Fourteen years ago two of R&B’s brightest stars decided to collab on a song called “The Boy Is Mine.” This was the anthem for many young girls my age who had a crush on someone and some other chick tried to holla as well. The song was a huge hit and now Monica and Brandy have decided to create that magic again. Here is the new song “It All Belongs To Me” which will be featured on both their upcoming albums.

The song produced my producer Rico Love shows the duo in a different light. First they battled over the same man, now they’re dropping the men out of their lives. This is some grown woman shit. When you’re fed up with it all, you gotta handle your business.

Take a listen and tell me what you think.

As you all know, I promote great dick. I think great dick should be adored, and loved by those who benefit from its pleasure. If I could design and sculpt a trophy for the greatest dick I ever had I would. Hell if I could cut that shit off and keep it in my purse I would. I just loved the effect that greatness had on me.

Ladies, you ever had a peen so good you had to hold on for dear life? While he is pumping you full of lead, you’re gripping everything you can get your hands on? I call this the grab and run move. The dick is diggin into your guts so you’re trying to run away from it, and his ass is pulling you back. Not many men can experience the woman gripping for fear the dick will make her explode. It really doesn’t have anything to do with size either. *Even though size does help* It’s all about how you position yourself.

You can get a guaranteed grab and run from the back shot position. No matter the size of the dick, the woman should feel it. Well if you got a Gary Coleman dick she might not understand what you’re doing back there, but I digress. A great dick man would hit those walls and plunge his hawtness in and out of you. This is where a woman needs to have her Kegel game on point. Revert that shit and use your walls against him. Pulsate those muscles; you will see how quick his ass crumbles. This time he will be the one trying to find something to hold onto.

Holla at me: You ever been sexed to the point where you couldn’t take anymore?

Hi V.I.~

I’ve been going back an forth with my ex for 3 years. Although he said he loved me and I loved him, I was never completely happy. We had a drama- filled relationship. When I lost my job he wasn’t supportive so I cut him off for the 10th time. The last argument we had was 4 month ago when he was trying to get back with me and I decided to lie to him about dating someone. He got mad and told me that I was only a f*ck an a bunch of other things, so now after 4 months he called talking bout how much he miss an love me. I wont lie he was the best sex I ever had, so I had sex with him last week an told him to leave after. Now he calls an texts everyday. I really don’t want to be bothered with him because he has nothing to offer me. I want to tell him but don’t know how especially since I slept with him last week. Part of me wants to keep him for when I get an urge but my common sense side wants to tell him to go to hell.

Found Love In A Hopeless Dick

Dear FLIAHD,

Dicks are good and I do mean good, but not good enough to keep around knowing the other person is nothing but drama. It’s obvious that he’s in it for the sex or else if he really gave a got damn he would be supportive. He also said you’re just a f*ck so you don’t need Stevie Wonder to see that negro ain’t right. This isn’t someone you can have a “just sex” relationship with, because he’s nothing but situations. He’s playing with your emotions to keep you around. Girl game recognizes game. If you know you’re not into him or even want him, then why would you subject your p*ssy to his ass. He doesn’t deserve it.  Kick his ass out of your life. Ignore his texts and don’t answer his calls. Good dick will come and go, but sanity needs to be forever.

I really hope I’ve helped you in some way. The decision is ultimately yours to make, so I hope you make the right one that will be in your best interest. Keep me posted.

Thanks

By: Sincere Thoughts

Grand Opening Grand Closing

This episode opens with Jason and Chardonnay at the movies. They are acting extra ghetto by bringing in their own food and yelling at the screen. As they laugh to themselves about what’s happening Jason tells her that he likes her but then tries to clean it up right quick and say that he likes hanging out with her even he’s not used to saying her ridiculous name. He asks if they could keep seeing each other after the annulment but she tells him that she doesn’t think it’s a good idea. They both agreed that after the annulment was final that they would go their separate ways.

