*Interview* Does Age and Experience Change A Man’s Perspective on Relationships?


I always wonder about goes through a man’s mind when it comes to relationships. Do they even care as much as women do? As the clock ticks and the years go by do they look back on the choices they made in past relationships and wish they did it differently? How has age affected them and are they ok and content with the state of their lives now that they’re no longer 20 something? I decided to interview 5 guys in various states of relationships. I asked a series of 8 questions and it’s interesting to read the answers. The faces have been protected for obvious reasons…I don’t want ya’ll to see your man’s face and get mad and shit. 



      Name: Thacomputa

      Age: 41

      Location: Chicago

      Status: Married 



1. How long have you been married, and do you feel like you married the right woman? 

 Approaching 11 years.  When I popped the question, I knew it! Now… it’s questionable.  And it’s mutual. We both have at times questioned whether we married the “right” person.  Over time, some things change… people change… and also… they don’t.  You marry a person for who they are at that point in time.  Depending on that point in life, they may be settled into the person they are eventually going to be, or they may still be developing into that person.  And you either expect that they will remain the person you married (because you think they are just PERFECT!) or you expect that there will be growth because you see room for improvement (because you feel the love you have is stronger than the fact that they are NOT PERFECT).  Or there could be a combination of both.  But nobody’s perfect so (in the words that err body like to use today) “At the end of the day” , you just have to decide if it’s worth sticking it out whether they are exactly “right” or not.

2. As a man of a particular age in a marriage, do some of the same issues you experienced while dating still come up in your marriage? 

Maybe a little, but not really… marriage brings along it’s own set of issues that supersede the dating issues.

 3. As you get older are you a little less tolerant to drama within your relationship? 

By the DAY!! And it’s more than just a little.  No man ever wants to deal with drama in the relationship in the first place(contrary to popular belief), so whatever drama he puts up with in the beginning needs to decrease as time in the relationship goes on.  It should be like the interest on an amortized loan where it dwindles over time. 

 4. What’s keeping your marriage going?  The genuine love we have for each other.

 5What do you think a women need to understand about men before they decide to walk down the aisle?

 Women need to understand that they can’t look for a man to fit into their life, they need to decide if they can fit into his life and not loose herself.  Ladies, you can NOT change a REAL man so stop trying.  If this nigga ain’t already 90% of what you want in a man, he ain’t the one and you can’t make him the one. 

 6. As you look back on life were there any women from your past that you wish you had done things differently? 

     Yes, but that is a very open ended question.  I could go many ways with that one. HA!

 7. If you had the opportunity to give your 20 year old self advice about life and relationships, what would it be?  

It would be to wait even longer than I did before deciding to get married.  Going along with what I said in #1, the older you get the more you settle into who you are going to be.  Over time you come to realize things that you really need or don’t need in your relationship.  The younger you are, the more chance there is for those things to change and/or develop.  This is how it’s possible for people to wake up one day in a long term relationship and realize they don’t know the person they are in the relationship with.  But this doesn’t mean you won’t end up with the same person because if it was meant to be it would be, just without all the growing pains that could sour what would have been so sweet.

 8. Do you think age and experience played a major role in the man you are today? Why or Why Not?

 But of course! Age and experience are the best teachers.  You live and you learn(hopefully!). “The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.” ~Muhammad Ali

Do Modern Day Marriages Still Last A Lifetime?

I love when black relationships takes that next step into black marriage. It’s a beautiful thing when you see two people who love each other walk down the aisle in bliss. The thing that I’ve noticed is that some marriages nowadays have such a short shelf life. Everything is peaches and cream in the beginning, but when wedding ends and the last guest leaves it all goes to hell. The marriage actually starts these fools can’t seem to make shit work. Is it that folks are “falling so deep in like” with people they think they can tolerate? Are they using marriage as a way to repair their already bullshit relationship? Has marriage become the in thing to do even if it’s with the wrong person? Does a lifetime now consist of 5 years tops?

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Is Submission The Key To Success?

