Ask V.I.~ I Lied And Told Him That He Is The Father

family walking down the street

Hi V.I.,

I just need to unburden myself to someone. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we have a 9 month old daughter. During our relationship I can admit that I haven’t been very faithful to him. The sex isn’t stimulating to me. He’s a good guy, but when it comes to sex he’s very one-dimensional. So, I started getting it elsewhere. I was doing pretty good until I started feeling sick and throwing up all the time. I thought I had the flu until I went to the doctor and she did a urine test. I was pregnant and didn’t know what to do. I had to make the decision if I should keep the child when I wasn’t sure who was my child’s father. I decided to tell my boyfriend it was his child. He was more stable financially than the other guy and frankly I knew he would be there and provide for her the way she needed to be cared for.

Now that my little girl is growing into her features I’m noticing that she resembles the other guy than her “father”. As a matter of fact she looks like his 2-year-old son. I’m so afraid that my boyfriend will question her looks. Last week he said that it’s interesting that she’s not getting any darker and wonders where she got her hazel eyes. I lied and told him that my grandmother had the same eyes so she got it from my side. I am so afraid that he’ll find out. He loves her so much and she adores her daddy. How can I tell him that he’s not the father? Should I take this to the grave while never telling him and her the truth? Should I tell him and risk him leaving us and having no one to provide for us? Please help me.

Living a Lie

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Lex’s PCOS Journey


I would like to introduce Lex, a reader of the website. Lex has stepped up to the plate and wanted to tell her PCOS story.

When I was diagnosed with PCOS I was 18 years old. I, however, knew something was different before hand. Many of my friends had their periods and I still had not gotten mines until way later than my peers had. My mom brought it up to my pediatrician. He assumed I was just a late bloomer, but could not explain why my breasts had come in but I had no period. He then assured us that with time my body would “catch up” and all would be well. Eventually, my first period did come and it was left alone.

Being young, I didn’t feel any particular way about it. I didn’t think about the changes going forward, but at 21.. Who really would think about it? As long as I was excelling in life and having fun – What else mattered?

I dealt with the symptoms I had at the time by literally dealing them. My symptoms from age 18 – 21 were: Hot flashes, irregular periods, sometimes no periods (as long 6 months at a time), painful excessive periods, skin tags (dark blotches on the skin particularly around the neck, and the face, and excessive weight gain and weight loss.

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Steph’s PCOS Journey

pcos diagnosis

I would like to introduce Steph, a reader of the website. Steph has stepped up to the plate and wanted to tell her PCOS story.

I found out I had PCOS at the age of 22. I was dating this guy, and I missed my cycle. I was 2 months late, so I just knew I was pregnant. My feet were swelling, my stomach grew and the cravings started coming. It was so obvious. When I went to the OB/GYN & he said that I wasn’t pregnant I was so hurt. I cried right there in the office. When we did the ultrasound he pointed out my ovaries to me & all of the cysts that were there.

When everything was over, I was so scared. Once he diagnosed me, I was so confused. I was looking up everything I possibly could. Trying to figure out what, why, & how I could have such a condition. Truth is, PCOS is a very common condition (1 in 15 women are affected). Living with PCOS is very hard. Some things I experience are heavy periods, severe cramping, longer than normal periods. Some other symptoms I deal with include acne, excessive facial hair, & hormonal imbalances, which make it very difficult to lose weight.

It also makes it very difficult to conceive children as well. There is no cure, but I’ve been taking birth control to regulate my periods & try to control the hormonal imbalance. It also helps to shorten my period. Unfortunately, because the lining is so heavy due to irregularity, I cannot lighten them.

Some advice that & tips I can give would be to make sure you see your doctor regularly. He/she will be able to help you either regulate or control your symptoms with the right medication. Always monitor your sugar intake. PCOS is caused by an increase in the production of insulin, you should monitor your levels to keep from experiencing early diabetes onset. Never ever ever skip breakfast. It truly IS the most important meal for women with PCOS. It curbs your “bad” cravings & helps to increase your chances of weight loss. It’s hard to live with PCOS, but I won’t let it control my life.

Thank you to Stephanie for sharing her story and hopefully her story has helped someone struggling with PCOS.

PCOS Awareness Month

I’m Surrounded By Pregnant Bellies…Help!

