Have you ever had a male friend treat you like you were the girlfriend? I’ve talked about the whole men and women being friends thing and you already know my stance on that. I feel men and women can eventually be friends, but it doesn’t always start that way. Someone out of the two wants to hit it. They might not say it our bring it up, but every time they look at you they’re imagining pinning you against the way and grinding their parts on you in a slow or rapid motion. Eventually a friendship can occur, but what happens when someone you consider your brother from another mother treats you like the girlfriend he never had? You two hang out all the time, but is his need to “kick it” just an excuse to be around a woman?
This has actually happened to me before. I went out with a guy a few times, but it occurred to us that we were better off as friends, so we stopped dating. We decided to hang out one day and realize that we actually liked chillin and doing fun shit with each other. Not on a romantic tip or anything, just two friends hanging out. We became really close and I looked at his as one of my bestfriends. I had no issues talking to him about other guys and he had no issues discussing the women he dated. We would kick it at each other’s cribs, go out for drinks…you know friend shit. So I started seeing this guy I really liked. I decided to tell my friend about him and by our conversation it seemed like he was a little agitated. I don’t know if it was because the way I spoke about the guy was so gushy and shit, but I did notice the way he seemed like he was a little annoyed. I brushed it off and didn’t bring it up again.
So my friend had a party for his birthday and he said I could bring whoever I wanted. At this time the new guy and I became really close, so I invited him. We got to the party and my friend planted an unnecessary tree that gleamed nothing but shade towards the new guy. He was just a plain ol asshole. He was grilling him and making lil comments, so I had to pull his ass aside and ask him what was his deal. This fool proceeded to inform me that he doesn’t think the dude is a good match and ever since I met him we don’t kick it like we use to. Now when he dates a bitch this negro goes MIA for weeks. Can’t see or hear from him, but the second a bitch finds “temporary” happiness it’s suddenly a problem? That’s when I realized I was a stand-in. I was the bestfriend that he treated like a girlfriend if there was no girlfriend. I was the one that got all his time, he did things with and talked to. The second I wasn’t around as much in his opinion it felt like I was cheating on him.
In situations like this things can become a little messy. In the case of me and my friend, I don’t think it was a romantic thing between us. I just think he was use to me being the woman in his life. When I became the woman in someone else’s life it was difficult for him to handle. In my opinion he was like my brother, a member of the family. If he met a girl he liked I was happy for him. If she was a money grubbing bitch that I would voice my concerns, but I never stood in his way. This is in any instance, your view on your relationships might be a totally different view that others. I don’t think he realized what he was doing subconsciously, he just did what was comfortable. This is definitely a hard thing to break, but I think if you two are mature enough to discuss it then roles will be better understood.
Holla at me: Have you ever been involved in a fill-in relationship?