Last night I watched this show on TVOne called “Love Addiction.” I’ve watched the show a few times and I judged these people that decided to bear their souls, hearts and tears for the whole world to see. I really didn’t like the show because it really made people look stupid as hell. When I watched last night’s episode I realized that the show didn’t make these folks looked stupid, the lack of love did. Love or the lack of it can make you look stupid on the outside every day, but it’s not televised for the world to see.
For me watching people that have been where I’ve been once in my life looked odd, because now I see how I may have looked to the people around me. So on last night’s episode a young lady was in a one-sided “relationship.” The guy she was head over heels in love with told her straight out that she’s not his girl. He doesn’t believe in labels/relationships. She lived in denial and thought that he really loved her, when he clearly showed that he doesn’t at all. She’s convinced herself she’s in a relationship, but because he doesn’t “believe” in titles she lets it slide. How many times have we been seeing someone and we’re acting like we’re in a relationship but because things are complicated in the other person’s life things can’t be exclusive? We sometimes tend to settle and play the waiting game, but how long is the wait? No matter how much we try to tell ourselves things will get better, they never do. If you’re with someone and giving them everything you would in a relationship, why would they want to be in one? They’re already experiencing the relationship without the commitment of one.
In these kind of relationships sometimes you try to make yourself feel less of an idiot and explain to others that your just “living in the moment.” When deep down you feel unsure and don’t understand how you ended up in that kind of situation. Feelings are a powerful thing, but when you deserve more but given less you tend to question every last ounce of your situation. Nothing seems genuine enough. You start to question their actual intentions. You wonder what is it about you that makes him/her not want to claim you. These are common questions that fill your mind. You allow yourself to settle for the little things that you’re getting. Someone to cuddle with once or twice a week. Someone who texts you every so often to see how your doing. These kind of scenarios can drive you mad. Why buy the cow when his ass is getting the milk for free with little to no effort? This truly happens to a lot of women. We see the potential in someone and we choose to stay. A man sees what he’s lacking in life and he chooses to not complicate it more than it already is with a relationship. We give them the privilege, but they give us the little attention just enough to keep us at bay but not enough to complicate things.
In my honest opinion sometimes this is just an excuse on his part to keep his options open. While he’s technically ”single” and mingling all over the place, you decide not to focus on anyone else because you’re right where you want to be. He’s doing his thing and your waiting on him to do the right thing. You can either stay and wait until God knows when, or you can decide that you deserve to be in a reciprocated relationship. In something with someone that calls you his girlfriend rather than his friend. That kisses you like you matter. Someone who can lay in bed holding without expecting sex. Someone who can look at you and tell you “you’re the person I want to be with.” That’s a relationship…with more than a label. That’s love!