Ask VI~My Curiosity is Killing My Honey Box

Dear VI,

My and I boyfriend have been together for a year and I’m totally satisfied with our sex life, but I have always been a little curious about what it would be like to be with another woman. I don’t think I would be comfortable with him being involved but my curiosity is growing more and more. Just as a joke I asked him if he wanted to have a threesome with me and another woman, he said he’d been there done that but would never do that with me because he loves me. I would never cheat on him but how do I go about telling him I’m interested in women?

Ready To Be Licked

Dear RTBL, 

You are in a bind, because the longer your curious the worse off you will be. It’s natural to be curious of the “forbidden”. Your issue is what will happen if your man found out you did it behind his back. He obviously isn’t interested in doing that with you, but you won’t be able to get the thought of it out of your head. How do you think your man would react if you told him that YOU wanted to experiment with a woman? Don’t make it about him, let him see that YOU are the one interested in the experience and you want to share it with him.  If he says no then the choice is yours. You’re either gonna end the curiosity to give in to it. Either way you should express to him your desires. If he’s your man and he loves you he won’t dismiss you and what you have to say. Now just because he listens doesn’t mean he’ll agree to it, but at least you put it out there. 

I really hope I’ve helped you in some way. The decision is ultimately yours to make, so I hope you make the right one that will be in your best interest. Keep me posted.

Did Curiosity Kill Your Relationship?

snooping

Have you ever suspected that your partner was cheating? What did you do? Check his pockets, snoop through his cell phone or followed him without his knowledge? There are some women that think tailing a man and clocking his every move will make him faithful. If you think a man is cheating, there is no evidence you need to search for….you already know. No matter how clear the evidence is a woman just isn’t satisfied until she digs and digs. The issue is, when you dig you always find what your looking for and you always hate yourself in the end for ever doing it.

The thing about the truth is…it always comes out. You don’t need to search for it, what’s always done in the dark comes into the light. I don’t snoop and shit. Reason being is because I know if your doing shit behind my back it will eventually come out. Men always end up hanging themselves in the end. Now when I was younger, say 18-19 years old and unseasoned in the way of men and their bullshit I can admit I snooped. I was dating this guy and knew he was cheating, but he denied it every chance he got. When a woman knows, a woman knows. I still needed to find proof although every fiber in my being was telling me what I already knew. Anytime I was left alone in his room I checked his shit. I snooped in his drawers, checked his pockets and even checked his beeper. *Shit it was the 90’s and cell phones were only used by drug dealers and their fancy ass girlfriends* I remember I found a letter by this chick that he told me he was no longer seeing. She professed her love for him and blah blah blah. Then I found a recent pic of them taken in the same bedroom that I was currently in snooping. I know the shit was recent because of the date on the pic. I cried like a bitch because I had my “proof” but didn’t feel any better. I searched and searched, found what I was looking for and at that moment I wish I never did.

At that moment I learned to follow my gut. Trust in my mind and not my heart when it comes to things like that. After that any time I dated someone and I had the feeling they were living foul, I never brought it up. I sat back and watched the game unfold. A man that cheats will always fuck up. Most of the time it’s not them telling, it’s the women they cheat with telling you the whole business. One thing about the other woman…she always wants to be the only woman. The quicker she can knock you out of the race, the better off she thinks she is in the situation. The sad clingy bitch will always tell, but by the time she tells you your mind is already hip to what’s up. Snooping around only hurts you and make you seem insecure. Plus you look like a damn fool following him everywhere he goes. One thing a man can’t stand is a woman clocking his every move. One thing that makes a man crumble and cry is a woman that acts like she doesn’t give a shit when she kicks his ass to the curb. The key is to show him that he lost something that can’t be replaced. A man damn sure will realize what he had when he doesn’t have it no more.

Holla at me: Have you ever snooped to find out if your partner was cheating? What did you find?