Over the weekend I was talking to someone and we were discussing relationships. He asked me about my opinion on the matter and I told him straight out as I usually do. He just looked at me and said “Not all men are dogs”. It tripped me out because he was actually the second person who said that to me in a week. I actually started to think; do I give out a vibe that I think all men are bitch asses? In the back of my mind I do believe these types of men exists, but when all you meet is the trifling ass dudes your perception of men shift. Then I started to wonder: Ok, so these men exist. Is this how they were raised or they had to be the grimy ass dude first, and then realize that being grimy just isn’t the business?
I believe anyone can change if they really wanted to. If a guy was a straight up slut, I do believe if he wanted to be the right man to the right woman he could definitely do it. He just would have to want it more for himself, than for her. There are some men that just are good men. Someone once told me it’s how a man was raised. I don’t fully agree with that theory. There are men that grew up with a respect for women because of their respect for their mothers. Then there are men that treat women like shit, but still value and respect moms. Same thing goes for men brought up with a father in their lives. I don’t think being a good man can necessarily be thought, but when you have great examples in your life I think you can definitely learn something. At the end of the day everything is up to you. How you treat women, how you respect yourself, how you handle your business.
So now the question on every woman’s lips: Where are all the good one’s hiding? We already established that there are some out there; we just can’t seem to find them. I got news flash ladies; we found them we’re just not focused on them. The same guy I was speaking to said “All women say they want a good man, but when they find one they say he’s boring”. I totally agree with this statement. Most women want a man that brings some sort of excitement into their lives. Majority of the time those are the n*ggas that got drama out the ass. Yes, I am saying that there are some women out there that are just addicted to drama shit. It makes you stay on your toes, it makes you show emotion. That’s what women want, but their looking for it in all the wrong places. Another News Flash: The really good men don’t have all that drama. So if it’s women calling your phone, baby momma slicing your tires, or him not calling you and shit. Well maybe you don’t need a good man. I’M JUST SAYING…
Holla at me: What are your thoughts on Good Men?
Not all brothas are marriage material. There are some you literally have to punch in the ball sack to get them to take you out the house. They fear the words “us” and “together”. If you even attempt to say “When I get married”…their asses are so quick to let you know it ain’t that kind of party. These are the “Only for a time” men. You can kick it with them.. you know have your fun, but when you decide you want something more you look the other way. Then you have the brothas that don’t shy away from commitment. They’ve done all they wanted to do and more and finally realized that finding that woman that makes them feel confident in love is better than any feeling in the world. They have no problem making that step with the right person. They know when it’s time ladies, sometimes they want to make sure that you’re ready.
People say there are no good men out here. That all the good one’s are already taken or loving up on some dude’s charlie . I say that is a bunch of poppycock. Yes I said poppycock. There are still some good men out here; some need to be dusted off and groomed a little but hey it’s still a good man. When it comes to relationships women have a list of what they want. They have at least 30 things on there basically describing the perfect man. Ladies, there is no such thing as a perfect man. That dude don’t exist, so please stop looking for him. If you can’t love someone for who they are, then you need to be alone.
Fellas, let me ask you a serious question. Can one of you fine gentlemen explain to me why collecting a chick’s underwear makes sense? I remember back in high school this guy I was seeing asked me for a pair of my undies. I don’t know if he was into smelling it, beating his shit or just wanted to show it off to his dumb ass friends. Either way I never understood the logic behind it. I’m not sure if grown men still do this shit, but I need answers. Is this another way to tally up the bitches you done smashed or do you like to try on the pretty lace panties? Does your pantie drawer show how much of a man you are?
I was talking to someone the other day and for some reason we started discussing panties. No idea where the topic came from, but we were on it. So he proceeded to let me know that he collected panties back in the day. This dude said he has a trash bag of panties from chicks he f*cked over the years. Now I ain’t one to judge, but I judged his nasty ass. Why da hell would you have rancid pussy juices in a bag holding onto? These chicks knowingly gave up their panties thinking their special when they were just being added to a trash bag of other bitches. Fellas, why is this necessary? Why hold onto the coochies of your past?
Like I said I’m not sure if this is shit men still do, I see college dudes doing this but still. If a chick went around collecting boxer shorts and shit she would be labeled some kind of sick hoe. Ladies, ya’ll gotta peep game. If he’s requesting the panties after a night of f*cking he has more stashed away somewhere. It’s just another notch on his belt. Your panties are intermingled with a few others until you just become another faceless panty to him. Now if you like shit like that, then I love it. Just want to understand the logic, but I think I’ve figured it out.
Holla at me: Has a guy ever asked you for your panties? If so, did you give it to him?
*Snapping Fingers* Welcome to the Diary of A Mad Guest Blogger. This is a segment where we feature readers/bloggers that got thangs to say. I want you to give a special hand to Nukirk.
“Men are complex creatures with all these rules they got going on between them”.
Really? I was a bit confused because we’re not that complex. Problem is, when you do ask us, you’re like “that’s bull.” (HA!) I understand that women are confused by men behavior like how I’m perplexed about women listening to Steve Harvey, Hill Harper… or… *gulp* Tyrese (I rather you listen to Hill Harpner. He’s actually cool, down to earth, reasonable AND asked me for directions once. Cool brother. Wish he didn’t ask me all cool like and I recognized him when he did asked me. Never read his book… I digress.)
