Oh lawd geesus! The Real “Housewives” of Atlanta is back with another season and this shit right here looks so damn good. Like many of you I’m an RHOA fan and I just love all the silly simple shit these chicks do. They’re all messy as hell and I love that whole ratchet ass aspect of it. So last week Bravo released an extended trailer and I got so excited I damn near pee’d myself. You have to watch the video below to get the full measure of my excitement. Chile I am soooooooooooooo ready.
Ya’ll know I am a Real Housewives of Atlanta fan. I’ve watched since Season 1 and every season I am never disappointed. This season the talk has been about Kenya “I refuse to acknowledge that my skin is completely fucked” Moore, Phaedra Parks and her hubby Apollo. Now I know ya’ll have seen Sunday night’s episode with Kenya’s ass trying to push up on Apollo like her vagina is on fire and she needs him to put it out. One thing I ain’t here for is a bitch who can’t be respectful of what you got going on. This thirst driven psycho, I need a man but can’t seem to find my own type bitches. Now I know a bitch can’t come between you and your man unless he wants her to, but if you got a chick that chooses to be disrespectful to you and your relationship it’s time to check a bitch.
I was in a relationship with someone almost 7 years ago and within our 3 year relationship there was this one bitch that wanted me to bitch slap her. Now when we started seeing each other he told me about this chick *that I knew* trying to press him. For the most part he wasn’t interested, but I think a part of him was leading her on. This is before we got together mind you. So when we finally decided to start a relationship I respected the fact that he had female friends he had before me but I didn’t want no disrespectful shit going on. I don’t think she knew we were in a relationship so naturally she continued to try him. I told him to let this girl know what the deal is before I get in that ass. He emailed the chick and blind copied me on the email, I guess to prove that he let her know the deal. This ol spongebob square pants looking hoe emailed him back and said “I don’t care who you’re with, I still want you.” I saw that shit and totally put that chick on my shit list. You shit on me, bitch I shall shit on you. Now if this chick did shit and he didn’t check her then I would get in his ass. So this chick did not let up, she continued doing little shit but I wasn’t phased…until. So he called me one day and told me some shit that took it there. He said that he was on a website that we were all on at the time and this hoe had his picture posted on her page and under said picture it said “My husband” or some wack shit. He said he told her to delete that shit, but she ignored him. That was the last straw. I sent that bitch a message letting her know to chill the fuck out and she better take my man’s pic off of her page before I dragged that bitch by that nappy shit she had on her head.
I read that bitch for filth and of course she removed that pic from her damn page without even responding to me. If a man does some shit behind your back it’s up to you to handle your man. Dealing with the other bitch makes no sense because it’s your man that stepped out of the relationship. Now if this bitch can’t seem to catch the hint and continues to throw herself on a man right in front of you, you need to make sure that bitch know where you’re coming from. In terms of Phaedra, Apollo and Kenya; Kenya tried that shit and Miss Phaedra wasn’t having it. Kenya’s ass got so bold and asked Phaedra in front of everyone “If you could give Apollo a birthday gift and it involved 2 of your friends name two.” Phaedra looked at that hoe like one of her pimples popped and Michigan J. Frog came out dancing and singing with a cane and a top hat. Phaedra kicked prim and proper out the window and told that bitch “Kenya don’t play with me with that bullshit.” Ya’ll know Miss Donkey Booty don’t cuss…in public. She is not about all that tom foolery. That’s how a bitch will make you take it. When you try and try to be slick and just don’t quit. Trying to see how far you can go before you get cut or shot. Someone needs to warn these forever alone bitches that life don’t work like that. Like Phaedra said “a man chooses a wife, a woman should never run after a man” or something like that. I don’t know… I was too focused on her in that stripper attire with her booty looking like hamburger meat.
Last night was the Season 5 premiere of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, and all I can say is the sun was shining so bright cause all those bitches were under the shade. I think this was the Shade episode because no matter the conversation a tinge of shade was thrown, but hey these are the shade driven women of good ol shady ass Atlanta so I shouldn’t have expected anything less. Anyway, in good Candy Diaries fashion I’ve decided to my rundown of sorts of the show. If you missed it, then here you go.