Being faithful isn’t easy. Hell if it was then there would be a lot more happy relationships and a lot less cheating. When someone decides to cheat they have totally disconnected from their committed relationship. Let’s just get this straight. Cheating is not only a physical act. If you stepped outside of your relationship and developed an emotional connection to someone other than your partner that is cheating also. So many people feel like if the dick didn’t present itself then you’re not guilty of stepping outside your relationship. Girl goodbye. The second you became emotionally attached you’ve just cheated on your man/woman. Why does it seem that it’s easier to find someone who has cheated than to find someone who has never cheated in a relationship?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being an independent black woman, but I think some women use their “independence” as a cover. Many single women shout “I’m independent. I got my own house, car and money. Yea I’m doing it for myself.” Hmmm last time I checked isn’t that what it means to be SINGLE? I don’t know how many of ya’ll will ride with me on what I’m about to say, but here goes. I think women confuse the term independent and they don’t realize all the shit they got is what a single woman is supposed to have. Then you have some women that use their “independence” to scare men away, then wonder why they can’t find any good men out there. Ya’ll confusing your damn self and chasing away any prospect for any long-term relationships.
“Catfish” has got to be one of the best tv shows ever invented by white people. It’s amazing how something that happens every day online has now become this global phenomena. If you’ve never heard of the “Catfish tv show”, it’s a reality show about every day people in relationships with people they’ve met online. The twist is that about 98% of the people they’re involved with are fake. It’s someone pretending to be someone else. Either it’s someone they already know that did it for some dumb reason or it’s someone whom they’ve never met did it because of their own internal issues about themselves are they’re just bored as fuck. The show is amazing!!! Any way I noticed that the theme of this show is always the same. The person being catfished is always someone who’s lonely in this thing called life and dealing with a lot of issues with themselves. They go online and basically devote their whole time and money to this one person that gives them the time of day just so they can feel whole again. This shit isn’t uncommon because folks have been getting catfished for years. What is uncommon is seeing it play out on tv and realizing how easy being lonely can screw your entire train of thought. Ok yea I got catfished about 13 years ago, so let me explain.
Can you have a friendship with his ex? I know most of you looking at this like “This heffa must be out of her mind.” I know it’s not that common, but it’s not unheard of either. There are some people who have a friendly relationship with their significant’s other’s ex. They may not hang out and shit, but they’re cordial with each other. No bad vibes, well at least on the surface. I can say that I’ve never had a friendship or even a decent conversation with an ex of anyone I’ve ever dated. Them bitches didn’t like me. Maybe because I looked better than their ugly asses. Whatever the reasoning I never had the opportunity, not like I wanted it anyway. I do know some women that hang out, go shopping even chat on the phone. Chile that is just a little too much closeness for me. Would you be able to befriend your man’s ex even though he’s not into her anymore?
Dear V.I. ,
Please help me!! Me and this guy are sex buddies and I’m honestly cool with that like I know what it is when he calls me and vise versa but it’s getting old that he hasn’t caught feelings yet usually I have to beg guys to leave me alone and this guy is just different… I don’t want anything special like a relationship I don’t even want to be a sideline and spend the night every once in a while I just want him wrapped around my finger…. PLEASEEEEEEE tell me how I can get him to get like that and obviously the sex isn’t gonna be the answer to that because he can have ANY girl I need to know some psychological shit I can do to have him hooked on me please get back to me soon!!
Want That N*gga Whipped
You talk about “your man” this and “your man” that, but when it comes to Valentine’s Day you don’t go anywhere or do anything. He gives you an excuse like “I gotta work late” or he stops by on February 13th to drop off your flowers and Walgreens chocolates and your eyes light up. You call him on Valentine’s Day to no avail. Later on that night you call his phone again and get the voice mail You assume he forgot his charger and will call you when his shift ends. Honey I hate to break the news to you, but while your at home munching on the stale ass $2.00 chocolates “your man” is out with his woman. You my dear are known as the side chick and it seems that you haven’t figured it out yet. On Valentine’s Day side chicks gets a bad wrap. Your in a relationship and he’s not, but obviously your too into him to see he’s not into you…like that.
It’s ok, to be the side chick someone has to assume the role. I just need ya’ll to remember your positions. Most men reserve this day for the main woman in their life. The one who knows him inside and out. The one who’s been there when he had nothing. Your the chick he met at the club, you let him hit and have been seeing him in the comfort of your apartment ever since. There is nothing to be ashamed of, I just want those of you out there to understand what this is and act accordingly. This man made “holiday” brings out the evil in some women. You got the bitter lonely women saying “Fuck Valentine’s Day…I’m so lonely I can die.” You got the women who are seeing someone, but not exclusively saying “I want to spend time with him, but he didn’t ask me to do anything. WTF is that about?” Then you got the women who think they’re in a relationship saying “Yea girl I called him, but he isn’t answering his phone. Maybe he’s gonna surprise me after work.” You never hear from that motherfucker until 10:30 am on February 15th with a ton of excuses why he didn’t see you yesterday. Don’t let your status leave you bitter. Wouldn’t you rather someone to show you genuine love all year round rather than on one day? I mean getting a card and shit is nice I guess, but anybody can give yo ass a card. Shit I remember once someone bought me flowers, within 10 mins a strong ass wind come through the house and blew the vase on the ground. In my opinion that was a sign that those flowers weren’t given to me by a genuine heart. If you can’t show me the love I need on a normal day, keep that Valentine’s shit.
