Still Single Guys? Here’s Why…Your Online Dating Profile F*!&king Sucks!

Sometimes I wonder if men really understand how stupid they are when it comes to trying to attract a woman. I mean sometimes ya’ll do some extra shit that ya’ll think makes you desirable, but it actually makes you look like an ass. Just like us women, there are men out here looking for that special someone. Rather than search high and low in the clubs, they’ve also turned to online dating as a means to meet women. They get online, set up their profiles and add their pics but they do it all kinds of wrong. Then they wonder why women read their messages, look at their profiles and never respond. Fellas, I’ve kept silent about this shit but dammit it’s time to spill the beans. I’m about to list  reasons why you never get play and it’s all because of the dumb shit you put on your online dating profile. After I do this you might want to go to your POF, BPM or Match profiles and correct some shit.

Your Wack Ass Pics~ Let me tell you something; I don’t care what you think, pics speak volumes. The first thing a woman does when she visits your profile is look at the pics. Not only is she trying to see what you look like, she’s also trying to get a sense of your style. Men make the biggest mistakes when it comes to profile pics.

1. Half nekkid pic~ Dude I do not require seeing your dick imprint in your tattered boxer-briefs. That is a direct turn off. I       remember one guy messaged me and said he’s interested in getting to know me but he must warn me his dick has caused him to be single. It’s too big and frightens women off. He then proceeded to attach a dick print picture. Like I give a significant f*ck that you got a big dick. Dude I do not care or give damn about your dictures. Obviously y0ur’e looking for a freak and thinking that you might buck up on one. *DELETED*

2. The Group Shot~It is so damn confusing when men post pics of themselves with their boys. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to know you have friends but does all your pics have to contain other men? Hell, you don’t even know who owns the profile. All the pics have a gaggle of kneegrows in it. Fellas, a woman likes to know that you can stand on your own. Damn take a pic of yourself once in a while. The next thing you know she’s feeling your homeboy second from the right and gets disappointed when she finds out your the ugly one with the box fade and corrective shoes.

3. You Had to Add A Bitch~ For the life of me I will never ever understand this. You’re on a dating website trying to find a woman, and you post a pic of you and some chick hugged up. Now mind you that can be your sister, your cousin or your transgender twin brother but how is a woman suppose to know? That is so misleading for anyone looking at your profile. Again, it may be innocent but as someone looking at your profile a woman will automatically think Ex-Girlfriend. Keep the bitches off your page. You might get more replies to your messages that way.

Who Da Hell Are You? ~ Since you took the steps to log into the site, add your height, body build and city why not put a little information about yourself? Just simply writing “I gets money” does not constitute as “A Little About Me”. I know writing about yourself can be a hassle, but online dating is basically selling yourself. You have to make her interested in wanting to get to know the man behind the words. If you ain’t got shit to say chances are you’re a waste of time and a woman refuses to waste her time in ain’t shit dudes.

You Do What For A Living?? Chile Stop~ You’re 35 years of age and you’re a rapper by profession? Give me a break. This is another turn-off for some women when it comes to online dating. If you don’t have a legitimate job then you gets no love. Your old ass is a rapper, yet you have no car and kids? You probably live at home with your momma or staying on your homeboy’s couch huh? Smh dude after a certain age you can’t claim to be a damn rapper no more. GET A FRIGGIN JOB ALREADY. The ship has sailed. Jay-Z ain’t signing you. You sir are not what’s hot in the streets.

You Make Your Profile Your Personal Diary~ Look I understand sometimes relationships may leave us feeling hurt. Maybe a little disappointed but please for the love of GOD keep that off of your profile. I read this profile one time that make me want to punch this dude right in the dick. He talked about being hurt and all the people in his life that has disappointed him. He talked about is parents, his cousins and every last woman he has ever been with doing him wrong. Then he says at the end “Promise me you won’t hurt me like the rest of them.” Don’t that shit sound a little psychotic to you? Like if you give him play and decide you’re no longer interested he will hunt you down, kill you and bury you in the backyard? The idea is to grab the attention of a woman, not scare her to death. Keep that shit to yourself. Once you actually meet and get to know a woman, share what you will. Just don’t do it like right that second. *Deleted*

Do You Even Care To Know My Name?~ One thing I cannot stand when it comes to online dating are the pushy ass men. They send you one message and before you can even reply they send you or ask for your phone number. Sir do you even know my name? Do you even care? Just sending a message like “Hey nice pics here’s my number” will get you a straight up ignore. Can you actually get to know me before asking or giving me your number? I’m not gonna call you and you damn sure ain’t getting my digits. Some women like to have actual online conversations first before they feel comfortable giving out their numbers.

Ladies: To be on the safe side set up a Google Voice account and they will give you a number that links to your cell phone. That shit helps weed out the crazy ass men you meet online. Plus they don’t have your real number so they can’t sweat you like that.

Men, I hope this has helped some of you. Some of the things you do online just make you look so unattractive. You can say “Well if she got to know me she will see I’m a good guy.” That may be all well and good, but when it comes to online dating your profile is EVERYTHING. The second a woman catches something that doesn’t look right you’re automatically disqualified from the race. I’m not saying to lie all up and through your profile, but in honesty that’s what a lot of people do. I always talk about when two people meet for the first time rather than be themselves they introduce their representatives. They pretend to be the people they’re not just so the other person can find them desirable. The second they become an item the real them comes out that’s why you always hear “He changed” or “She’s acting differently since we became official.” Naw you’re getting the real them, it’s just if they were real from the jump you wouldn’t like their crazy asses.

Hopefully you modify your profiles and if you do you might see more responses in your inbox. The trick is to entice a woman not scare her away. I hope this helped someone out there cause gawd knows you probably can’t get a woman if you paid her.