So we started off “Black Love” week with “How to love a black man” , now we will teach the fellas a thing or two about us. Unlike men, women can be very complicated creatures. The majority of the time we think we need everything, but in actuality we . There are a lot of chicks out there that think everything should automatically be handed to them. A woman knows her self worth regardless of her relationship status, but can appreciate the love and affection given by the opposite sex. The man that has to pleasure of having a real woman in his life must be aware of how to treat her.
Black women are characterized as the most difficult to deal with. Ok, there may be some truth to this, but this is because we don’t take no shit. We know what we want, and if you can’t be real with us…it’s time to go. Some men get it twisted and think that just because he is MAN a woman should be beneath him. We’ve learned to do for ourselves that we don’t need anyone…we simply want them. Men don’t choose a woman, she chooses him. For the real men out there, if you’re in a relationship with a black woman and you want to know how to really love and satisfy here then here goes.
1. Keep It 1000~ Yea I said 1000. People say the truth hurts. Yea that is true, but a lie hurts even more. A woman only wants a man to tell her the truth no matter how disappointing it may be. She wants to know that you have her best interest at heart, and even though she might be discouraged the point is you told her. A woman can handle the truth…she cannot forgive a lie.
2. Respect Her Fresh ~ Respect goes a long way with a woman. No woman wants to feel like her time and her efforts mean nothing. Show her that you respect her opinions and input. Also, you can’t demand respect if you can’t give it. One thing I can’t stand is a man that tries to play the playa role. Women calling the house and shit…how can you allow that and respect your relationship?
3. Listen to her needs~ Men don’t listen…or they do listen they just don’t wanna hear it. How ever it works all a woman needs a man to do is listen to what she has to say. A lot of couples lack that basic communication skill. They don’t listen so nothing gets heard. A man needs to take the time and find out what his woman needs in order to make her happy. A happy woman makes for a happy home.
4. Bring Home the Bacon, and She’ll Cook It~ Every woman ultimately wants a provider. Although women flaunt the theory “I’m independent, I got my own”. A woman wants to know her man can provide for the family. Fellas listen here….truth be told. A woman has no problem being subservient to her husband. As long as he’s taking care of business the way he should be, she would make sure everything else is handled.
5. Head to Head Combat~ A woman wants a man that can battle with her. I’m not talking about they start fighting all over the house. I mean a woman can’t stand a “Yes Man”. A yes man is someone that has no backbone and can never stand up for what he wants. He says yes to everything and rarely gives his input or insight about anything. For instance, I like a man that isn’t afraid to tell me no. Not rag me up or anything. Just a man that can put his foot down.
6. She IS a woman after all~ There are times men forget that women are still women. Once the years go by and the babies are born, men stop treating their women as women. Although, time has passed and you’re lives are filled with fruity pebbles rather than f*cking in the living room at 12pm she’s still the woman you’re with. Take her out and compliment her show her affection. A woman needs to know she’s still loved and appreciated after everything you’ve been through.
7. Allow her to Dream with you~ A woman wants to share in your vision. She doesn’t want to be left out of your future. If you have personal goals, share them with each other. Allow her inside of your head and vice versa. A woman wants to see her man succeed, she just wants to take that ride together.
8. Her Friends Are Not Your Enemies~ Men think that the single girlfriend will lead his woman astray. Fellas, women do have minds of their owns. The majority of the time a woman knows that her best girlfriend wishes she had the relationship you have. Point blank…women will always be jealous of others. A real woman knows what she has and just because she’s chilling with KeKe doesn’t mean she wants to do the things KeKe is doing. This isn’t high school…this is real-life.
9. Prove You’re Different~ Women in general are emotional. They may have been hurt a time or two. Show that woman you’re different than the rest. Women go into new situations with a guarded heart. They may be afraid to trust because of how they might have been treated in past relationships. If you’re not that guy…prove that to her. Allow her to see who you really are.