Understanding a man doesn’t require a manual, Tyrese confusing tweets (yes, the last international men square circle meeting, we wanted to kick his ass out for stalking his baby mother) or Drake’s “singing”. It’s common sense, really. To prove that, I will decode 5 commonly used men laws/men codes/men rules that you’ll encounter during dating in the form of questions you may ask us. Follow me…
The opinions expressed in this post does not reflect those of Candy Diaries. Candy Diaries is an equal opportunity blogger, and thinks this is some trifflin shit. Here is the Mystery Man.Enjoy!
I want you
To have my first and my last child
But not now
I’m not done playing around
I’m not saying that
I don’t wanna stick around
I want to stick you…and every cutie in the town
Your cuffing season post got me to thinking about an ex I had. Our relationship began Sept of last year. Although we’re not together and I’m not in love I still don’t have any closure about our breakup. *By the way I was 17 and he was 18* In the beginning it was all good.. he was everything I thought I wanted except that it was a possibility that he had gotten somebody for a previous relationship pregnant. Once the baby was born he would do a DNA. Ok.. no big deal. Skip to a month later.. she has the baby.. no drama.. YET. Time kept passing by and my family kept asking me what was taking so long to get the dna out if the way. On top of that I found out ol girl still had feelings. But I still trusted that he would make good decisions and handle his business.
So although damn near every negro blog on earf *yes I said earf* discussed this earlier this week, I decided to do it now. So everyone was in an uproar because Chrissy from Vh-1’s show Love and Hip Hop decided to propose to her boyfriend of 6 years, rapper Jim Jones. Now I am not the smartest somebody on the planet, but wouldn’t it seem like if he doesn’t ask you he doesn’t want to get married? There honestly seems to be a hint of desperation when this occurs, but at the same time if you love someone and want to spend your life with them shouldn’t you make that move?
There are just certain things you just can’t deal with when it comes to relationships. Maybe you don’t like a man who’s shorter than you, or you don’t want to date a woman that has a kid. When it comes to your relationship shopping list, you weed out the things that you dislike and if you can’t deal with it you send them packing. I don’t think I’m a picky person, but there are just some things when it comes to men in general that are strict deal breakers for me. Meaning if your ass is holding anyone of these don’t you DARE try to holla at me, because that shit would be cut short faster than you can say “V.I. I was wondering…”. NO!
11. Your FB Page Is A Memorial For All The Chicks You Done Smashed~ Have you ever met a guy that you liked and you couldn’t wait to get home to google him? You get on the computer and look him up on Facebook to find that he has over 5k friends and every last one of them has a vagina? His wall consists of chicks arguing and leaving suggestive comments on his wall. Then you go to his pictures and he has photos with a different chick in all 237 pictures. His motto in life is “Get bitches or die trying”. Yea…that dude there cannot come anywhere near me. Getting women seems like a conquest than anything else to him. He’s the type that would want to smash just to say “Yo Veronica??? Yea I smashed that chick”. More concerned with the notches on his belt than the Syphilis he’s spreading. Ol nasty STD infested ass.
10. You Have Roommate aka Your Momma~ No grown ass man needs to be living with his momma in 2011. You parading up and down in a Lexus Jeep with your momma’s name on the title. You invite a chick over to the house and there is plastic on the furniture and a china cabinet in the dining room. You gotta tip toe up the stairs with your chick because you don’t wanna wake your momma…I mean your roommate up at 8:30pm. Your too damn grown to be writing your name on the orange juice dude. Get up out the house and be a man. You can’t possibly think you can court me right? You see what they’re trying to do is find a new momma. You get with them and they move from their momma’s house to yours. Dude just looking for someone to treat him like his momma does. Naw sir…you need to try that with those other chicks cause this chick here ain’t about that life. If you can’t bring nothing, but a penis to the table you are of no value to me. Good Day Sir!
9. You have Your Own Basketball Team With a few Assistant Coaches~ I don’t have kids, and in a perfect world I would meet a man with no kids and we can build the dream together. So since we don’t live in a perfect world, at this age I think it’s damn near impossible finding a man without at least one child. I can handle one or even two, but when your ass has 5 and up that is where I gotta draw the line. Not only do you have all those kids you have more than one baby mother? So not only do I have to deal with all your kids disliking me for coming my happy ass in the picture I got your baby mommas hating me in the process? I’m sorry, but I can’t deal with all that drama. I don’t do drama and I damn sure don’t want none. So if you know that you have too much going on in your life then skip over me. I rather spend the rest of my life alone with 18 cats and a parakeet than your 12 children and 8 baby mommas. I refuse to be a statistic.
“You’re a good woman. You’re strong, supportive and treat a man right”…but why are so many good women still single? Ladies, time and time again we’ve heard this line. You’re told you have all the great qualities any man would want, but no matter what time of day it is you’re always alone. No relationship lasts for the long haul. When it’s over you’re still nursing your wounds while they hop on the next bitch smoking. Is it that good women are too good or is it that men just don’t realize what they had until they end up with someone worse? Why do men praise your qualities, but still go after the trick bitches that ain’t got shit but a GED and 5 kids?