So I love my friends, but I’ve noticed a surge of pregnancies around my circle. Damn near every female I know is pregnant. I’m not saying that I’m bitter or anything, but um yea I’m a little bitter. I mean I’m happy and shit for the giver of life and all, but damn everyone around me seems to be making major moves and I’m still…well here. It’s like you realize you’re living a gay looking life. Just imagine…your single, in your 30’s and have no kids. Don’t that sound kind of lesbian-ish living? Hell even the manliest of lesbians getting pregnant. Some people say “You’re not missing anything not having kids. Enjoy your freedom.” It’s not really the not being knocked up that bothers a lot of women, it’s the fact that she’s basically unable to start the second half of her life. It’s like while everyone is living like a grown-up, she’s living like a 20 year old in a 30 year old’s body.

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Ask V.I.~How Do I Tell My Husband “You’re Not The Father”?

Hello V.I.,

I am truly stressing and I need some serious advice. I’ve been married about 5 years now and 3 years ago my husband and I started having marital issues. We started arguing way too much, so there was a point where we sorta separated. I went out one night with my friends and met this guy. We started exchanging texts and meeting for drinks. One night we slept together, which I instantly regretted. I felt so weird sleeping with someone that wasn’t my husband. I broke things off with the guy and had a long talk with my hubby and we decided to make things work.

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BRAND NEW: BEYONCE ~ Love On Top *Official Video*

Guess who’s back with another video??? Yes it’s my creole princess of all things beautiful. This time it’s the single “Love on Top.” She wrecked it at the MTV Awards now Bey did the damn thang again. The video is simple with Bey in her trademark black leotard with a army hat. Are those things called hats?? I don’t know…anyway Bey has ditched her female dancers and went with an all male ensemble. I like the video it’s clean and simple. I love the different scenes tho…Mother Bey getting these vids out for her public.

Oh by the by: I’m really starting to think Beyonce is NOT with child. I love her, but um yea I don’t see it.

Ask V.I.~ My Teenage Love Affair Turned Into A Nightmare

Hi V.I.,

Your cuffing season post got me to thinking about an ex I had. Our relationship began Sept of last year. Although we’re not together and I’m not in love I still don’t have any closure about our breakup. *By the way I was 17 and he was 18* In the beginning it was all good.. he was everything I thought I wanted except that it was a possibility that he had gotten somebody for a previous relationship pregnant. Once the baby was born he would do a DNA. Ok.. no big deal. Skip to a month later.. she has the baby.. no drama.. YET. Time kept passing by and my family kept asking me what was taking so long to get the dna out if the way. On top of that I found out ol girl still had feelings. But I still trusted that he would make good decisions and handle his business.

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Beyonce~ Countdown *Official Video*

Video footage by MTV

The Creole Queen of All Things Beautiful is back again. Yes queen mother has brought out the new video for “Countdown”. This is one of my favorite songs on the album. I played the shit so much it started making me sick tho. The video is  light-hearted and adorable as f*ck. The color, her dark hair and her trying to hide her little baby bump was so precious. Bey did’t do a lot of dancing of course do to her present condition of housing the heir to the Carter fortune in her perfect creole womb. I just love her….My Bey glowing.

Pregnant and Shaded: Why Some Men Deny Knocking You Up

It must really break a woman’s heart to know the man that she loves and thought would be there for her, would dip on her in her time of need. Many mothers have experienced the rejection from a man when she reveals that they’ve conceived a child. Sure some men may have reasons to worry that the baby isn’t his because truth be told there are a lot of shady chicks out here. Chicks ready to trap a man into taking care of some other dude’s responsibility. I’m talking about the man that know that the woman is and will always be down for him, and the second he hears a baby is on the way he gets ghost. Just deny his own child and runaway from his responsibilities. Why do men shade the women they’re with when he finds out he knocked her up?

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The Game of Trapping

I never understood why women and men for that matter go into the whole process of trying to trap someone. What the hell kind of sense does it make to have a baby with someone that either 1). The person doesn’t want to be with you. 2) Someone you’re just f*cking and think if you get pregnant, you will instantly become their partner. It seems like when some people aren’t too confident in their relationship, but they don’t wanna end it they think if they get pregnant they have no choice but to stay. I just find all of this as the dumbest  logic anyone can ever come up with. I know women and men that thought trapping the other person was a good idea, and then quickly realized that they made a huge mistake. Through all of this the children have to suffer because they have two of the dumbest people alive to call mom and dad. I got two stories. One where the man did the trapping and the other where the woman did the trapping.

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