Love no matter what the color is never easy. Learning the in’s and outs of the person you’re with can sometimes create a distorted view of men in general. This is generally said about black men. Black men like any other man on this planet are not easily understood. Although most men are from Mars and some from the slums of Jupiter *that was a bad joke*, there is a formula to loving each and every one of them. Many women can never understand the process it takes to love a real black man. Some women think nagging, drama and good pussy is the way to keep a black man at bay. A real woman knows how to love a real man.
Many people also think there should be no difference in loving a black man. He is a man after all; but there actually is a difference. Black men have been degraded and plucked from the family for years. I can actually say growing up I never had a stable male figure in my life. My father like many fathers were absent from the family structure. So many women became both father and mother to many unknowing children. With the lack of the family dynamic many children *boys and girls* grew up not knowing about how to appreciate the opposite sex. I didn’t know how to love a black man, but as the years went by I realized that loving a black is actually not as difficult as I thought. There is no concrete formula to loving a black man…a real black man. Just because he’s black and refers to his penis as “Killa” does not mean he is deserving of your love. When you find a true man that deserves everything you give him and vice versa, then and only then can you fully open your heart and show him how you love. Here are a few ways you can learn how to love a black man.
1. Show Him You’re For Him, Not Against Him~ Sometimes a man needs support. I’m not talking about the lazy no good n*ggas sitting on the couch, without a job while you work 2 just to put food on the table. I’m talking about a man that is motivated in his goals, and needs a cheerleader by his side. It’s very discouraging no matter who you are to have NO ONE believe in you. Don’t be so quick to dismiss his hopes…his dreams. When things go good or bad you should be the first person he wants to talk to. You bring out the passion in him.
2. Get the Drama Away~ Ladies, men don’t do drama. * clears throat* Ladies, real men don’t do drama. One thing you find when it comes to a man is THEY’RE THE MOST SIMPLEST CREATURES ON THE FACE OF THIS EARTH. If you bring too much unnecessary baggage to the relationship their minds seem to shut down and everything will change. Keep it as simple as possible. It makes things easier when it comes to taking that next step.
3. Let him take the lead~ This should be number one, but if it’s one thing I can’t stand is a man not being A MAN. I’ve encountered men that act like bitches because other women allowed them to act like bitches. There are men out there that want to be that head…the man of the house. I think the fact that women have been doing it by themselves for so long, it can be a bit difficult for us to give up our status as “head” to a man. I say if that man wants to provide, let him provide. Give him the respect he deserves if he’s doing what he should be doing as the man in your life. Respect him and he will respect you.
4. Give Him Time~ Sometimes a man needs time to himself. A woman sometimes gets so focused on what a man is thinking that she doesn’t give him time to actually think. A man needs time to process his emotions. Nagging him continuously to say how he feels is just gonna make him keep everything in more and more. If a man wants to say something, trust me…He will say it.
5. Not saying “I Love You” is saying “I Love You~ Ok we’ve discussed how some men do have problems expressing themselves. Although a man may be reluctant to say I love you everyday doesn’t men he doesn’t love you. A man sometimes uses his actions as a way to show a woman how he really feels. Don’t be too quick to disregard these actions. A man isn’t going to waste time on a woman who doesn’t appreciate what he has to offer.
6. Don’t Try To Change Him~ For some reason a woman thinks she is the answer that will change a man for the better. A man can’t change unless he wants to change. If you can’t accept a man for who he is, then there is no need to continue the relationship. A man wants to know a woman can love him for him despite all his flaws. He’s your perfect imperfection.
No one said loving another person was gonna be easy. It takes a strong couple to get this love thing on the right course. I just gave a few helpful tips, but there is so much more that comes with it. I know a lot of people expected me to discuss the sexual aspect of it. It’s no damn secret all men love sex. They actually love sex more than they love to eat…um hmmm. Ok yea…so that is a given. Ladies, men would love to be in a loving relationship just as much as you do, but if you don’t know how to properly love him then the relationship won’t work.
Trina
Comment made on July 26, 2010 @ 11:44 am
Wow V.I. You went deep down with this one. A lot of women think so low on black men. They don’t realize their just with the wrong ones. Great post!
Amber-Fash
Comment made on July 26, 2010 @ 11:59 am
PRRRRREEEEAAAACHHHHHH Gurrrrl preach. Seriously everything that is said is so true. All things we need to know and let others know two snaps
PA_Worldwide
Comment made on July 26, 2010 @ 9:06 pm
Thank you sister, from one Black man’s heart. All I can say is thank you.
V.I.
Comment made on July 27, 2010 @ 10:27 am
You’re welcome PA_Worldwide.
Loves it.....
Comment made on July 29, 2010 @ 10:24 am
very informational!! I love this site!
