What’s your definition of
good GREAT sex? Everyone’s answers might be different, but the goal is the same. Great sex is the type of sex that makes you want to put everything in that motherfucker’s name. Lol iKid. The dick so damn good that you would get up at 2 am in the dead of winter and run outside to turn on his car so it can heat up for his ass. Great sex is the type of sex that make you say “fuck them bitches” when your girlfriends call you to go out to the club. Great sex is the type of sex that has your legs wobbling, sweat dripping off your titty and new hair do gone to hell but you still suck his dick as a fucking “thank you” just for being fucking you. When a man knows how to do it just right it can make every sex session feel like damn Thanksgiving.
So fellas, I got another homework assignment for ya’ll. This is only for the men that eat that cooch. Hell, there are some of you out there lying like a bear skin rug talking about you don’t get betwix those legs and slurp up all the cooch juice. I wanna introduce you to the Venus Butterfly Technique. You’re probably wondering what in the hell is this technique and how do I know about it. *Ashley Banks voice* “Mind yo bidness that’s all, just mind yo bidness” lmao….I slay myself sometimes. The technique was actually a fictional one that was worked into an old L.A Law episode, but somehow the white folks done made it real. Venus Butterfly Technique consists of stimulation of the clit with the tongue. You might be saying “Yo V.I., I do that shit on a regular basis”. Yea I know *side eye* but you never done it like this son. Sit down, relax and let me school you on clit 101.
Here I am with another installment of the Candy Licker. This time I got the ladies on deck. Ladies, there is nothing wrong with giving the kat the attention it truly deserves? A woman loves to be given special attention from her man. If a man can orally satisfy, then sticks his rock of gibraltar in her, and wear her ass out boo is defiantly the hawtness.
The thing that I noticed is some men are never in denial when it comes to nibbling on the blackberry. They’re proud to announce “I eats the coochie”, but ladies you need to make the coochie eating experience a great one. Please oh please do the necessary procedures to ensure he doesn’t die of coochie heat. You know what I am talking about, where it looks like you’re growing a chea pet down there. A man needs to see that it is visually appealing, because men go off of sight. Also, if you know you’re battling an infection of yeast please don’t allow him to get surprised. He will forever think you constantly smell like trout. Get it together.
If you’re not into oral stimulation, hey that’s cool that isn’t everyone’s thing. If you are, you must take care of yourself. That goes both ways…men I’m talking to you too. A woman doesn’t want to get in a 69 position and find out your dingle berries stink to high heaven. Wash under them balls.
*I know I don’t got shit to do, lol*
Holla at me: Are you into oral stimulation or you can live without it?
I need you to help me figure this one out. So I’ve been single for a while and I haven’t allowed anyone in my circle. There is this guy that I’ve been friends with for a few years and he has always had an interest in me. I wasn’t feeling him like that, but recently he approached me about being sex buddies. I was a little reluctant because we were just friends and like I said I wasn’t feeling him on that level.
I write about oral sex all the time, and I make jokes and what not, but this is a serious post. *Straight face* Oral sex is a serious matter. It actually can make or break a relationship. It’s sad to say but if you refuse to suck some dick and the occasional ball then your ass is gonna get a rude awakening. Men do not tolerate a chick that can’t deliver oral stimulation. I’m not saying he’s gonna stop f*cking with you. Just know that if you’re not doing it, another chick is probably pleasing your man.
Not every man has the knowledge of satisfying a woman orally. Some just go down there and eat that shit like they’re in a hot dog eating contest, while others devour that coochie like a fat kid with an ice cream cone. I’m not sure if eating the cooch puts too much pressure on a man that he goes in there like he’s retarded, or he’s just inexperienced in the art of making her cum with his tongue. *My Infomercial Voice*Here are some rules and techniques that can help you *pointing finger* become a better lady coochie eater.