Like everyone walking on the planet, I am in front of the TV every week watching the Hot Ghetto Mess that is the Real Hoe…I mean Housewives. If for some reason you just got out of solitary confinement 3 hours ago, the RHOA basically follows the lives of a bunch of ordinary basic chicks. The reason they’re referred to as such, is because only one of these women has made money by her own means. She never had to open her cooch to a football player, an old white guy, Keith Sweat, or an old black guy. I know I’m being a bit harsh, but dammit it’s whatever. I watched the show last night and I just wanted to talk about some of the things that bothered me with the “characters”. I say characters because these heffas are just trying to put on a show for the cameras. They gottta make their own chedda somehow, hell 3 of these chicks done lost their homes and one of them live in an itty bitty townhouse.
I see that this network uses the word Housewife very loosely, because only 2 out of 5 chicks are actually married. I wanna first touch on the token… Kim. Now I don’t know Kim personally and basically I can give a rat’s ass if I ever do. I just have a few observations that I need to get off my chest. You know what I’m gonna talk about first right? THAT DAMN SALLY’S BARGAIN BIN $12.99 AFTER TAX WIG. The shit ain’t even human hair. Light a match near that shit and that heffa gonna blow the fuck up. I know she must have a contract with Sally’s cause ain’t no way in hell she can walk around with that wig on purpose. That bitch was fouced…yea I said fouced. Also, I don’t agree with the way she raises her kids. Now I know people raise their kids how they see fit, but Kim doesn’t know how to take care of herself, much less children. And why the hell you need a nanny to take care of your kids, when your ass doesn’t even have a job? Where They Do That At? Those kids are gonna grow up with fucked up metabolisms and second hand smoke damage from that woman. And I’m surprised that CPS *Child Protective Services* ain’t picked up her ass. Every time you see her she is nursing a glass of wine. Hell maybe that’s why she needs a nanny. Those kids need adult supervision cause Mama Kim always damn tore up. I won’t get on the Big Papa shit cause to each his own. All I know its gold diggin that keeps her with that married man. I’m not even gonna touch on “Tardy for the Party”…NEXT!!
Good ol NeNe!! I ain’t gonna lie, first season I liked her ghetto ass. She said what was on her mind, and didn’t care who didn’t like it. Now on this season, I can’t stand her. Not only has her head gotten on full swole from the fame, this bitch acting like she high class or something. She had the nerve to make the comment that she doesn’t like her raggedy ass son looking so ETHIC. Bitch, I’m ethic. What that suppose to mean? I hate people that think they far away from friggin slavery. Acting like they all high and mighty when her ass was dancing and swinging that tired coochie on a pole. All of a sudden her attitude changed. Now she thinks this is her show and everybody else is her supporting cast. GTFOH. I just can’t rock with her at all right now. Hair is one of the biggest things I look at when looking at someone. And although she trying to rock the Mary J. look, that damn quick weave is getting on my last nerve. Well it’s not actually the weave, it’s the damn cap. The shit is lifting in the back and I can’t stand it. Grrrrrr wrong hair makes me mad.
Now let’s touch on this argument between these two resident evil heffas. Now I love a good cat fight, but this is just making me want to go to Duluth and beat all these heffas asses out their TV rental homes. The fight between Kim, Kandi and NeNe was all over that stupid ass song. Why? The song is a damn joke, and NeNe was getting pissed talking about the song ain’t gonna be a hit without her. Heffa, who the hell is you to think that you make or break any thang? This is the line that killed me last night while she was arguing with Kandi…“I’m writing a book, I ain’t got time for you”. *blank stare, with a single solitary tear running down my cheek* WHO IN THE WORLD REALLY GIVES A DAMN IF YOU’RE WRITING A BOOK. I don’t care…do you? So you’re writing a book? And? Hell Superhead wrote a book and you know what she became….a hoe that wrote a fucking book. Anyone can write a damn book, hell I’m writing a book and I’ll be the island chick that wrote a book. Sit yo narrow ass down some where.
I hate this show, but I love mess so I will watch this crap until the season is over. I guess that’s why it’s the most rated edition of Real Housewives in the history of the series. I know some folks don’t like some of the things I’ve said because they might be team Nene or team Kim. In the words of the late great Tupac “Frankly Scarlett, I don’t give a fuck” (c) Tupac Shakur. * Black Power Fist*