At the TV studio… First Malik showed then Derwin shows up. Jason tricked them both into coming down thinking that they were going to do an interview. They first think that it’s about their beef but it’s really because he wants to tell them that he’s married and that she’s black. When he first announces that he got married they both turn to leave but when he says that she is black they come back interested and shocked. He goes on to tell them the story about getting drunk and heading to Mexico to get married. He feels like she’s changing his life for the better but she doesn’t want to see him after the annulment. Derwin tells him to cancel the annulment. That won’t work because she’ll get half if they do decide to divorce later and they barely know each other. Malik tells him to set her free and she will come back if it’s meant to be. Then Derwin tells her that Jason should show her that there’s another side to him in the same way that she showed him things.

At the Davis house… Melanie and Derwin are getting dressed and making small talk after sex. Since they are trying to have a baby they need to have sex when she’s ovulating. Derwin is rushing them as they get dressed because he doesn’t want to be late for church. Melanie tells him it’s not a big deal and that she had the pastor hold up the service for them. Derwin is in disbelief because the old reverend would never do that. Apparently Melanie had him replaced. Since he made her become more involved in church (last season he laid down that law after she was doing some crazy stuff like lying all the time about everything and getting his son DNA tested without him orjanay’s permission) she has gone all out by getting the clothes, learning the hymns, and adding John 3:16 to all her signatures.

At the church… Derwin and Melanie arrive at the church. It’s filled with an array of multi cultural folks (Reminds me of a nondenominational mega church type feel). Even the mayor is a member. They are escorted to their seats (in vip) that are right next to Deray Davis. Melanie asks him to say one of the lines from his movie but he refuses to do it in church so she says it all corny like. You can tell that DeRay is aggravated with her and that she must do it often. Come to find out she actually was holding service up because they were late. She gives the pastor a nod and then he begins service. Crazy. As service begins Derwin is visibly not happy with the way things are going. Melanie seems to be a mini celeb of sorts and is running the church but not in a good way.

Back at the Davis residence… Derwin is in the kitchen checking his phone when Melanie walks in. She asks Him what’s wrong since he hasn’t said a word since they left church. He goes on to tell her that he has to get used to the things like the usher giving him a scalp massage during the sermon or the auto detailing during service. She tells him that it may take some time to get used to but that they write big checks for that type of treatment. When Derwin asks how big the checks are she pulls out her checkbook to show him. In the memo of one of the checks she wrote “make me pregnant”. Derwin is flabbergasted! He tells her that God is not a genie! Apparently instead of praying she writes what she wants from God in the memo area on the checks. He tells her that she is tripping and VIP has her messed up. VIP has put her in the right circles outside of church. He gives her two options. They either go back to the old church or they continue going to the new church but sit in the back with the regular people. She flips out and asks him if he knows what VIP stands for in the church? Very Important Protection. The back of the church, according to her, is like the back of a plane where you fight for armrests, little Timmy won’t stop kicking your chair and the bathrooms might as well be in your mouth. She thinks that he has a game next sunday but it’s actually Monday night. I guess she’ll be in the back with the regular people.

At the bar… Jason and Chardonnay are watching his show “the Pitts stop” and he has a special message for her at the end. He just wants to start again from the beginning. She tells him that she cares about him but they are at two different places in their lives. If she were younger than she would have jumped at the chance but she is too old for that. She tells him that she wants and deserves it all, marriage, kids etc. She even asks if he wants kids, live with someone and all that. He is hurt and tells her fine because there are more catfish in the sea before leaving.

At a movie theatre… Jason is on a date with another black girl. Her name is Jennifer (spelled the normal way) but he can’t believe it and asks if it has a G or something instead. He starts acting the same way he did with Chardonnay like bringing in food and talking thoughout the film. She is embarrassed and tells him to put the food away or they will be kicked out and that he needs to be quiet because people are looking at them. After his last shout to the movie she gets up and leaves in disgust right before the usher comes to kick him out.

At Tasha’s penthouse… After the debacle at the movies Jason goes to see Tasha for some advice. He needs her to help him understand black women. She laughs hysterically. He’s trying to figure out why Chardonnay doesn’t want to be with him. She goes on to tell him the plight of a black woman. According to Tasha, the black woman is so desperate to be in a relationship with a good black man that she will wait around for him, pray for him, and the when they finally snag one they’ll just go ahead and let him act a fool. Now that he understands the plight he wants to know how he can get Chardonnay to want to be with him. She advises him to accept her on her terms and be honest. And she tells him to read Steve Harvey’s book ‘think like a man, act like a woman’. She tells him not to sleep on that book and that Chardonnay is probably getting her info from the book as well.

