Dear Hamburglar…I mean Chicago Larry,
Bwahahahahahahahaha….*clearing throat*. I’m sorry I just had to get that out. I was listening to to Urban Newz Radio last night where THEflyGIRL had a chance to interview you, and I must say that was the oddest fucking interview I ever heard. Dude, what the hell is wrong with you? Why the hell were you screaming in the fucking phone like that? Not only do you look like the hamburglar, your voice made me want to jump of my ground level balcony and kill myself.
You may not know this but I call you the Molesta Uncle. I’m not sure if you have molested anyone, but you sound very similar to a molesta uncle. Getting back to the alleged “interview”. You know what I wouldn’t even call that shit an interview, I called it a drunk motherfucker that just happened to pick up the phone. Are you on something? Why the hell were you acting like that? I must admit you had me and the whole urban newz crew CTFU. That voice Larry…that voice makes me feel unnatural. Like I need to wash the smut off my body, and scrub myself with a brillo pad just to get the rape off of my skin.
You started talking about your so-called “fame”. Larry you going to schools and talking to kids? Why the hell would a school want you to guest speak? You did nothing extraordinary, to be a speaker to kids…you shouldn’t even be allowed around children. Then you said you have a song that will be released soon called “Stop, Strike a Pose” or some shit like that. Fool who the hell told you, you can sing? And you said something about shooting a video, now this shit I gotta see. Well all in all you didn’t disappoint me in the least. I expected odd shit, and I got odd shit. You were randomly talking about things, that were not asked of you. At once point you were trying to impersonate “Caviar” but sounded like Daffy Duck. I don’t know, I’m still slightly confused by the whole thing. Ok, I have to end this letter. I have to go take a long walk on a short pier because this week just made me question life. Adios!!
Sincerely,
ViChick
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox
