So last night while on twitter I saw this tweet: “Tionna Smalls telling females to keep at least 3 dudes at a time while dating is the same reason why they’ll remain single”. Now since it is Date Week on the site I thought this would be a great topic to discuss. I got into a debate with the person who tweeted that *which happens to be a man*, because he feels when you’re dating someone you’re in a relationship. I totally disagreed because I feel to date allows you to have options. A person can date more than one person, because until you’re in an exclusive relationship with them you’re still single. Many people will view this topic differently, but just because we’ve been going out are we automatically a “couple”?

“Dating is a form of human courtship consisting of social activities done by two persons with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse”.

The act of dating is getting to know someone to see if they fit what you’re looking for in a partner. Just because we went on three dates does not mean we’re instantly together. My friend on twitter argued that you can never really get to know someone if you’re involved with multiple people. Again I disagree, because being single is having the right to have options. If I met 3 different men, and I have 2 separate dates with each by date 3 I already know who I click with and who I don’t. When you put all your eggs in one basket, you find yourself back at square one when it doesn’t work out. When did two people going out on a date become so damn technical? It’s like people can’t go out without turning it in to an instant relationship. Don’t get me wrong, if it ends up that we are totally into each other then that’s great, but just because we’ve been out a few times doesn’t make me yours. It’s like going to a club and a man buys you a drink and now he automatically thinks you’re his woman.

There are some people that just date casually. Either way you have to allow yourself the ability to see what’s out there. I made it clear to my friend that dating doesn’t always mean you’re having sex with that person. When you involve sex it makes it all the more complicated because that comes with intimate emotions. I’m talking about the people who only view dating as dating and leave the sexual aspect out of it. Then he said if he’s dating a woman they’re now in a relationship and he would be upset if she’s seeing other people. Until we discuss being in a exclusive relationship, we don’t go together. Why are people skipping over that step? I thought when you want to be in a committed relationship with someone you discuss it and agree to be monogamous? Or is that just something I prefer? I don’t want anyone assuming shit about what we are doing. If we have had a few dates and we both want to take it to another level then it’s all good, let’s work on being in a relationship. If we went out a few times, but the vibe still isn’t really there then why would I want to be involved romantically with you? The issue is, some people string the other person along and they’re thinking they’re in a relationship when the other person isn’t.

Dating is like the first audition  and then you may or may not get a call back for the second audition which is the relationship. When you got the job…that’s marriage. Dating is what you do to lead to marriage, so why not have options so you end up with the right fit for you? I’m single now so I’m planning on dating until I find someone I gel with. I don’t belong to a soul until I agree to be with someone. I always tell the people I’m dating that I’ve been out on dates with other people. If they feel because we met for a drink that I am now his girl and he wants to cuss me out for going out with other people then bye bye to his ass. How you gonna keep someone that never even know they were being kept? For all my single people out there…enjoy dating. If you still haven’t found the one person that makes your insides bubble, then there is nothing wrong with meeting new people. It’s called playing the field. You’re single you have that right. Until you find someone that does everything to your insides that you want to feel then you can decide if you just want to continue dating that person or not. All relationship decisions have to be made mutually. Don’t assume shit because assumptions are the mother of all f*ck ups.

When you’re dating someone, do you feel that you’re automatically in a relationship with them?

*Snapping Fingers* Welcome to the Diary of A Mad Guest Blogger. This is a segment where we feature readers/bloggers that got thangs to say. I want you to give a special hand to Tesha.

Just because you can get him to cum, doesn’t mean that you’re necessarily good in bed.

I remember watching an episode of Sex and the City, where Charlotte was distraught because the man she was sleeping with fell asleep while he was still in flagrante delicto. I also remember having a conversation with a friend of mine about her being scared to sleep with a guy she knew was well experienced because she feared that she wasn’t good enough in bed. I told her well if you are fearful of not being good, more than likely it’s because you aren’t or you lack experience.

Mean, I know but how do you know if you are good in bed honestly?

Can you be sure when he busts? Is it based on if he curls his toes? Is it how he reciprocates?

As if we didn’t have enough to think about during sex….

Luckily for us women, men can’t fake busting a nut, but unfortunately they can fake being into you and the moment. Just because he busts doesn’t mean you gave him that good. It simply means you got him hard enough to climax….and that’s it.

There’s nothing wrong with admitting to yourself that you aren’t at your best sexually, but you have to take it upon yourself to learn where your faults are and how to be a better lover. Some men won’t be bothered with a woman that is too insecure or unreceptive, other men won’t mind helping you get better as long as you are open enough to accept his help.

From talking with some male colleagues, there are some things men do that determines whether or not you are good in bed.

If he:

Cums quick

Doesn’t really pay attention to pleasing you

Looks dejected

Doesn’t call you back/ avoids calls

Seems distant/ spacey

More than likely you’re not good in bed and you can forget sleeping with him again.

However, if he:

Begs to see you again

Lasts as long as you last

Goes above and beyond pleasing you

Is always ready and willing to have sex

Has multiples (and yes, men can have multiple orgasms too)

When he cums not only does he make “the face,” he squeals (lol)

Then CONGRATULATIONS you are great in bed!!!

Charlotte, of Sex and the City, decided to take a sex class. By the end of the episode, her man was begging her to stop pleasing him…but not really.

What are some ways you can tell you are good in bed?

You can contact Tesha over on her blog http://www.teshasdairy.blogspot.com

Get at her on twitter: http://www.twitter.com/LegendNthaMakn

Ladies and gentlemen, I bring to you the must have of Summer 2010…Intimate Organics Discover G-Spot Gel. This is for all the men out there who have trouble locating a lady’s whatchamacallit. This gel apparently is guaranteed to make your night of sexual pleasure result in an orgasm or two.

Product Features:

1. Certified blend organic extracts

2. Increases the size and sensitivity of the G-Spot.

3. Latex condom-friendly.

4. Safe to ingest.

I think this product is a must try for any couple. Even if your wang can find the g-spot isn’t everything better when bigger? You can click the buy now link below. Also, just cause I love ya I wanna give you guys a treat. Take advantage of these coupons..”JULYFREESHIP” – Free shipping on any product in the store and “JULY20pct” – 20% off any product in your shop. These coupons cannot be used simultaneously, but they can use them on ANY item in The CanDi Store. These offers are valid until July 30, 2010. Enjoy!!

It is so beautiful to see love in bloom. You look at each other and there is a twinkle in your eyes. You hold hands while walking down the street. You even spend long hours on the phone talking about anything you can think of. So you’re out somewhere just being your cute selves and he bumps into someone he knows. In your head it’s clear that you’re more than just a chick he’s kicking it with, but it hasn’t been defined. So like I said, he bumps into someone he knows and he introduces you as HIS FRIEND. *Blankness and Despair* Wait hold up!!!!!! Now at this point you don’t want to look like an ass so you just smile and pretend that you’re cool with the title, knowing deep down you wanna punch him in the dick for calling you his “friend”.

This shit can just kill any type of romance between two people. Here you two are acting like love done found ya’ll and the next thing you know he’s telling people oh you’re just his special friend. How embarrassing is that shit? If you’re clearly more than just friends why don’t you just get the role dilemma cleared. I’ve been called the friend before and I didn’t understand why. I was dating this guy for months. At this point we’ve slept together, hell we even felt like we were in love. The problem was we never defined our relationship. We just went ahead and allowed it to flow because it seemed easier. One day while together his phone rang. I guess the person asked him what he was doing and he said “Oh just chilling with my friend”. If ya’ll could have seen the look on my face. I looked like the f*cking exorcist bitch. I think my head spun around and I looked at his ass cross eyed. How in the hell can you call me a friend knowing the type of relationship we had? After he got off of the phone I asked him about it and he said “You know how we are. We don’t have to define it for anyone else”. So basically you’re saying you don’t have a problem f*cking me, calling me baby and shit, but for people to know I’m your woman is too much? SMH and men wonder why women get rid of their asses.

This goes both ways also. A woman introducing a man as just her friend knowing that she’s giving that dick frequent lip service. I just think people need to define their relationships before the other person ends up surprised. If you both decide that you’re not ready for a relationship and the “friend” status is something that you both agree upon then why not? Springing it on someone in front of other’s is a kick in the groin. You know you obviously have feelings for the person, but you don’t want anyone else to know? Yo, how old are you where you’re worried about what other people think? There might be some of you out there embarrassed by your boo, so you don’t want people to know. Obviously, you see something in that person to make you want to be around them, but you think you’re too cool for school so you gotta keep up appearances? GTFOH with that bullshit. If we’re f*cking, dammit we go together. I’m introducing your ass as my man. If you got a problem with it, then you’re f*cking the wrong chick.

Holla at me: Have you ever been with someone and they introduced you as the “friend” when you clearly thought you were more?