Next sunday at church… Derwin and Melanie arrive at the Back with the regular people. The first thing that happens is that one of the parishioners thinks that he’s lost andthen asks him to sign a bible. As the service starts Derwin asks the guy next to him what page they are on and this dude has the nerve to say that he’s not paying attention because he has a lot on his mind, then asks Derwin if he can lend him some money. The pastor asks for a praise report (a testimonial for you heathens out there) and this nice older lady that was sitting next to Melanie stands. She begins to tell a story of how she has fallen on hard times and all she would like is a prayer. Melanie has a look on her face as though the woman’s testimony touched her and she wants to change but you never can tell with Melanie.

At the bar… Jason goes back to see Chardonnay armed with Tasha’s advice. He works up the nerve to tell her how he feels. Come to find out that he went out with three of her friends that week. In his defense he doesnt know any other black women and he was trying to replace her. That didn’t work out so well. He begins to tell her that he wants to take the next 4 weeks left that they have before the annulment and start over. He tries to tell her what Tasha told him about the plight of the black woman but gets it all mixed up so he just speaks from his heart. He tells her that he wants to be with her. He could stand there and tell her everything that she wants to hear but the reality is that she has to let him show her instead. He then asks her to take a leap of faith with him and give it a shot. After a deep breath she agrees to give it a shot before ending another week’s episode.

I must say one of the hardest emotions to control is love. No matter what you try to cover it up with, it always seeps out of your heart. As grownups we fall in and out of something we think is love, but realized it wasn’t what we thought it was when it’s over. The worst thing about love is that it can happen when you least expect it, with someone you least expected to fall for…a friend. Now you’ve secretly fallen deep without their knowledge. You suffer through the pain while they live their lives. You’re now watching someone you love, love someone else.

Have you ever loved someone that loved someone else? It’s the toughest pill to swallow. I once had feelings for a friend. We were friends for a number of years and during that time I guess my feelings were always there. The thing was he had no clue how I felt. It’s not that I was ashamed in how I felt, my friend was a damn man hoe. The fact that we were friends I knew the games he played with unsuspecting chicks. The thing was as someone who was just my friend I got to know a different side of him, but I knew he was a man hoe so I never said anything. So a few years passed and I noticed that my feelings were getting stronger. Now by this time he has tamed his dog-ish ways and looking for something more meaningful. Basically we were both longing for the same things, but for some reason we never looked at it in each other. Well at least in my mind he never looked for it in me. Any way, after a few years I couldn’t take it anymore. The more I sat on my feelings the worse off I started to feel. I felt I needed to say something, but was afraid of the reaction. I wasn’t too afraid that he would be so uninterested that the friendship would end, I knew it wasn’t gonna go that way. I just thought the shit would be uncomfortable if we had the discussion and it wasn’t a mutual feeling. Basically I was running away from rejection, but deep down I had to know.

Just when I worked up the nerve to say something, I found out that he’s was seeing someone and by the way he spoke about her he was now in love. Ya’ll if you know how it feels to be ran over by a runaway train moving at 140 mph, that’s how I felt. Like I got knocked the f*ck over. I ain’t gonna lie, that shit HURT me to my very core. Even though I was dying inside I listened to him rant and rave about her. What a wonderful person she was, how he was so happy. I put on my fake smile and asked questions, although I’m in love I’m still the “friend.” I was watching the man I had feelings for be excited about someone other than me. I decided not to tell him at that moment. I guess it’s the fact that he seemed so different. I never heard him talk about no chick in that way. I felt defeated! All the times we did movie nights or just hung out I wished I said something to make what I felt known, but always threw those feelings in the back of my emotional closet. I didn’t want to deal with them, so I didn’t deal with it.