I’ve realized that a lot of couples never speak about this topic. When women hear the word submissive they immediately give the “The motherf*cker must be crazy” side eye.  I will admit the thought of given into submission is kinda of archaic, but if your man/husband is doing what he needs to do as the man of the relationship…why not?

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Attention:Not All Men Fear Marriage

Not all brothas are marriage material. There are some you literally have to punch in the ball sack to get them to take you out the house. They fear the words “us” and “together”. If you even attempt to say “When I get married”…their asses are so quick to let you know it ain’t that kind of party. These are the “Only for a time” men. You can kick it with them.. you know have your fun, but when you decide you want something more you look the other way. Then you have the brothas that don’t shy away from commitment. They’ve done  all they wanted to do and more and finally realized that finding that woman that makes them feel confident in love is better than any feeling in the world. They have no problem making that step with the right person. They know when it’s time ladies, sometimes they want to make sure that you’re ready.

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When Jumpoff's Attack


Now, we’ve all heard and read about the situation with Tiger and his “Becky”. Twitter was all a buzz yesterday killing my timeline with this bullshit.  It kills me how people are acting like this is the first time they ever heard of someone cheating …EVER. I bet the next thing you know they gonna have a Congressional hearing over the fact that Tiger got some on the side. In my opinion what people do is their business. If the man wanted to step out on his wife, what business is that of ours? That is between those two and the God they stood in front of. My issue is the sly b*tches men choose to cheat with. They pick these gutter butt b*tches who’s only goal in life is too hook a man with that chedda. This was his mistake…dealing with a basic jumpoff.I always say if you’re gonna cheat, do it with someone that has as much to loose as you do. If you’re a married rapper and you meet a coat check girl and start to give her the ol heave hoe…your shit is gonna get exposed. First off, you know random everyday chicks won’t  keep a secret relationship under wraps for too long. Especially if you have a little status to yourself. Them hoes waiting for the right moment to have all your business out on the street. I don’t care who you are I don’t give nobody any ammo on me. His chick leaked voice mails to the media. That girl was just waiting on the day that shit came out so she would get her “pay day”. Never ever ever give someone that much ammo on you fool. Some chicks out here are just looking for the fastest come up they can possibly get. Be smart about yours. If you choose to do stupid shit, be prepared for the consequences of your actions. Train these hoes from young. You set the boundaries.


In this day and age, you really can’t trust people as far as you can throw them. Did he expect Becky #2 to obey his marriage? Why should she when he clearly wasn’t ? I don’t believe in violence, but his wife beating his mixed ass showed him something. A woman hurt, no matter what color can f*ck your world up. We don’t know the details of their marriage, so saying that he cheated because Becky was now giving him a lazy Susan is wrong. Shit, it doesn’t matter why he cheated…he cheated. It’s not the end of the world, the earth isn’t gonna swallow him whole. He’s doing what people, married, committed, dating have been doing for years. He’s man…flesh. Just because he has a good golf swing doesn’t make him above anyone else. If she decides to divorce him the only place he will feel it is in is pockets because that bitch is gonna get paid.

So what have we learned from this whole Tiger loves women long time story? No matter how a person is perceived in the public eye, looks can be deceiving. Truth be told just by looking at his big teeth and listening to his nasal drip voice I wouldn’t peg him to have jump-off’s. But he is a man…so *shrugs*. Since this came out you’re gonna see all kinds of Becky’s and maybe a Latifah or two come out of the woodwork and admit they had something with Tiger. People love to see other people fall. It’s like we hold celebrities on this high pedestal like they can never do wrong because of who they are. Their human, they wipe their asses just like everyone else. Well except Lil Wayne, he doesn’t look too hygienic. This man cheating on his wife has nothing to do with my everyday life. I could give a damn that Tiger smashed a Tool Academy chick. Hell good for him. This is probably the riskiest thing he ever did since he drank Ovaltine from the wrong cup. Let them deal with their marriage privately. Whatever they decide to do is on them. This is the last time I will ever talk about Tiger and his love for the Becky’s. I JUST DON’T GIVE A DAMN!!!!