Sexing Your Ex While Dating Your Next

couple in bed

I swear some people just jump into other relationships for the shear purpose of not being alone. You get into another relationship claiming your over your last, but on the low you’re still jumping into your ex’s bed. There is no way you can move forward if your vagina is still stuck on the former tenant. Getting over a past relationship is a very emotional task. Love can’t just go away because you’re no longer capable of being involved with that person. Things like that take time. The issue is getting involved in another relationship while you’re still emotionally torn is just plain ol messy. Why would you allow yourself to hurt someone who has nothing to do with your drama, when you know good and damn well the past isn’t really the past?

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When Is It The Right Time To Move In Together?

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Is it me or folks have started shacking up left and right? It’s like folks get so in their feelings about their partner and they have to play house for fear that the hours they are apart might change the other person’s feelings. I know love is a splendid thing, there is no “I” in team and cake is made out of baby tears and love but some couples make that huge step too soon and realize the shit was a mistake when the relationship starts swirling down the drain. I am all for taking that next big step but when is it too soon to move in together? 

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Must Read! Single? 10 Tips to Finding Love in 2011

*Snapping Fingers* Welcome to the Diary of A Mad Guest Blogger. This is a segment where we feature the blogger that got thangs to say. Please give it up for Shay Moore of Atlanta’s own V-103.

Was one of your New Year’s Resolutions to find love in 2011?  Click more to read 10 tips that may just help you snag a boo before 2012! I’ve been blessed to have been in some pretty great relationships and blessed as well to have been in some bad ones.  I don’t consider myself an expert by any means, but I have learned some useful information on attracting, dating and maintaining committed relationships from other women, books, seminars, and even my pastor at church.  I decided to share 10 Tips to help you find love in 2011! Continue reading

Ask V.I.~Too Many Men, So Little Time

Dear V.I.,

I have a problem with two guys. For almost 4 years I didn’t have a man in my life. It has just been me and my son. So, I felt it was time for me to get out and meet guys.

I meet this one guy, and we talked for a while. He told me from the start that he wasn’t looking for a serious relationship. He just wanted to hang out with me, which was fine. It allowed me to see what was out there. The more we talked to each other and hung out, we got more attracted to each other sexually. After we decided that we would have sex, it was always something that kept us from doing it.  He work nights, so our times were always conflicting even before the sex came up. He stopped calling and answering my messages. I figured he may have found someone else and wasn’t in to me anymore, so, I moved on.

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Are You Too Afraid To Approach?

I might be stuck in the dark ages, but I always lived by the motto “I’m the girl”. Meaning I am the woman so I should not have to approach a guy. He must somehow sense that I want to talk to him and approach me even if there is a threat of rejection. Although that might sound sensible in my head most people think I am crazy when I say it out loud. I just didn’t feel the need to make a move, but there was an instance I had to suck it up and do what I had to do.

Back in the day I never approached a guy first. I would have a crush on you for 18 years, but if you never approached me you wouldn’t know it. I am shy!!! Yes contrary to popular belief I am shy like shit. I am not really all up on expressing my feelings and all that female shit. So, if I was digging on someone that’s about all I was doing. I thought this was the way to go because why the hell should I approach if I am the chick in this here scenario? So I went about my days wishing and praying that the guy I liked said something to me. It always worked…even though the majority of the time they approached me years later. I can honestly say almost every guy that I had a crush on…I mean a serious crush on has someone how approached me later on in life. So I just decided there was no need for me to step to someone because 5 years from now he would holla at me anyway.

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The Relationship Race

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Ok, I don’t understand what’s the deal with people trying to rush a relationship. There’s no more “let’s take our time”, now it’s if you’re not where I am let’s call the whole thing off. *Where the f*ck they do that at?* Don’t folks know that rushing shit only puts your ass in a f*cked up position. In my opinion, shit like that is bound to end horribly. There is nothing that can be successful when a person Debo someone  into a relationship.

I’ve been forced into a relationship before. Well not forced, but I damn sure didn’t want to give him the “He’s my man” status. He was a cool guy and everything, he just wasn’t my type. We started kicking it and the next thing you know he’s calling me his girl. He continuously asked me when we were gonna make this official and I constantly changed the subject. I just wasn’t in it the way he was, but I decided to give it a try. From the beginning the relationship was one-sided. After a while being around him was torture for me. I honestly started to feel dislike for this dude. Every time I was around him I got mad, like I trapped myself in some dumb shit and I didn’t know how to get out. He had feelings and I had pity.  I know that wasn’t anything to base a relationship off of, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I just didn’t want to tell him “I’m not into you, your d*ck bores me, and I would rather cut off my tits and hand them to the less fortunate than be with you”. That is just plain ol mean in my book. So I stayed where I didn’t want to. As time went on I got comfortable. I wasn’t IN LOVE or anything…I was comfortable. When I got comfortable I stayed, because here I was still with someone I didn’t want, but I was in it too long to spring the “I still don’t like you the way you like me on him”. I don’t know what the hell was wrong with me when it came to this relationship, but I wasn’t doing ME. Like I said I felt trapped, like I was in jail or something. He was the one who said “I love you first”. He was the one that suggested I moved in with him. I just looked at this man and said “Hell f*cking no”. He seemed confused and I was tired of playing this dumb ass game.THANK GOD I found an out. He was offered a job in another city and I was more than excited to say “I don’t do long-distance relationships”. I was so happy that negro got the hell on, I was too through.

You can’t force anyone to want you, hell you can’t force anyone to like your ass. Let folks develop shit on their own time and not try to make them feel shit that isn’t there. It’s only gonna hurt you when you finally stick your f*cking head out the clouds and realize that your love doesn’t match theirs. Then folks wanna get pissed because someone isn’t feeling the same feelings. That shows me you have low self-esteem and you’re clutching on to love where ever you can find it even if it doesn’t find you. That is some sad shit right there.  Then you wanna get mad and blame the other person for not loving you the way you love them. Stop looking for unattainable love. Let the shit ride out and maybe, just maybe the other person falls in love deeper than you ever imagined.