There might come a time in everyone life, where you might fall in love with someone that you know you shouldn’t have developed feelings for. Sometimes you meet someone you’re attracted to, and because of both your status you cannot pursue anything further. So what do you do when the temptation gets so strong that you can’t deny it any longer? You find yourself putting yourself in a deeper situation that you never intended to happen.
I am not innocent by far. I have done things in relationships that I wish I thought twice about at the time. I have cheated in a relationship, which I am not proud to say. Back in the day I was involved with a nice guy, who had alot of great qualities that I admired. We had no basic issues in the relationship as far as I was concerned. One night while out with my friends, I was introduced to a cutie. That night we flirted with each other very innocently, then we parted ways. I thought nothing about it, until she told me the following day that he was interested in me. She knew I was seeing someone so she never gave him my number.
Somehow this guy got my number, and right off I told him what the deal was with my status. We decided to be just friends; which never really works out because you’ve already established an attraction to each other. We talked on the phone frequently and one day we decided to go out for drinks. Now about a month passed, and I was still in my relationship but wanted to hang out with the guy. When we got next to each other the attraction was so crazy. I tried to stop the feeling I was having, because I knew I was wrong for what I was doing. He kissed me in such a passionate way, I cut the night short because I just felt funny about it. I couldn’t stop thinking
about the kiss, so I came clean with my boo and let him know what I thought he needed to know. Let’s say I didn’t tell him everything, but he still ended the relationship.
Honestly, I can’t blame him for wanting to end it. I carried on for a month or so with another man. Even though I tried to convince myself it was innocent, I knew what the deal was. I dated the other guy a while after, and the shit didn’t work out. Apparently, he thought I was going to diss him the way I dissed the other guy. I was emotionally cheating with him, so he thought I would do it with someone else. That was a very hard lesson to learn. When cheating don’t let the new guy know anything about your boo. **I kid, I kid*
Holla at me: Have you ever been in a situation where you found yourself stuck in a secret relationship?
Missy
Comment made on March 31, 2009 @ 9:56 am
Well with the new guy, I let him know there is someone else, but that is as far as it goes. I don't discuss nothing in details with them, to say the very least I don't much at alllll because what I realized with the newcomer, he uses your weakness and vulnerability to his advance. I am saying his intentions may not be good but the long and short of it is, you get caught up with each for the most part and he then wants you to himself, even though he knew about your main. I have emotionally cheated before and I can't lie, it is wrong but there are some people you just meet that give you this attraction out of this world and all you keep telling yourself, I really like this guy but I don't know why. I have learned never to tell none of your beaus nothing cause they like to "throw" things back in your face. If required to be honest I would but some things are better left not said. I am human, and not perfect but I wouldn't want to jeordize what I have…sounds greedy but we all have had slip ups that wasn't worth it!
GoodasGal
Comment made on April 19, 2009 @ 7:51 pm
I know my response to this post is super late, but I just found your blog. I can’t help myself, I had to comment as I’ve been thinking about this secret lover thing for the last few days. I know what I have to do…but damn it’s hard.
Anyways I met a dude while back in JA & the connection was super crazy. There was just something about him. Anyways sign #1 I probably should’ve ran for the hills was 1) he’s 34 (I’m 24, don’t normally date guys that old) and 2) he had 3 kids. Since I was leaving JA the next day & he didn’t have anyone to watch his kids, he asked if I had a problem with them coming. I think a normal woman would’ve ran for the hills…but not me, I went. Kids & all I had a good time & I think there was something just pulling me towards him. I have no clue what it was or is.
Anyways, when I returned back to NY he tells me he’s still with the mother of his kids…they’ve been together 13yrs. Despite all of this, I kept communicating with him on the regular. A few months later, he sends me a ticket to come back to JA. I should’ve said no, knowing his situation & of course going would only complicate things further. (BTW just so you don’t get the wrong it’s not cuz he buys me a ticket why I like him. I’m from JA so him buying me a ticket is not like some dude flying me all over the world, so there’s no real appeal/ gold digger mentality there).
My friends say I need to leave his a$$ alone & I know that. But it seems I just keep digging a bigger hole for myself. As much as I know I should leave him, I’ve been continuing this secret affair with him. It's not that i'm caught up on an emotional level with him, it's just his situation that trips me up. I just can't get down with being the side chick. So knowing all of this WTH I can't leave his a$$?