The New Face of Celibacy: The Black Woman

Do you have your snatch on restriction? There is no one entering in and out of the premises because it’s your choice. Celibacy seems to be the new thing. Hell I’ve tried celibacy about 2 years ago and I started again and it’s almost been a year for me. This life just isn’t for everyone, but I do think it’s something that changes your life once you decide to do it. Actress Megan Good recently revealed that she’s celibate because of her commitment to God. Now some of you might not believe it because she’s basically been type cast as a hoe in Hollywood. All her roles got her dressing, walking and acting like a natural born hoe, but she made her commitment and says she’s sticking to it. Even newly engaged supermodel Jessica White practiced celibacy. Even going as far as to say the man that she was currently involved with respects her decision and she won’t give that part of herself until marriage. Many women are joining the celibacy sistahood and removing their snatches from the equation. Some may say celibacy is the new in thing to say, that it makes you look deep and shit. Others say celibacy is a higher level of yourself, you’re committed to what you believe and what you deserve.

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Is Prayer Missing In Black Relationships?

We always heard the saying “A family that prays together, stays together”. Is that still true? I’m starting to believe that prayer is missing in modern relationships. When was the last time you went down on your knees and prayed with your partner? When was the last time you took your troubles to the lord in prayer? We deal with so much insignificant garbage when it comes to relationships, we forget who’s grace is really with us. I think the problem is too many couples are getting together because of the physical connection and disregarding everything else.

I think we can all admit there were some relationships from our past that never included spiritual commonality. We saw something with a cute face and a even cuter______ and we just fell in love. How they put it down in the bedroom became more important than how connected he was with a higher power. You rather cuss at him about the chick that looked at him a little too long while you were in the drive-thru rather than being more concerned that you never seem to have a spiritual connection. We find ourselves in relationships that really have no substance and spirituality seems to be left out. I can admit that I never experienced many relationships back in the day where prayer was talked about or even done between us. It wasn’t until my last relationship where I experienced a higher elevation in a relationship. We put God first. We went to service together, we prayed at the table, we even read scriptures to each other. We found that without God our relationship meant nothing. Most recently I met a guy and the first thing he asked me wasn’t “So tell me about yourself” or “What happened with your last relationship.”His first question to me was “Do you believe in God?” I honestly found that refreshing. When was the last time you met someone that was more concerned about your spiritual standing than how quick you let a n*gga hit when you meet him?

As we get older I think a lot of us have a better sense of who we are and what we want. Spirituality has become a big requirement in my dating book. If we can’t praise together, there is no way for us to have a healthy relationship. No matter what God you praise spirituality  should play a huge role in the people you allow into your life. Although praying does not guarantee ever lasting happiness with the one you’re with, it makes things clearer when things don’t go as you thought. If God can take you there he can pull you through. At the end of the day the sex might be great and the kisses might make your body shiver, but without a deeper connection your relationship is nothing but a shell of emptiness.

What I Got From Oprah’s Final Goodbye

Everybody has a calling, and your real job in life is to get about your business and do it”~Oprah

As you all know yesterday was Oprah’s final episode of the Oprah Winfrey Show. It has been 25 years since Oprah graced household’s with her presence. A colored girl from Mississippi who everyone may have counted out because of the way she looked. Here stood a thick black woman with wide eyes and a convincing tongue. Oprah knew her business and with knowing her business was blessed not only with fortune and fame, but with a sense of being. Oprah’s last show recounted the years she devoted to her craft. A black woman in a pink dressed stood on a stage with a light pink chair as her back drop and talked about what her audience meant to her. Never sitting or acting sorrowful, she stood there and stared into the eyes of the audience. She stared into the camera as if she was talking to everyone individually. Lady O not only dropped knowledge, but wisdom that she has learned throughout the years.

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It’s My Birthday…Worship Me!!!

So today is my birthday and as you may or may not know I”m *grumbles* years old today. Right now I’m probably traveling from my fabulous weekend trip to NYC. If I never at 16 what I know know, chile things would have been so much different back then. Being an adult is hard as work, but you reap the benefits. I’ve reflected on my life and I wouldn’t change a damn thing. Even a few ex’s here and there I would have still kept. Even though they may have worked my nerves or almost made me catch a case, I don’t regret a thing. I am winning right now in life. God has blessed me with wonderful and supportive people in my corner and all I can do is go UP. At 31 I still got it and I’m not old, I just know what the hell I want. *2 snaps in “V” formation lmao.

Love,

V.I.

I’m Now 31, And Um That Fool Still Ain’t Here

Two years ago  I wrote a blog called “I‘m almost 30; Where The Hell Is He“. Now that I will be 31 on Monday I am convinced I done ran the knee-grow off. Lmao…I kid I kid. Lawd I hope I’m kidding. Right now I am at the point in my life where I am definitely ready to settle down. I don’t know what it is when people hit their 30’s because so many of my friends have been saying the same thing. All I know is, I am completely and totally ready to receive my forever kind of love. I am sitting and waiting patiently on God to finish working on this thang. My future hubby probably isn’t ready, so all I can do is wait until everything is complete to receive this love.

After my last relationship certain people from my past have tried to step to me, but honey chile I ain’t hearing it. I know what I want and refuse to settle for less than that. I remember my ex telling me “Make sure the next man treats you better than I did”. The fact that these past people weren’t shit, I refuse to give these sons of a motherless goat the time of day. I am good right now. I’ve been celibate too, so um dude needs to kind of make his way over here cause um yea…celibacy ain’t cute after the first 90 days. So once again I will say I AM READY GOD!!! Putting it out to existence is bound to bring blessings my way.

By the by, do ya’ll notice every time my birthday comes around I reflect and shit? I guess that’s what old people do. lol

Are Good Women Played Out?

“You’re a good woman. You’re strong, supportive and treat a man right”…but why are so many good women still single? Ladies, time and time again we’ve heard this line. You’re told you have all the great qualities any man would want, but no matter what time of day it is you’re always alone. No relationship lasts for the long haul. When it’s over you’re still nursing your wounds while they hop on the next bitch smoking. Is it that good women are too good or is it that men just don’t realize what they had until they end up with  someone worse? Why do men praise your qualities, but still go after the trick bitches that ain’t got shit but a GED and 5 kids?

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Why Do We Ignore The Signs?

Why do people neglect the signs? Have you ever met someone that you liked, but it seemed like everything in the relationship was wrong? No matter how much you try to ignore it, it becomes more apparent that something just isn’t right. Either they’re mentally unstable, they’re users or the timing is just off. In the back of your mind you know that it’s not suppose to be like that, but because you’re in love you ignore it and pray that it becomes better. Why do we ignore the signs when they’re clearly right in front of us?

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Fantasia’s Story Might Be Your Story…

“Your greatest gift can be your biggest curse” (c) V.I.

Last night Vh-1 aired the episode I think everyone was waiting for…what really happened with Fantasia. The episode started out with Fantasia telling her side of what really happened that night when she overdosed. It was really hard for me to watch because this is not only Fantasia’s story, this happens to many people on a daily basis. As humans we cannot disregard our emotions. We give so much of ourselves that when we constantly feel like nothing is right…we react. For a split second you might think “I just want to give up”.

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Are You At Your Full Potential?

Lately, I’ve been wanting to just run down the street buck nekkid and just scream out loud into the world. Have you ever felt like you’re trapped in a box and can’t find a way out? You know there is light at the end of the tunnel, but you can’t find the f*cking tunnel? That’s how I’ve been feeling. I feel like I’m not working at my full potential, but at the same time not sure of how to work at my full potential. This is my dilemma.

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