Love no matter what the color is never easy. Learning the in’s and outs of the person you’re with can sometimes create a distorted view of men in general. This is generally said about black men. Black men like any other man on this planet are not easily understood. Although most men are from Mars and some from the slums of Jupiter *that was a bad joke*, there is a formula to loving each and every one of them. Many women can never understand the process it takes to love a real black man. Some women think nagging, drama and good pussy is the way to keep a black man at bay. A real woman knows how to love a real man.

Many people also think there should be no difference in loving a black man. He is a man after all; but there actually is a difference. Black men have been degraded and plucked from the family for years. I can actually say growing up I never had a stable male figure in my life. My father like many fathers were absent from the family structure. So many women became both father and mother to many unknowing children. With the lack of the family dynamic many children *boys and girls* grew up not knowing about how to appreciate the opposite sex. I didn’t know how to love a black man, but  as the years went by I realized that loving a black is actually not as difficult as I thought. There is no concrete formula to loving a black man…a real black man. Just because he’s black and refers to his penis as “Killa” does not mean he is deserving of your love. When you find a true man that deserves everything you give him and vice versa, then and only then can you fully open your heart and show him how you love. Here are a few ways you can learn how to love a black man.

1. Show Him You’re For Him, Not Against Him~ Sometimes a man needs support. I’m not talking  about the lazy no good n*ggas sitting on the couch, without a job while you work 2 just to put food on the table. I’m talking about a man that is motivated in his goals, and needs a cheerleader by his side. It’s very discouraging no matter who you are to have NO ONE believe in you. Don’t be so quick to dismiss his hopes…his dreams. When things go good or bad you should be the first person he wants to talk to. You bring out the passion in him.

2. Get the Drama Away~ Ladies, men don’t do drama.  * clears throat* Ladies, real men don’t do drama. One thing you find when it comes to a man is THEY’RE THE MOST SIMPLEST CREATURES ON THE FACE OF THIS EARTH. If you bring too much unnecessary baggage to the relationship their minds seem to shut down and everything will change. Keep it as simple as possible. It makes things easier when it comes to taking that next step.

3. Let him take the lead~ This should be number one, but if it’s one thing I can’t stand is a man not being A MAN. I’ve encountered men that act like bitches because other women allowed them to act like bitches. There are men out there that want to be that head…the man of the house. I think the fact that women have been doing it by themselves for so long, it can be a bit difficult for us to give up our status as “head” to a man. I say if that man wants to provide, let him provide. Give him the respect he deserves if he’s doing what he should be doing as the man in your life. Respect him and he will respect you.

4. Give Him Time~ Sometimes a man needs time to himself. A woman sometimes gets so focused on what a man is thinking that she doesn’t give him time to actually think. A man needs time to process his emotions. Nagging him continuously to say how he feels is just gonna make him keep everything in more and  more. If a man wants to say something, trust me…He will say it.

5. Not saying “I Love You” is saying “I Love You~ Ok we’ve discussed how some men do have problems expressing themselves. Although a man may be reluctant to say I love you everyday doesn’t men he doesn’t love you. A man sometimes uses his actions as a way to show a woman how he really feels. Don’t be too quick to disregard these actions. A man isn’t going to waste time on a woman who doesn’t appreciate what he has to offer.

6. Don’t Try To Change Him~ For some reason a woman thinks she is the answer that will change a man for the better. A man can’t change unless he wants to change. If you can’t accept a man for who he is, then there is no need to continue the relationship. A man wants to know a woman can love him for him despite all his flaws. He’s your perfect imperfection.

No one said loving another person was gonna be easy. It takes a strong couple to get this love thing on the right course. I just gave a few helpful tips, but there is so much more that comes with it. I know a lot of people expected me to discuss the sexual aspect of it. It’s no damn secret all men love sex. They actually love sex more than they love to eat…um hmmm. Ok yea…so that is a given. Ladies, men would love to be in a loving relationship just as much as you do, but if you don’t know how to properly love him then the relationship won’t work.

Candy Diaries has decided to devote this week to “Black Love” Week. This is the week where we tackle the the  issues dealing with romance in the black community. We will disclose the myths and hopefully energize the hearts. Some people think black love is dead, but we’ve seen many successful couples who’ve defied the odds and gotten their love on track. If you believe in the power of Black Love, then I hope you chime in this week. If you’ve totally given up and believe that there is no longer such a thing as love period…please chime in.

Enjoy!!!!

“Can you hear me? Can you hear me now?” 43% of  relationships end due to lack of communication. How often do you hear “he/she never listen to me” and “they did and we connected” when discussing the demise of a relationship. Men and women want the same things in relationships, it’s just communicated differently at times. Have you ever had a conversation where you’ve clearly stated you want, but gotten the exact opposite in return.

Merely a bad connection…as if you were driving through a tunnel with music blasting but still trying to take the call. But this person is sitting right in front of you. I think it’s best to be up front in relationships, so there is no “mistaking” the intend of either party….COMMUNICATION is key! And once you’ve lost that it’s just as if you’ve lost your cellular signal…*SCREAMING* “Can you hear me, Can you hear me now….” *shrug* Guess it’s a “Bad Connection”.

How’s your signal?,