , but this is what happens when men who give a damn get tired of the bs. I’m done, seems I’m so pissed I wouldnt hepl one in the rain with a flat tire….you independent, you fix it..I dont want anything to do with any of you predatory Black American women…I’ll find happiness in other ethnicities because most of you are self centered, ignorant, vain,hypercritical,materialistic, predatory, bitches…..whew!! that felt good!

  13. My man was married to a black woman and also had a rebound baby with a black woman. They both tried to spend every dime he made, ruin him financially and put him on the street. They also used the kids as pawns in a manipulative game of revenge. Most of my girlfriends are black women, but they would not do this…I think it’s a class issue. When you hage self esteem, a career and healthy relationships all around, you move on. I was married to a black man before this ralationship for 13 yrs, when we split, it
    was not hostile coz I would never try to take down my son’s father. As a
    result we both have houses but my new man lost everything. He’s slowly
    recovering financially. I just saw Good Deeds and Gabrielle Union is a class act. When a relationship is over, work it out, be civil.. in a war of the roses everyone loses. I find that women who are more worldly and conscious can focus on the positive and as a result they get whatever they want. We manifest our own destiny, some people need to evolve. If you are a hater, you will stay miserable. Men are simple..learn the art of seduction and ease up on the freakin dog and pony show. Men don’t like to be controlled and you can’t have everything your way. Pay attention to what a man is doing not what he says he’s gonna do.

  14. I definitely agree with this article. Black women and men need to work it out together because we need to stick together. I am sick of both Black men and women putting each other down crap like that. The comments I read Black men write about Black women is upsetting.
    @Wrath9, Fasdfs,
    I am nothing like those mean, evil hypocritical Black women, you guys came across to. And just because you came across some bad women doesn’t mean tha you put downa whole race of women. Especially if the whole race of women are YOUR OWN RACE of women. So sick! And other races of men do come across of women in their own race that are rude, nasty, hypocritical etc and they don’t put down their whole entire race of women.
    And to be honest with you, most women of other races and enthicities prefer their own men to Black men. I am not saying that they don’t date or marry Black men, they do but they prefer men their race and enthicity. Just like how Black women prefer Black men 9 out of 10 times. I was just overlooked by this Black guy that I liked. He said that he only likes White girls. Not Black ones. he was Black himself too and his mother is Black. To me, that is crazy. No race of men ever puts down their women ever but the Black man. And Black women should be nicer and more understanding too.
    @Medusa
    It is nice that you defend Black women.
    @Precise429
    Yes, I am also overlooked because I am brown skin not light skin.I noticed that there is more attention bestowed to light skin girls than dark skin girls. To me, that isn’t good because it shows that Black men don’t even like Black women anymore. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Black race wipes out in America.
    Big Chapp
    You seem to be okay however I don’t like thugs or those type of Black men. I don’t understand why Black women like Black men like that. They can’t provide or do anything for them at all except knock them up and leave them once she had the kid. The Black man has to be well educated and good looking, nice personality, appreciates Black women and not thugs or drug abusers. That is turn off to me. I like good men. And if I had to go outside my race to find a good man to marry, I definitely would especially after reading the comments Black men post about Black women. It is sad but we are each other’s worst enemy.

  15. Im a black female who is dating a black male. He says Im very loyal, giving, caring etc. Recently however he has become very critical of me and finds fault in everything I do. Nothing seems good enough. Backtrack to 2 days ago. We were having breakfast and I asked why mosg of his friends had Philippino wives. He went on to say that they give 100%. That with “them” you dont have to put up with bull-ish. He also stated they were “very” pretty. I sat there perplexed, stunned and shocked. I walked outside after our meal and told him to go be with one then……The story example was given because it seems no matter how good of a black woman you are, the comparisons always make their way in the black relationship. Ive done so much for this man and his family but the only thing standing in the way of him loving me is his obvious stigma with black women. I wish this hating would stop. All I want to do is love and be loved and finallly get married and have children. Im afraid for my people.

  16. black women just need to do themselves a favor and leave black ‘men’ alone. it’s funny that when society shows them that they are nothing more than the n-word, and people kill them in incidences like Trayvon Martin (may he R.I.P.) they want our support in protest, but when things are settled down, it’s back to the black woman hating. i don’t deal with black men at all, and believe it or not, my life is fulfilled, stress-free, and happy!

  17. Not saying this is true for every black women but most they are just streight up the freaking B word. I would not think that any type of person would want to stand there all day just getting yelled at. I know i would not want to get yelled at. That is all i have to say

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