The more you hide your true feelings the more it will eat you up inside. It’s still killing me because I have yet to tell him. He has no clue to this day. Will I ever tell him…not sure. I decided to just let him be happy where he’s at. You never know what happens when you do express yourself. It can be the best thing you ever did or the worst. The whole thing is once you get it off your chest you feel a weight just lifted off of you. I will eventually say something one day. This whole situation reminds me of the movie “My Bestfriend’s Wedding.” Julia Roberts character finally told ol dude how she felt about him a day before he was set to get married. She kissed him and his fiance played by Cameron Diaz saw the whole thing and turned to run away. Cameron’s running, dude’s running after Cameron and Julia is running after him. Julia calls her friend played by Rupert Everett and told him what’s happening. He says and I quote “He’s chasing her, your chasing him. Who’s chasing you? Nobody! Got it?” That quote alone is enough to not make you even say shit right? lol

Holla at me: Have you ever been in love with someone and they never knew it?

Salute to WSHH

So one of my twitter boos sent this video to me and I got madder than a stripper on half-off Wednesdays. If you look closely you see this perverted ass man trying to put his tiny ass hard ass junk on some chile’s leg on the train. The sad part is the folks on the train looking at him doing it and they ass ain’t saying shit. The girl tries to move, but his nasty ass continues to rub his dick head on her. I swear these punk ass people on this damn train just watch this chile get sexually assaulted or whatever the shit is called. Anyway watch this rachetness.

Good dick can have a chick  gone. No matter how much she tells herself it’s just for fun, every deep stroke he gives makes her think “what if.” Not all women can have sex without catching feelings. When a woman gives herself sexually, she ends up giving herself emotionally. Sex can be very emotional no matter how the relationship started out. The second you gave him the mingee you got dick hooked. Then you start acting crazy. Yes, you start treating the “just sex” relationship like something else…a RELATIONSHIP. You get jealous if you see him with someone else. If you call and he doesn’t answer the phone you get mad. If he comes over, hits it from the back real good your ass wants to cuddle and talk afterwards. Chile, you’re all the way never right when you create this relationship in your head. You have taken a situation that was suppose to be so simple and turned it into something else. You have become too emotionally invested in a just sex relationship. The question is, is it ok to be emotional if you’re giving your other parts?

I’ve not been involved in a “Just sex” relationship in a long time, but back in the day I left feelings out of the equation. I was able to separate sex from emotions. I knew this was just something we were doing and that’s that. Now I’ve had situations where the men got too emotionally attached to me and I had to cut it short. See I believe that a sex relationship should be void of any sort of relationship aspects. Sure you’re giving each other very much needed business, but at the end of the day you have no claim to each other. That way once one of you meet someone that you’re interested in, the other won’t get mad and shit cause the sex sessions are over. This is the proper way to perform a sex relationship.

Now feeling how I’m feeling nowadays a sex session would lead to all kinds of wrong. I can admit it, over the last 2-3 years I’ve gotten *hmmmmm* I’ve gotten a little softer. I don’t know if this is age or what, but I feel like a punk. Ok punk is a strong word, but I’ve gotten more in-tuned with my  feminine side. Before I thought like a man, hell even held my imaginary dick when I wanted to show how tough I was to someone. Lol. Now, all that shit went out the window. I would never get involved in a just sex relationship now because I know my emotions would be all up and thru that bitch. It’s like when you’re seeking more in life a once in a while relationship turns into “omg I think I’m in love” relationship, when it’s clearly not the case. You’ve developed this thing in your mind where you think, it’s meant to be knowing good and damn well it’s just sex. You think “well maybe deep down he feels the same but just doesn’t want to show it” when he’s actually looking at you as a f*ck friend. You’ve gotten too emotional. This is why I cut that sex buddy shit out years ago because I know my focused has shifted. I rather a dick that comes home to me every night and wakes up with me every morning. I don’t need no dick that stays, f*cks me for a few hours, takes a  nap then wakes up before the sun comes up to go home. No ma’am I ain’t about that life.

So ladies before you make an agreement with Rakim to beat it like a cop, think before you stroke. If you know that dick is too good and your liable to fall in love, don’t do it. Back in the day if I tried it once and the dick was just heaven on a stick, I didn’t go back. I refuse to allow a dude’s dick to dictate my emotions. No more puss for you sir. You got that hook em dick.

