Single…Black…and Confused?

There is absolutly nothing wrong with being an independent black woman, but I think some women use their “independence” as a cover. Many single women shout “I’m independent. I got my own house, car and money. Yea I’m doing it for myself.” Hmmm last time I checked isn’t that what it means to be SINGLE? I don’t know how many of ya’ll will ride with me on what I’m about to say, but here goes. I think women confuse the term independent and they don’t realize all the shit they got is what a single woman is suppose to have. Then you have some women that use their “independence” to scare men away, then wonder why they can’t find any good men out there. Ya’ll confusing your damn selfs and chasing away any prospect for any long-term relationships.

I’m not saying there is anything wrong with how you view you. I’m just saying that the shit that you are doing is what you’re suppose to be doing anyway. If you were dependent on a man boo you’re married. Then there is the chick that says “I don’t need a man to be happy”. You’re absolutely right. You don’t need a man to be happy, but everyone needs companionship. This is why a lot of women become bitter; lack of companionship. I don’t know where this stigma developed in a woman’s brain that they don’t need anyone in their lives. That shit usually develops in their 20′s then when she realizes she’s 40 and still alone she starts tripping. All her friends have moved on and started families and the only thing she has is a big empty house and no one to snuggle with at night.

Again, don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that there is anything wrong with being single. There is nothing wrong with getting your shit together. I think this should be a good thing especially if you want to get married one day. I think everyone should bring something to the table. So many times you see women get married and all they have is a bag of clothes and no ambition. They want to sponge off of everything he has, and when the marriage dissolves she’s asking for half. If you met him with this shit, how dare you try to snatch half of it away? Just come into the marriage with your thangs right. Make sure that you secure some of your things, but still come together with him on others. You’re working as a team and in essence you’re dependent on each other. There is no “I” in TEAM. Do you see where I’m going with this?

Men want to feel like their needed. A good man wants to be able to one day provide for his family. If you show him in the beginning there is no way you can work together, he will surely pass you by. Women focus too much on “I”. They don’t realize that eventually down the line they would like to be a “We”. I know a lot of women that say “The n*ggas I know ain’t no damn good anyway, so why do I have to change my way of thinking”. First off, the n*ggas you know ain’t bout shit, so maybe it’s time you get to know MEN that are about their shit. You can’t expect to succeed as a team with a bullshit dude. If you’re judging every man out there by how a n*gga treated you, then that’s your bad. There are men out there that want to be a team and encourages you in every way. If you’re with a guy that just sits at home and plays f*cking video games all day, then you need to up your standards. Basically don’t settle for a bullshit ass man when you have too much potential.

I know I went all around the world with this one, but this has been on my chest for some time. No one can make it on their own forever. Eventually you’re gonna look around at your life and realized that you passed up on some great opportunities because you were too focused on “I”. So get your ends right boo, but remember in the long run no one wants to be single “independent” forever.