Hi V.I.,

I just started recently dating this guy and I’m head over heels for him. We love the same things, have great conversation and have the same goals in life. When I met him I wasn’t interested in getting involved with anyone, but he just won me over. Now that we’re getting really close, I’m afraid to reveal something about myself. I’m a porn star! I started doing porn 2 years ago while in college and I’ve managed to have a very good career out of it. It was just suppose to be something I did to survive through college life, but I honestly love the money that I make so stopping right now is not an option.

The thing is, how do I tell him? He asked me what I did for a living and I told him I’m a model. Technically I’m not lying because I did a few photo shoots for the job. Most guys can’t handle my lifestyle, that’s why I’ve been single for so long. This is a really good guy and I’m afraid if I tell him I’ll scare him away.  What should I do?

Porn Star in Love

Dear PSIL,

Girl, you’re in a pickle. If you really like this guy the only thing I know you would need to do is tell him. I know it’s gonna be hard and there is a strong possibility he can’t deal with it, but it’s better to tell him than finding out another way. Just imagine if you two really get hot and heavy and his homeboy’s end up telling him they saw a porno starring YOU, you know he’s gonna go ape shit on you right? It’s truly better that it comes from you than someone else. In every truth does come a risk. If you do tell him and he decides that he can’t be with you, then you’re gonna lose a great guy. If you don’t tell him and he finds out your probably gonna face hell when he confronts you. It’s better to get everything out in the open before things get that serious.

I’m not saying that all men watch porn, but are you that popular that he may have seen one of your flicks? I know some porn stars look totally different once they’re dressed down. I’m just trying to find out if there is a chance he knows who you are. Now if you do tell him and he gives you an ultimatum, you now have another problem. You said the money is too good for you to stop right now, but if he wants you to stop will you rather risk losing him over money?  That’s something to also think about.

So my advice is tell him what’s going on. Don’t hide something as big as this from him because if he finds out you will forever have trust issues in your relationship. Hell you probably won’t have a relationship left.

I’ve really hoped I’ve helped you in some way. I am not an expert, I just give my opinions as I see fit. The decision is ultimately yours to make, so I hope you make one that is in your best interest. Keep me posted!

*Snapping Fingers* Welcome to the Diary of A Mad Guest Blogger. This is a segment where we feature the bloggers that got thangs to say. I want you to give a special hand to John Doe.

Loyalty, that’s the word that comes right after the big four letter word “Love”. Some may say they both coincide with each other. One may not be capable to have one without the other, in a safe or healthy relationship.  People, have you ever wondered/questioned the loyalty of family, friends, & especially your significant other has for you?  Well, that’s a question everyone thinks or asks themselves and will like to know the answer to before that big day one may say “I DO”.

“For better or for worse”, from a Male’s perspective. Most guys probably wonder if I didn’t have the keys to the car I drive, the house at the right zip code, or a career that indicates success would chica still ride or die for me?  Or better yet, if all the asset’s were to disappear one day especially with this challenging economy, “Would the Ms. still be there”?  (Jay-Z couldn’t have said it better)  Now don’t get it twisted ladies; no one’s saying to go out there and get a n*gga to just pound the shit out of your stomach and not a provider, protector, & a passionate lover.  But, these days most parents (especially mothers) teach or emphasize to their daughters what to look for or how to identify a good man.  Most times, this conversation comes about before the career conversation or even before chica learns how to be a good companion to the right man.  Ladies lets keep it 100%,  its to often females go out there and are drawn/attracted to the guys that can provide a lifestyle they anticipate vs a dude with a good attitude that their compatible with and may perhaps fall in love with one day.  So ladies, can you be loyal just to diamond rings and shiny thangs vs happy living?

“For better or for worse”, from a females perspective. Most women probably wonder; would he change after I’ve helped him turned successful, after gaining 50 lbs from bearing his kids he wanted would he still find me attractive?  After a year of marriage he found out that I can’t give him the son (Jr.) he anticipated would he stay committed?  Better yet, if after all I’ve done to, for  & with him if he saw a female with more assets; would the Mr. still be there?  These days most guys would choose the female that gives them more publicity vs the one with good stability.  Now just keeping it 100%, after he’s attained the house in a good community, good car and a great career; he’s going to want a female to best represent him in the public eye. To also reflect  his 360 degree level of success/accomplishments.  Now, the new chic might not even have good qualities and posses all the bad habits but because she’s cute in the face, slim in the waist, and phat in the right places that’s all she’s gonna need for a good living.  So, fellas, would you choose perception over foundation?  Can you be loyal to a shopaholic, big booty woman with conceited ways vs intellect, personality, & substance?

Attention VI

Have u ever felt the need to go f*ck a stranger cause your so extremely horny and feel like u can’t control yourself or have someone to do if for u???(out of breath right now!!!) I have this problem right now… It’s not that I can’t get a release from anyone, but the person who suppose to do it for me ain’t doing his job. I am not suppose to be looking at other alternatives when I have a man… He suppose to be made available anytime for these sessions. Have I told him how I feel about the situation???yes and no… I told him i he don’t want other people eating off of his “plate of food” he better get his act together…Because men suppose to like these type of things.. Or am I a sex fiend??? I would consider myself a sex fiend only cause in my past relationships, almost all of them was because of the great sex or the best oral…All I do is think about sex… I dream of it, as well as smell it all the time… I think about doing different stuff all the time… I want to be excellent at it… I want to learn new stuff…. It’s no fun learning them by myself, but I really love this individual and see him as not only my husband, but also as a friend and my baby daddy… Is there anything I can do without feeling the need to cheat??

Fiendin for it

Dear Fiendin for it,

…..UM…Hmmmm. Girl I think you got a sex problem. The reason I say that is because…well *whispers* you smelling it? Lol. Naw, I do think it’s the fact that you’re somewhat unsatisfied at home that leads you to constantly crave it. He’s not doing the job that you want him to do, so you just want to go buck wild on some woman’s poor boy child. It’s common to feel this way if things ain’t kicking off at the crib, the thing is not to act on it. If you love this man like you say you do, that alone should cause you not to cheat. If you do have a sex problem you need to seek help. Right now it’s like you’re a time bomb ready to explode at any moment.

I can never say this enough communication is key to any relationship. You need to let that man know what’s really going on. Throwing little hints here and there ain’t gonna get that p*ssy busted open. He needs to know the severity of this, and do what he needs to do to keep his woman happy. Men don’t rely on hints to know what’s going on, cause half the time their asses are so oblivious to the fact that your hinting shit to them. Get that man on the right track. I won’t encourage anyone to cheat. All I have to say is, if you’re thinking about cheating then you might as well end the relationship. That hour of random dick is gonna cause hell in your relationship. Plus, if your not sexually compatible with your man then your gonna forver have a problem. Sex is one of the major issues when it comes to relationships. Someone either wants too much or someone doesn’t want any. This is where the conflicts lie. If you and your boo isn’t on the same page sexually, the cheating thought will always be on your mind.

So my final answer is talk to your man and stop throwing hints. If you cheat, I hope you know what your getting yourself into because if he finds out you probably would have realized that shit wasn’t worth it.

I’ve really hoped I’ve helped you in some way. I am not an expert, I just give my opinions as I see fit. The decision is ultimately yours to make, so I hope you make one that is in your best interest. Keep me posted!

xoxoxox