Is Revenge Sex Worth It?

couple having sex

Break-ups are difficult for anyone to bare. You’ve been hurt by this person you loved and now you’re alone. You listen to all of the breakup songs on your Mary J.Blige Pandora station and you’re all cried out. It’s time to wash your face, put a Denman brush thru that hair and get your ass out the house. You have the bright idea to pursue other means of getting over your breakup. You decide to get under a man to cope with your breakup and take the shit out on his d*ck. Revenge (Rebound) sex can be the most liberating feeling while you’re in the act, but does it solve any damn thing after you’ve gotten all of the orgasms your body desperately deserved?

Continue reading

Have You Ever Left A Sexual Souvenir?


Let’s not pretend ladies, we’ve all tried to mark our territory when it came to dating. The second you give him the good shit, in your mind ya’ll go together. Spending nights at his crib and vice versa, cute texts back and forth throughout the day. Even cooking his favorite meals just to show him you know how to take care of a man. This is the dating stage; where you’re not in an exclusive relationship, but you’ll get upset if you found out that their seeing other people. If you’re aware of them dating others,  you may do extra things to make yourself look like the better choice. With that being said some women leave small sexual souvenirs just to make sure if there is another b*tch she knows that she’s not the only one. Also, it’s another way to make the relationship a little more serious if she has things at his house. The real test is for him. Will he keep your souvenir in plain sight or will he give it back to you so it won’t create conflict?

Continue reading

Should Cheating Be Expected In Long Distance Relationships?

woman on the phone

Being in a long distance relationship is so damn difficult. Not only is the distance a factor, shit can go left really quickly. To be in a successful long distance relationship not only does will power play a part, but trust is the most important thing. You never know what other life your partner may or may not be living while away. It’s easy to fall in to the trap of cheating. Once that loneliness sets in, and the constant phone calls aren’t enough shit can take a turn for the worse. What happens when you’re trying to do right by your partner, but your emotions and coochie constantly telling you something else? After spending those late lonely nights alone and fiendin for that touch that you would love your man to provide, is it acceptable to get it somewhere else? I mean it’s just until you and your man can see each other again. You are human and sometimes things happen right? Should slip ups be expected in a long distance relationship?

Continue reading

How Bad Sex With The Wrong Person Can Ruin A Relationship

couple in bed

No matter how wonderful your relationship is, bad sex can ruin everything you’re building. You can be compatible in every other aspect, but when it comes to the bedroom you’re struggling like a Meek Mill diss track. In my personal opinion no one is really bad at sex, it’s just that you may not be sexually compatible with your partner. So no matter how awesome everything else is, that one downside can change the aspect of your relationship. Here are my signs that you’re not sexually compatible with your partner:

Continue reading

Ask VI: How Can I Tell My Parents That I’m Gay?


Dear VI, 


I’ve been struggling with a secret for so long, because I am unsure about letting it be known to the people I love. I’m a 29 year old black man living in New York and I’m gay. I can finally admit it to myself after being in denial for so many years. I tried to deny my feelings because I grew up in a household where being gay wasn’t acceptable. I dated women to cover up the fact that I felt different. In college I got a girl pregnant in hopes that being a father would remove these feelings that I tried to suppress. At that point I never acted on anything, I was on the down low without actually being on the down low. About 3 years after the birth of my daughter I met a man online and the way I felt around him confirmed that I was indeed gay. We started a relationship and eventually moved in together 2 years later. 

The issue is, my parents think that he’s just my roommate. I haven’t told them that I am gay and the roommate they’ve known for 5 years is the man I’m in love with. I’m so afraid that my parents (mainly my father) will disown me. Like I said I am now 29 and holding in this secret from the people I love the most is just killing me. How can I tell my family without losing them? I know this site mostly caters to black women, but I really trust your advice. Love your blog.



He’s My Secret Lover

Continue reading

Is Being Faithful As Easy As It Seems?

  1. unfaithful man


Being faithful isn’t easy. Hell if it was then there would be a lot more happy relationships and a lot less cheating. When someone decides to cheat they have totally disconnected from their committed relationship. Let’s just get this straight. Cheating is not only a physical act. If you stepped outside of your relationship and developed an emotional connection to someone other than your partner that is cheating also. So many people feel like if the dick didn’t present itself then you’re not guilty of stepping outside your relationship. Girl goodbye. The second you became emotionally attached you’ve just cheated on your man/woman. Why does it seem that it’s easier to find someone who has cheated than to find someone who has never cheated in a relationship?

Continue reading