At a certain age a woman knows what she wants in life. She knows what type of career, the type of guy she wants to be with even how when she’s gonna give him the green light to pleasure her cooch. Whatever it is trust and believe homegirl is gonna get it. That’s the beauty of being grown, you make the choices and regardless of the consequences you live with these choices. You do what’s right for you. Women always know what they want, but when it comes to a sensitive subject like kids; why does a woman’s decision not to have any always looked at as crazy?
Believe it or not, but there are some women out here that just don’t want to be parents. I still don’t understand how folks are shocked by that? There are women who are happy and content with just being who she is and not “mommy”. These women catch a lot of flack because supposedly every woman should have a motherly instinct when that’s farther from the truth. Those women who don’t want kids have their reasons and it’s valid to them. The question becomes “How can a woman who doesn’t want kids fall in love with a man that does?” Many times I’ve said that as human beings you can’t help who you fall in love. As a woman do you sacrifice his wants and desires for your relationship or do you let go of the man you love because your future doesn’t coincide with what he wants? It’s a hard decision to make, but having a child just to keep a man will not only make your life miserable, but will do the same to the child.
As I write this I’m reminded of the show “Girlfriends” with Joan and Brock. If you weren’t an avid watcher of the show, let me give you the skinny. Joan met Brock while she was dating an actor named Ellis. Instantly the two fell in love…like love at first sight type of shit. I said this was a tv show so you know shit like that only happens on tv…but I digress. Ellis wanted Joan to meet his manager and low and behold guess who’s Ellis’s manager…you guessed it Brock. So now they’re both in an uncomfortable position because they never told Ellis that they met before his introduction. Anyway fast forward, Joan left Ellis and was now in love and quickly got engaged to Brock. Now everyone who watched the show knew Joan was a neurotic, self-conscience lawyer who desperately wanted to get married and have kids. Well Brock gave her the ring and burst her bubble all in the same breath. He told her that he doesn’t want to have kids. Joan pretended to accept it, and thought once they got married maybe he would change his mind. Brock told her his mind will not be swayed and that’s his stance…he doesn’t want to be a parent. Now Joan had to decide if she could stay with the love of her life and never know the joys of motherhood or dump Brock and hopefully find the man of her dreams who wanted the family. Well she made the decision to end it. It was the hardest one she had to make but she didn’t want to go through a marriage resenting him.
I gave that long ass synopsis of the show to say that, when it comes down to it you have to do what’s right for you. If you did get married to a man that wanted kids and you didn’t, would you or even could you be upset if he got someone else pregnant? You both knew the other person’s wants and needs before you decided to walk down the aisle, just because you’re married should the wants and needs of both parties be dissolved? Can you live and be happy as a mother knowing deep down that’s not the path you wanted to take? These are the questions a woman in this situation must ask herself. The real question is can you live with the choices you made at the end of the day? That’s why couples need to have that talk before they commit to something serious. Then you’ll know if you two are on the same page in life and if things did or did not happen then what would be the next step.
Holla at me: Do you think a woman is being selfish in a relationship if she decides that she doesn’t want kids?
