Dear V.I.,

About a year after I graduated from high school, I had sex with someone I knew from school… I mean since elementary. The first couple of times it really wasn’t that great.  I have to say probably at the bottom of my list. We stopped talking for about year and then I moved away to another state.

I came back after about another year and ran into him again. We starting having sex again. The sex was definitely a lot better than I remember from the first times, fun and a little more spontaneous. Not quite great though. We stopped talking again, I think we were mutually bored. About another year passed and yet again I ran into him. We started having sex again, but this time it was so much better than before.

For about a year and a half the more sex we had the better it was. I mean multiple screaming orgasms and the head was ridiculous. I don’t even have words to describe how great it was. Herein lies the problem, the last couple of times we had sex I started catching feelings for him and I knew he could tell. The sex was still good but a little different. It eventually affected the overall performance and we had to stop talking. He’s not an option for dating (very immature) and other than sex we had nothing in common. I’ve gotten over the feelings for him, but the sex was so good it ‘s affecting my sex life now. Nothing and no one is measuring up to my heightened expectations. I fear my sex life is going to be disappointing from here on in. I want to be able to have good sex with other people. Did I get spoiled? What should I do?

Sexless In The City

Dear SITC,

Yea you sprung on that dip stick. The good sex got your lady parts confused. The problem that you’re having is that your searching for someone to give you the same feeling or better. In that case your siking yourself out. You’re not allowing yourself to enjoy it because you’re trying to see if they can do it like he does it. You will continue to be disappointed in the bedroom if you constantly have his long stroke on the brain. With sex there is always a hit or miss. Sometimes you get the nut and sometimes you don’t. That’s the funny thing about sex is if you allow yourself to enjoy it, you might find something more than just a great piece of ass.

If you’re trying to get into a relationship it won’t happen if you continue to restrict your mind. I say when you meet someone who you’re really interested in don’t jump into bed so quickly. I’m not saying that you do that, but I think if you really get to know someone you will be surprised at what might happen. I really believe that feelings make sex better. Hell that’s what happened to you. You started catching feelings and the sex became even more amazing. Allow someone to get into your mind first before you give him your candy cane. It seems that your candy cane is searching for something that your mind won’t allow.

I’ve really hoped I’ve helped you in some way. I am not an expert, I just give my opinions as I see fit. The decision is ultimately yours to make, so I hope you make one that is in your best interest. Keep me posted!