Vintage: Friends Before Lovers? Should You Be Friends First?

couple arm wrestling

We all know a couple that have been long time friends and then decided to take their friendship to another level. They’re both single and get along great, so why not see if they can actually date? Many say it’s an easy transition from friends to lovers. A relationship works better if you’ve developed a friendship before becoming intimate. I do agree, but damn what if the relationship doesn’t work out the way you’d hoped. Can you easily go back to being “just friends”?

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Do You Follow The Rules Of The Girl Code?

friends smiling

The rules of the Girl Code are pretty simple: “You got your good girlfriend’s back and vice versa”. That’s it. That’s all the rules are about. The funny thing is it seems that some women either don’t know the rules or don’t give a damn about them. You usually find this case when a man is involved. When a man comes into the mix it seems that the good good girlfriend, becomes that chick you have to give that deep side eye. No matter what the unspoken rule is of The Girl Code, it seems like it is easily forgotten and two good friends get into a battle over something that shouldn’t even matter in their friendship…a man.

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Stop Acknowledging Your Lessers

woman on the phone

This needs to stop…like yesterday. We need to stop acknowledging those that are beneath us. When I say beneath us I mean those that’s aren’t about nothing you’re on. All they want to do is drag you down in their shit and give nothing to your life only take away. It may be a relationship with the man that just can’t do right by you. Maybe a friend that just isn’t really a friend to you, but pretends like they have your best interest at heart. No matter how we hate the things they do sometimes, we keep them around because we are loyal to the people we bring into our lives. Sometimes you reach to the point where you can no longer taking the tearing down. You can no longer take the backstabbing/two-faced type behavior. It’s time to stop acknowledging your lessers. Kicking those sorry ass people out of your life in order to better what you have going on.

The more time you give to those that don’t deserve it is basically takes time off of your life. Think about it. If you’re focusing on someone and their foolish behavior it makes you look foolish. Like my man Jay-Z said “A wise man told me don’t argue with fools
Cause people from a distance can’t tell who is who.” Meaning the more you acknowledge and allow these losers to invade your life with their misery and messiness, you’re looked at as messy and miserable. Stop people just don’t need that kind of attention. The more you partake in the childish bullshit, you end up looking as stupid as your lessers. Like I don’t understand how folks get involved in social media beef. They bucking on a keyboard. These so-called internet thugs. I’ve seen so many twitter/FB beefs unfold before my very eyes and the shit is sad. Well the shit is actually funny because every last one of em steam from the same thing. A no good dirty ass man that fucking them and some other bitches, but they wanna get on each other. The only thing that shows is that you two look like an idiot while he’s off fucking some other chick in your bed while you’re at work. Basically the more you entertain the people that don’t matter the more you look like a fool right along with them. You are above the bullshit, so be above the bullshit.

Sometimes you just have to grow some balls and eliminate some folks from your life. It may be hard, but you really deserve better than what they have to give you. You need people to add to your life, not take away from it. So stop the internet beefs. Retire being an e-gangsta. You’re way above that life. The people who partake in that kind of activity on and off the internet don’t need to drag you down. Remove the baggage and move on. 

Is Being Fake The New Real?


I’ve always heard the term ‘You gotta fake it, till you make it”. Like there is no way you can get to where your going being who you really are? Nowadays I see that it’s true that no matter how “real” you pretend to be, everyone fakes it. If you haven’t doctored up something in your life to make it more than what it really is, your not to be trusted. We see it all the time; fake friendships, fake career, relationships hell even faking it sexually has all of a sudden become popular. I remember a man once told me, “Even if I’m not satisfying you sexually, just pretend I am so I can feel like I did something”. This is the shit I’m talking about. People accepting what’s fake and taking it for reality. I just don’t understand when did fake become the new real?

I always believe that one should be themselves. Cut all the fake shit and just rock in their reality. I don’t claim to be someone I’m not. I don’t spend money I know my broke ass don’t have to floss for motherfuckers I don’t care about. I don’t keep fake friends in my circle, and trust me if I find their is some fake shit going on I have no problem dropping your ass to the curb. Basically I’m a realist about mine and don’t put on for others. I’m the same way in relationships as well. I’m not perfect or pretend to be. I have my flaws and I make sure I advise your ass of such. If I’m unhappy in a relationship we either discuss and try to work things out or we part ways. I know a lot of people that claim to be in these “wonderful” relationships, but behind close doors they’re miserable and unhappy. Because they don’t want folks to think that they aren’t capable of keeping someone so they fake it. Faking it for the benefit of others.

Maybe I’m doing it wrong. Maybe living in real-life is just played out and I need to be like everyone else and “fake it till everyone believes in it”. The thing about me is I could give a solid portion of a fuck what others think. Shit maybe that’s why I don’t fuck with a lot of people. I feel if I’m giving you the real me, I expect the same thing from them. I refuse put on for folks. Men pretend to be “ballers” to attract the groupies, who pretend to be “real women” to attract the  “ballers”. Bringing out their representative, showing folks who they wanna be and not showing what’s real. I always use the example of a used car salesman. He’s gonna tell you all the wonderful shit about the shiny car and even make shit up so the car can appeal to you. It looks great on the outside, but you don’t know it’s actually messed up under the hood. He’s not gonna discuss how the engine is fucked up, the brakes don’t work and the oil pan has a leak. He’s gonna show all the outside shit you can see and down play all the shit you can’t see with the naked eye. Truth be told if someone exposed what was really under their hood, would you really wanna stick around? So I guess continue faking it, maybe that’s the only reality some people have. 

Who Got Next? *Vintage*

The world is too damn small for some of the shit I’ve seen. You just never know when your past is gonna creep up on you. A lot of people have done a lot of hoe shit in their time, and as you get older hopefully you’ve learned to error of your ways. So you meet someone you’re really feeling and he asks you to meet his friends. Now all women know meeting the friends is an upgrade situation. You’re not just his cutt buddy, or a jump off; you’re at potential girlfriend status. While he’s going around the room introducing you to “the crew”, he comes up on someone that makes your heart skip a beat. He looks at you, you look at him… and now your whole night has just been fucked up. Here you are with your boo and your old fuck buddy is looking you dead in the face. What would you do?

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Can You Be Friends With An Ex?

How many ex’s are you friends with? I don’t mean call in the middle of the night cause your coochie’s hungry type of friend. I mean ya’ll can call and see how each other’s doing without it being uncomfortable? Some people feel that once a relationship is over there is no way two ex’s can ever be friends. They feel it doesn’t matter how the relationship ended, once it’s over it’s over. Then you have the people that feel once two people are mature enough to realize things didn’t work out why not be friends? Can this harm or help your future relationships?

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