Nesbitt
Comment made on July 30, 2010 @ 2:13 am
hey I like ur stuff Mehson you go hard..real talk! keep up the good work
AQUANITA CARTER
Comment made on July 27, 2011 @ 1:38 pm
THIS IS VERY WELL PUT TOGETHER,THANKS
Chosen
Comment made on July 28, 2011 @ 11:41 am
You are right on the money with this article! Being a black man, this is how I think, and I share this thought process with my Black Queen as to provide some insight into my mind. Black men and Black women do not think alike…Men and woman just don't think alike and it is imperative for women to understand that. Not excusing the responsibility of Black men to take care of their Black women, but black women you have to enbrace your black men and commit to the struggle of maintaining our culture and the way we do things. We are the most powerful substance the earth! Great thought!! Black Love!
maria
Comment made on July 28, 2011 @ 12:50 pm
SOY MUJER DE 42 AÑOS ME GUSTARIA ENA MORARME DE UN HOMBRE DE COLOR DE 42 A45 AÑOS SOY BLANCA es pañola
One Love
Comment made on August 21, 2011 @ 11:41 am
what she is saying is right, us black woman have to love our black men and show them that we do love them and respect them.
black networking
Comment made on November 28, 2011 @ 6:45 pm
As a proud African American, I feel it is especailly difficult to find lasting careers and lasting friends. I like hearing what you have to say, it haelps me a lot. Thank you.
oge
Comment made on December 20, 2011 @ 8:36 am
I have learnt something new thanks alot
Larry
Comment made on May 2, 2012 @ 7:51 am
Ladies there was slot of good to this but there was so much trash it won’t help you much. I could write books of cliff notes for these. Sorry but find another source
Leyya
Comment made on May 30, 2012 @ 9:45 pm
Thank you so much.. At least I know how to love my black men that I cherish so much. Actually am an Asian woman (malay) and my boyfriend is a Black Men.. and it’s very hard for me to cope with him for the first time cause we come from the different culture and also am a single mom which already get used staying alone and independent.
Thanks a lot.. and i think this will really help…
Kay
Comment made on August 6, 2012 @ 1:32 am
Love this Post , This Is the way I feel sometimes , I Agree!
Damn! You Changed On Me!! « From Ashy to Classy
Pingback made on August 15, 2012 @ 11:42 am
[...] How To Love A Black Man [...]
Missy
Comment made on August 20, 2012 @ 3:06 pm
This article is on the money! The drama part is a HUGE one because sometimes some women start to treat their men like their girlfriends, whereas they want to gossip about all of their friends with him!
Leena
Comment made on October 7, 2012 @ 9:49 pm
Glad too have found this article. Answers a lot of questions….
Looking For Advice On Love
Pingback made on December 14, 2012 @ 11:54 am
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Latosha Brown
Comment made on December 21, 2012 @ 3:33 am
Great article. We need to encourage and support black couples. Thank you. I recently recorded a sing dedicated to black love. Please check it out and feel free to share if you like. YouTube link is http://youtu.be/D88AHXQ5kCE
Peace and Blessings!
Steven
Comment made on January 24, 2013 @ 1:19 pm
Very good insight. Honest and seemingly unbiased. You were able to speak some hard truths without demonizing black women, demeaning black men, or laying total blame at the feet of either. I enjoyed the read. Just happened on this blog,
V.I are you a black or white woman. Again, I’m not familiar with your site and assumption is something I try not to fall to.
Thank you
Jackie
Comment made on February 11, 2013 @ 6:25 pm
I Hve a question? My husband. beat me up & kicked me out. He got arrested for spousal abuse.
Besides
What he did, we only been married. 11 months . The problem is.
He likes looking @. Women. And he tells me to deal with it. He is saying
I’m to jealous. Well then, he needs to stop looking. He disrespects
Me as his wife. He don’t keep his word, and. he lies.
I’m very hurt what he did to me. I’m currently staying with my daughter.
And now I find out he is cheating on me also.
This is my third marriage & his. My self esteem is shot, he made me feel ugly . I Hve to go to support groups for domestic abuse. He is calling it quits, saying he can’t handle me. I trusted this man. I thought he was the one. He promised to love me &. Care for me.
felicia
Comment made on March 6, 2013 @ 8:08 pm
This woman in the picture is biracial ,some black men would say i love black women but will be talking about biracial women. Biracial women are a western type of beauty. Not black beauty. Not evey black person thinks black is black.
felicia
Comment made on March 6, 2013 @ 8:11 pm
Jackie good luck stay safe, remember not everybody the same.
vibhor
Comment made on March 12, 2013 @ 7:35 am
As i am also black and it sucks when someone you love ignores you and i love black women.. they are more beautiful
Denzil Snoddy
Comment made on April 20, 2013 @ 6:01 am
I love what you said on some comments, pls it sound simple, But i tell you a few important things. First a Black man loves a women that loves herself. check 1 , a B. Man loves a women that worshiping God. Check 2, a B. Man love a women that’s balance in her life . Check 3, a B. Man need a educated women on both levels, Books an street smarts. These are simple jesters, that a real B. Man needs. Not a mom want to be. Sorry a woman can never really know what’s in a B. Man heart and soul. unless he tells you, remember all B. Man are different in many ways. So what’s good for one man doesn’t mean it good for another. So pls stop thinking you can throw around all these jesters and it fit all B. Man and it don’t. Check 4, lesson to learn ever person on this earth have to be understood differently. there might be some similar characteristics, but never the same. Learn how to love first, then you go out in the world and find your Black man, peace my peoples….!