Hi VI,

So first I want to start by saying I loooove Candy diares. You keep me more than entertained at work. I check everyday for new postings and u never let me down with the realness.

So I have an issue I’m going through. I was dating a guy with a child for a little over a year. He was practically living with me and I was basically supporting him as I thought a woman should when her man is going through hard times. Well we definitely went through it and after a year I find out that he’s been living a double life with his baby’s mom. I’m hurt beyond words, I went through hell and hot water with this boy, and yes I said boy and gave him multiple chances to be honest with me and he just lied and lied n lied. Now that I know the truth, I want revenge. I want to say something to the girl, not to hurt her because she really had nothing to do with how he treated me. I just to hurt him as much as he hurt me. Now he’s off living this perfect family life and I’m stuck picking up the pieces of my broken heart and its hard. The thing is I know if i say something his lil family will be ruined and his son will most likely be taken from him. Since I’ve known him I know that if nothing else matters to him in this world. That boy loves the shit out of his son. I don’t want to be no home-wrecker but I didn’t sign up for this hurt and don’t think I should just have to accept that for a whole year I was loyal, faithful, and honest to someone who doesn’t even know the meaning of those words.

How do I get over this and get my revenge without tearing a child away from his father???
PLEASE HELP

Revenge Seeker

Dear RS,

Revenge is sweet, but it doesn’t mend  a broken heart. Sweetie you got played. Point blank and period. This shit happens in relationships, you might get hurt. Loving someone other than yourself isn’t easy, if it was there would be happy folks in this world. Your bitter and angry and you want them to hurt just as much as you do, but when it’s all said and done your still gonna be hurt. You said your intention for telling the woman isn’t to hurt her, but your still gonna hurt her correct? It’s like you want to make it known to her that he ain’t shit because he wasn’t shit to you. If he wasn’t shit to you and you were loyal to him chances are this isn’t the first time he did shit like this and I guarantee you she knows about it.

The first mistake you made was, he was living with you and you were supporting him. You were only with dude a year and you already wanted to play husband and wife? Boo, love is grand and all but if your pulling the weight and he’s not doing shit to contribute other than giving you dick then what’s the point of calling him your man? He’s just a dude that gives you dick if that’s the case. You moved too quickly into this that you didn’t really know who you were dealing with in this relationship. You know the consequence of telling this chick might be that she separates him from his son. That is a territory that you shouldn’t even touch. By doing that shit how is this benefiting your heart? You taking a child from his father because your bitter? Chile you need to get up out of that and move on. Yes it’s difficult to do in the beginning, but time does heal all. Just be glad you found out before the shit got deeper. What if you got pregnant and had to raise this child alone? What if you got something from this kneegrow that penicillin couldn’t cure? You gotta be blessed that you got out unscaved.

So my recommendation is chill on that revenge thing. Karma is sweeter than revenge and I believe how you do people is how people will do you. It all comes back to the person, and once it does your hands are clean. You did nothing to get back at the person so you can’t feel guilty later on down the line when something happens.

I’ve really hoped I’ve helped you see things clearer in some way. I am not an expert, I just give my opinions as I see fit. The decision is ultimately yours to make, so I hope you make one that is in your best interest. Keep me posted!

e