The dating scene ain’t sh*t. I ain’t telling you what I heard, I’m telling you what I know. Although I’ve been out of the dating scene for a little over two I remember that monster all too well. The problem is, if you’re interested in dating with a purpose you have to weed through a lot of the bullsh*t people you encounter. You meet a series of random “potentials” that turn out to be Peter Gunz f*ck boy interns. There are also times when you seem to meet the “perfect” match (I put quotations because there is no such thing as a perfect person, IMO) but they’re going through some other mess in their life and getting involved would just be a waste of everyone’s time. Yea, it’s hard out here for a sista that just wants to fall in love. When I was hopelessly single, one day I decided to turn my dating dilemma into just dating for pleasure.
This question has come up time and time again. Is it ok to date a friend’s ex even if your friend didn’t have an issue with it? Some people have said that there should be a “code” among friends that should prevent the other from even going down that road. Then on the other side you have others saying if “the relationship didn’t work out, there is a chemistry between the two and there is no love lost with your friend and her ex… so why not?” Something like this can break up a pleasant friendship, but I think every situation is different. Here are a few instances where I think dating an ex of a friend might not be such a bad thing.
My auntie Patti done went and took a dip in the kiddie pool. Patti Labelle (my auntie in my head) 71, is currently dating 41-year-old Eric Seats. The couple have reportedly been dating for a year and a half and are happy in love. Not only is Mr.Seats her “Right Kind of Lover” he is also a drummer in her band. They’re so hot and heavy, he moved from L.A to Philadelphia to be closer to her.
I don’t have a problem with women on a particular age getting their grooves back, I do however hope that the man has the right intentions. This message is for Eric and I mean this with my whole entire heart:
IF YOU EVER IN YOUR BLACK ASS LIFE HURT THE GOD GIVEN TREASURE THAT IS MY AUNTIE PATTI I WILL COME TO WHERE EVER YOU’RE AT AND F*CK YOU UP ON SIGHT. YOU WILL NOT USE AND ABUSE MY PATTI. IF YOU DO I WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL. NOW DRUM ABOUT THAT.
Anyway check out the pics of Patti and her boo. I’m watching you Eric Seats.
Let’s not pretend ladies, we’ve all tried to mark our territory when it came to dating. The second you give him the good shit, in your mind ya’ll go together. Spending nights at his crib and vice versa, cute texts back and forth throughout the day. Even cooking his favorite meals just to show him you know how to take care of a man. This is the dating stage; where you’re not in an exclusive relationship, but you’ll get upset if you found out that their seeing other people. If you’re aware of them dating others, you may do extra things to make yourself look like the better choice. With that being said some women leave small sexual souvenirs just to make sure if there is another b*tch she knows that she’s not the only one. Also, it’s another way to make the relationship a little more serious if she has things at his house. The real test is for him. Will he keep your souvenir in plain sight or will he give it back to you so it won’t create conflict?
Are you into relationship labels? Do you feel like once you’ve been chose, you want the whole world to know it? For many women that is a common assertion. If you’re involved with someone and it’s just you and them, making it official is the next logical step right? What if he doesn’t believe in labeling what you two have going on? You’ve been in this stage for months and you’re still just considered friends. What can be the reason he’s not into labeling the relationship?
We’ve all been there. We’ve all been the back pocket girl one time in our lives. Please don’t confuse this with being a side chick. This is an entirely different circumstance. I know you’ve dated or been in a relationship with someone who did thangs to you. He came into your life, made you feel all good then disappeared like he owed you back child support. You’re left so confused and hurt over the disrespect. After months of replaying everything that you obviously missed while you were together you finally move on. The second your thoughts stopped lingering on the man who left you standing there looking a fool, he reappears like nothing ever happened. You are left even more confused and frustrated because you’ve finally got to the point where you were good. Now this. Men do this shit all the time. You may have wondered why is this happening and what made him come back. Oh girl the answer is simple. You’re the back pocket girl. The sooner you realize that, the better.