Ya’ll know I am somewhat of a ball breaker right, so there are just certain things I refuse to tolerate when it comes to men. I firmly believe men should act like GOD gave them common sense and not make me get gutta on their asses. I am as sweet as cotton candy, but there is just some bullshit that will make me dump your ass in a heartbeat. I try to give you fair warning before you decide to try me, but I guess some people just don’t get it as fast as others. This blog is dedicated to the men I dated and dumped. These are the reasons I dumped you. This one’s for you boo. *Marlo Hampton jailhouse wink*

6. Men Don’t Nag, Bitches Do~ I hate a nagging man. Yes, men nag too. I just don’t understand the need for it. Why you kept sweating me about dumb shit was beyond me. I tell you I’m out with my girls and you accuse me of cheating. You showed too many insecurities and frankly my dear that shit was a straight turn off. You moved like less than a man and more like a bitch. I don’t do weak fellows.

5. Hoes in Different Area Codes~ For some strange reason I always attracted the n*ggas that can’t help but have more than one chick on their roster. I’m assume having different women makes them feel like the man, but you sadly…you ain’t boo. I think I am that damn good that I didn’t need to share you with random women. Hell if you were gonna cheat on me you could’ve at least cheated with a chick that can make me say “Damn I see why he did it”. Don’t cheat with a Dollar Menu Cheeseburger bitch when you got Steak’ Ums at home.

4. Dead Dick Don’t Do Me~ Your dick didn’t work! It just laid there like a limp dish rag. Fool kill yo self…and any chick that told you, you had that good dick. Bitch wouldn’t know a good dick if it came up and slapped her in the face and did the Harlem Shake.

3. Weakness is an Acquired Taste~ I can’t stand a weak man. If you constantly showed your weakness I looked at you as less than a man. I love a confidence, and boo you never had it. How the f*ck you gonna say “I want to marry you, but I’m afraid you’re gonna cheat on me in 7 years”. First off, where the hell 7 years come from? Then you had the nerve to cry and ask me to promise not to cheat on you. Yo, when a man cries over bullshit he imagined I can’t help but chuckle. That back and forth trying to convince you otherwise mess just isn’t for me. If you don’t know where you stand with me, then maybe I’m not the woman for you.

2. Liar Liar, Dick on Fire~ I HATE LIARS. I HATE LIARS MORE THAN I HATE COMMUNISM. LOL. I just don’t understand why people gotta lie about everything. You told me “Oh that not my child. It’s my god-son. “. N*gga that’s your child. He looks like you gave birth to him your damn self.  What kind of fool you took me for. I must not have looked in the mirror often cause if I did I would have seen the word “Stupid ass” written on my forehead. One thing I hate is a man denying his child. That is some low ass shit. I’m glad that chick took your simple ass to child support. Lying for bullshit reasons.

1. Crazy Son of a Bitch~ *Blankness and Despair* It ain’t cute to be crazy. You actually dumped me and turned around and asked me why did I dump you *Taylor Swift confused look*. You seemed like a perfectly normal individual when we first met, then you started getting all “It rubs the lotion on its skin” crazy. That shit wasn’t a good look especially given the fact that you were a lot older than me and was “suppose” to be more mature. Chile stop!! Oh and by the by you had too much f*cking body hair. That shit is so gross. You looked like you were wearing a sweater…like all the time.

I can go on and on with this topic, but I have a life. I just wanted to list some of the reasons I might have left your awkward ass. I don’t know how I ever survived kicking it with you, but thank the lawd above I got the hell on. You don’t need a relationship, you need a team of doctor’s studying your stupidity. No normal woman should ever give ya’ll the time of day. All ya’ll need spiritual guidance.

THIS VIDEO DELIVERS EVERYTHING EVER IN LIFE THAT NEEDS TO BE DELIVERED BY THE DELIVERER. I laughed so much my damn neighbors knocked on my door cause I was making too much noise at 12am this morning. Funky Dineva did not just go in…honey went in, out and all the way through Marlon Hampton’s tranny ass “sounding like Anita Baker’s brother” bitchhhhh lmaoooooo. Chile if there was ever a time I love mess it’s on Sundays. Enjoy!

P.S. Marlon’s ass needs to get a beat down by a slew of heel wearing, red lip having gays. Beat this hoe to a pulp for using the “f” word like that. Ol adam’s apple having ass.