10. Don’t try to hard~ Although women like a man to show her he’s different than the rest, you don’t have to try to hard to do it. Sometimes effortless chemistry makes two people gravitate more towards each other. A real woman can see through the bullshit, so don’t try to show it to her.
Although, all these rules apply to every woman black women seem to be the minority when it comes to relationships. According to CNN 70% of black women are single, and 40% will not be married. This means a black woman has a higher chance of being alone for the rest of her life. The only thing we need is someone who is down for us and has our best interests at heart. Fellas, I hope you’ve learned something today…if not you’re not ready to take on a real black woman.
Missy
Comment made on July 27, 2010 @ 11:08 am
Loving this post, especially the part approaching new situations with a guarded heart. Time and time again, some women meet men and they turn out to be the same old shenahdigans. What I have came to realize and what I came to terms with is friends first then lovers. I really feel that most of the time we don’t take the necessary precautions and effort to get to know someone. What I realize with this aspect of friends first is that it is very difficult to move it to the next level based on the casuality of the friendship. But we too have to understand that people are not perfect and if h accept the good, then it would be fair to accept the bad once it’s acceptable to u. Inspire change in them so they can see the benefits on change. The reason I use inspire because we know you can’t change someone. I really believe just like things change, people do but ppl only change if they feel it is worth it and the person is worth it!
Apple
Comment made on July 27, 2010 @ 6:10 pm
I am so feeling this article. Especially #7. It is unreal the number of men that don’t find this important. I’ve been battling with this very issue in my own relationship and I feel like I am on the outside of his life. Like I am just a tiny piece in his life, because he never shares his dreams and aspirations with me. It makes me feel sad and left out. hmmm. I know someone who shares all of his heart’s desires with me. It makes me feel special, like we have a special bond. Hopefully, my current beau comes around.
Excellent, excellent article!
Thank you for sharing these truthful but under the radar points.
Adonis
Comment made on February 18, 2011 @ 2:32 pm
You must be talking about older black women… cause I really think this list is BS…
vichick
Comment made on February 18, 2011 @ 9:09 pm
That\’s your opinion Adonis. I\’m talking to anyone that can\’t seem to figure us out. If you got it figured out…coolness, but its all ur opinion
christopher R.
Comment made on June 23, 2011 @ 2:55 pm
Yo I feel you on most of that but as a black man that are into the sistas I find some aspects a lil off as I find all black women are bitches by nature strong and that whole independent shit is lesbo standards but they are soft and sweet and do want a black man but most black men want a pussy as a women not the black women standard of women this said I have me a strong black women that has a good education and has done just as you said lifted me up as ruff as it was I'm going better in my life and hope one day to be married to her just remember that the black man is a pussy even though we act tuff. Thanks for the intell you are doing great tech and we shall be thought.
Hit me up I'm reading and learning
casey from kc
Comment made on August 17, 2011 @ 3:56 pm
as a black nubian brotha i don't think black women are worth pursuing anymore, i don't know one black woman who would be appreciative of that, thats why i stepped off and let the latinos, white, green whoever have em
Ian
Comment made on September 14, 2011 @ 10:26 pm
As a white guy (22 y.o.) just out of a 1.5 year relationship with a black woman (ny, ny), I can say this: be a listener is what makes a girl fall in love with you. And when she's being a listener with me, thats what makes me fall in love with her.
A tip for men: don't think about what you're gonna say while she's talking just to have the perfect answer. REPLY to her answer, CREATE the connection, and if you succeed, all it take is just a 3-second smile and a 3-second eye connection to feel the spark and the creation of something new and beautiful.
Once you do that for a while, you'll start "feeling" her. Not feeling in terms of feeling her with your tongue and her smooth ridges in the vagina while you make her wet and she starts pulling your hair for more, but feeling in terms of intuitively knowing "whats up" before both of you start talking. just be sensitive.
Mocha
Comment made on September 15, 2011 @ 11:30 pm
Damn Casey! Sorry you feel that way!