So side pieces, now that you’ve realized just who you are in his life you need to either stop complaining or make a change. I know it’s hard to get away from good dick. Let’s face it, that’s about the only thing his ass really gives to you. I know it’s hard getting away from good dick, but if you rather be with someone that can not only love you when the lights are out then you need to change your situation. I’m not saying you gotta find someone and get boo’d up before the next Valentine’s Day rolls around, because there is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. I’m saying make sure you know where you stand in his life. If your content with being the chick on the side, then bitch do you. If not, then well bid that fool adieu.
You’re walking around calling him your man when that’s far from the truth. You’re not in a relationship, chile you’re in a situationship. You may be unfamiliar with the term situationship, so let me break it down for you. A situationship is a relationship between two people that involves hanging out, affection, sex and feelings for one another WITHOUT a title. Yes, that guy that you’re “with” that just isn’t ready for a relationship but ya’ll act like a couple…yea that shit. You’re in a situationship and didn’t even know huh? Your patiently waiting on the day when it will all change, but it never does. So what do you do? Continue to wait while doing everything you would normally do in a relationship or get out of it while you still have your sanity?
*Snapping Fingers* Welcome to the Diary of A Mad Guest Blogger. This is a segment where we feature readers/bloggers that got thangs to say. I want you to give a special hand to Elle Rose.
Those first few dates are the most important time of a relationship – not only do you need to make it clear you’re interested – but you also need to impress your date so they don’t go off and date anyone else! One of the best ways of doing this – I think – is to cook them a truly amazing meal and watch them marvel at your incredible cooking skills. Not only does this show you’re creative and great in the kitchen – but it’s also incredibly romantic and very personal too.
Let’s not pretend ladies, we’ve all tried to mark our territory when it came to dating. The second you give him the good shit, in your mind ya’ll go together. Spending nights at his crib and vice versa, cute texts back and forth throughout the day. Even cooking his favorite meals just to show him you know how to take care of a man. This is the dating stage; where you’re not in a exclusive relationship, but you’ll get upset if you found out that their seeing other people. If you’re aware of them dating other people you do extra things to make yourself look like the better choice. With that being said some women leave small sexual souvenirs just to make sure if there is another bitch she knows that she’s not the only bitch. Also, its another way to make the relationship a little more serious if she has things at his house. The real test is for him. Will he keep your souvenir in plain sight or will he give it back to you so it won’t create conflict?
I’m not gonna lie, I’ve left something at a guys house before just to see if he was gonna say something. It was a test to see if it will be there when I got back. I didn’t leave anything crazy, I just left my hair brush. Something simple, that didn’t seem so obvious. I left it in his bathroom and when I came back I EXPECTED it to be there. So I left it there sitting on the counter. I leave the house and comeback a few days later and casually went into the bathroom and it wasn’t there. I didn’t want to ask him for it, but I guess me going into the restroom triggered something in his memory. He said “Oh the last time you were over here you forgot your brush.” How about this dude went into his closet and took the brush from the top shelf. Now I’m looking at his ass like he was fucking crazy. This was when I went clear bat shit loco. I asked him exactly why did he put my brush in the closet, and he said he wanted to give it to me when I came back over. So he put it there so he can remember when he saw me. Now I ain’t the smartest somebody in the world, but from the looks of it he was trying to keep my little ol brush out of view. So exactly why did he have to hide my shit? Now I knew of no other woman he was seeing, so now my mind is going. He tried to make it seem like nothing, but at that point I was looking at him with the side eye. We weren’t in super exclusive relationship but like I always say “If I fuck you we go together.” Dude was living foul. A chick called my phone claiming to be his girlfriend and pregnant. I cut that drama off, and I wouldn’t have suspected anything if it wasn’t for that damn brush.
Fellas don’t get your boxers into a bunch. This is something some women do to test how serious the shit is. Everything a woman does has something behind it, remember that. Hell I know chicks that left panties and shit at a man’s house just to see what happens. Ladies, if you’re gonna give him test, please be prepared for the answers. They may not be what you like, but at least you’re aware of where you stand at that moment. So the moral of the story…don’t let souvenirs fuck up your somewhat kind of relationship.
Holla at me: Have you ever left something at a guys house on purpose?