Ask VI~My Curiosity is Killing My Honey Box

Dear VI,

My and I boyfriend have been together for a year and I’m totally satisfied with our sex life, but I have always been a little curious about what it would be like to be with another woman. I don’t think I would be comfortable with him being involved but my curiosity is growing more and more. Just as a joke I asked him if he wanted to have a threesome with me and another woman, he said he’d been there done that but would never do that with me because he loves me. I would never cheat on him but how do I go about telling him I’m interested in women?

Ready To Be Licked

Dear RTBL, 

You are in a bind, because the longer your curious the worse off you will be. It’s natural to be curious of the “forbidden”. Your issue is what will happen if your man found out you did it behind his back. He obviously isn’t interested in doing that with you, but you won’t be able to get the thought of it out of your head. How do you think your man would react if you told him that YOU wanted to experiment with a woman? Don’t make it about him, let him see that YOU are the one interested in the experience and you want to share it with him.  If he says no then the choice is yours. You’re either gonna end the curiosity to give in to it. Either way you should express to him your desires. If he’s your man and he loves you he won’t dismiss you and what you have to say. Now just because he listens doesn’t mean he’ll agree to it, but at least you put it out there. 

I really hope I’ve helped you in some way. The decision is ultimately yours to make, so I hope you make the right one that will be in your best interest. Keep me posted.

Would You Date A Bisexual *Bi* Guy?

bisexuality

I ain’t knocking anyone’s lifestyle, but if you’re bi you ain’t my guy. I really don’t believe men can be bi. Let me rephrase that, either you’re gay or your not. If you’ve been in a relationship/sexual with another man, then you’re gay. I am an advocate for gay rights, and will march with the gays in a minute. The ability to swing both ways is a choice.  I notice that there is a epidemic going around with women knowingly dating “bi” men. They know that he’s into men, but don’t give no parts of a flying fuck. Baby dolls, if you like it I love it. I know I can’t knowingly date a bi guy.

I cannot date a bi guy because…I don’t wanna fuck with someone that loves dick just as much as I do. I already gotta compete with other chicks, now I gotta compete with men too? Naw baby, that’s just too  much work. I’m just not about that life. I’ve never dated a bi guy, but I had a friend that did…well she didn’t know he was down with it. He wasn’t on the DL, he just didn’t openly tell her that he sucked dick too. When she met him, she thought he was wonderful. He was affectionate, not afraid to show emotions and put it down in the bedroom. I can honestly say she was really into him, but when I met him that was something about him that just stood out. I don’t know what it was, but he seemed too concerned about her past relationships. I know some men want to know about your former this and that, but he was more focused on the sexual aspect. He wanted to know if she ever did a threesome M/M/F or how was the sex with so and so. I don’t know I thought that was weird, but I didn’t say anything. I know as a friend you should be able to go to your friend and tell her, but she was not trying to hear me. Whenever she gets “involved” she gets too involved too quickly, and no matter what you say will be looked at as “hating.” So I kept my thoughts to myself and prayed that I was wrong.

So one night while we were out the shit went to hell. We were chillin one night when she got a call on her phone. She answered the phone and it was some dude that asked to speak with her. She figured it was some dude she met a while back and gave her number, but she wasn’t sure. Dude proceeded to ask her how did she know the guy she was dating and did she know that the guy was in a relationship…with him. At first she thought he was bullshittin, but dude told her facts and dates and shit and she knew it wasn’t a lie. I’m sitting their dumbfounded because I knew something was up, but I was hoping that shit wasn’t true. She was now so hysterical she called him and asked him if it was true and all he said was “I thought you knew I was bisexual?” Look here, I ain’t never seen a black chick turn red with rage before. She cussed his ass out, called him every name in the book then hung up. A few days later after it had time to process she remembered certain conversations they had and it did make sense, but she ignored it. She confessed that the sex was so damn good, but some of the things he wanted done to him seemed a little suspect but she just chucked it up to him being a freak. I asked her if he came out and told you he was bi in the beginning would you still date him? These were her words “If he told me from the beginning that he was bisexual, yes I would have continued to date him. I liked him that much.” Men don’t seem to realize not giving the other person the option to choose makes it worse when they find out. If he was upfront with her, apparently she would have stayed because she was into him that much. He never gave her the option right out the gate, he just took that away from her. Playing games with her and playing games with his boyfriend.

Again, I don’t know how some of you women do it. It’s just not for me, but if you down with sharing then more power boo. Again, if you like it I love it just not for me.

Holla at me: Have you ever or would you ever date a bi guy if he came out to you in the beginning? 

Ant In The Streets Twone In The Sheets

*Snapping Fingers* Welcome to the Diary of A Mad Guest Blogger. This is a segment where we feature readers/bloggers that got thangs to say. I want you to give a special hand to “That Chick”.

I’ve been hooked on the Diary and I thought I should share this with my fellow readers. Okay…I never thought it would come to this but heterosexual men today are scant. Now as a black female, sadly it appears that black heterosexual’s are far and in between.  The reason for this lack of straight men is inexplicable. I don’t know if it’s because we women aren’t keeping it tight enough or that it’s in the blood. Now what I am about to say may make or break the relationship you are in right now as it did mine. Hopefully your relationship withstands this test.

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Ask V.I.~ Being Gay is Preventing Me From Being Straight

Dear V.I.,

I am currently in a relationship with a female. We have been together for five years (going on 6 next month) off and on. The relationship is coming to end and I feel I must move on. My relationship is coming to a end because we both have trust issues. We fight and fuss a lot. I also feel that I have grown as a person and she hasn’t. In the past I have dated males and females sexually/emotionally and was unsure which direction I should go towards.

The issues I have with both:

Males:
Very fertile, sex is boring and doesn’t last long.

Females:
Usually happy but not content, sex is okay but the use of toys dries me out.

Not sure which direction to go….Please help

Literally Confused,

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Ask V.I.~ Lost In My Thoughts *Vintage*

confused

Dear V.I. ,

I know you mostly cater to women when you write, but I needed some advice about something. I’m a 24 year old man with a lot going for him. I have my own place, have a great job, and drama-free. I’ve been in a exclusive relationship with a beautiful woman for the past year, but there is a problem. Lately, I’ve found myself attracted to men. I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t think I’ve ever felt it this strong before. I’d be at the gym and find myself staring really hard at this one guy.

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