Ok so I’m a mother of two and I’m finishing college in 4 months . I want to move to Boston to start over, get a career, house  and have the kids grow up in the right place. I’m in a  relationship and the guy I’m with is great with the kids, great to me and he works two jobs. He’s a great guy, but he doesn’t want to move right now and he wants to wait until he’s ready in has his career n etc. Plus he’s not ready to live with me and be serious the way I want.

Then I have my ex that’s in love with me and my kids. He wants to be with us and would even move with us only thing is I’m not sure how it would work out. He’s a little to much on my ass for me and I’m not too sure of him career wise . Should I wait until my boyfriend is ready which might not be until 3 or 4 yrs? He says things can change as our relationship progresses. Do you think I should bring my ex who’s ready for what I want now?

Ready Yet Confused

Dear RYC,

Your priorities are on the wrong things. You want to move to provide a better life for you and your kids, but the man your with isn’t ready or willing to make that move. Screw him! You have to do what’s best for you and your kids. If he’s not on the same page then he has to get left behind. Maybe he just isn’t the right one. If he loved you enough to start a life with you, you wouldn’t be writing this email.You should not allow a man to dictate how you live. Sure you love him and he seems perfect, but if he’s not ready to make that kind of commitment, waiting 3 years for that day to come is a waste of time.

I’m not sure why you feel that you need a man around to move with you, but honey you need to get out of that mentality. You have an ex that you don’t even want, but you’re debating if he should move with you because he says he’s ready? Why would you even consider that option? It’s like you don’t care who moves with you, you just want someone there. The thing is you’re afraid to do this by yourself. You need that person there as a insurance that things will go ok, but it’s not how life is sometimes. You have to step out on faith. If you want to make this happen, you have to make this happen. If your man isn’t on the same page then it’s ok. Sometimes we have to let go to receive a bigger blessing, but you can’t stay on a maybe. Maybe he will be ready in 3 years or maybe in 2 you find yourself single. You can’t bank on a maybe. You need to focus on what’s best for you and your babies, because at the end of the day that’s the only people you should be worried about.

I really hope I’ve helped you in some way. The decision is ultimately yours to make, so I hope you make the right one that will be in your best interest. Keep me posted.

Thanks