Ask VI: How Can I Tell My Parents That I’m Gay?


Dear VI, 


I’ve been struggling with a secret for so long, because I am unsure about letting it be known to the people I love. I’m a 29 year old black man living in New York and I’m gay. I can finally admit it to myself after being in denial for so many years. I tried to deny my feelings because I grew up in a household where being gay wasn’t acceptable. I dated women to cover up the fact that I felt different. In college I got a girl pregnant in hopes that being a father would remove these feelings that I tried to suppress. At that point I never acted on anything, I was on the down low without actually being on the down low. About 3 years after the birth of my daughter I met a man online and the way I felt around him confirmed that I was indeed gay. We started a relationship and eventually moved in together 2 years later. 

The issue is, my parents think that he’s just my roommate. I haven’t told them that I am gay and the roommate they’ve known for 5 years is the man I’m in love with. I’m so afraid that my parents (mainly my father) will disown me. Like I said I am now 29 and holding in this secret from the people I love the most is just killing me. How can I tell my family without losing them? I know this site mostly caters to black women, but I really trust your advice. Love your blog.



He’s My Secret Lover

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Is Being Faithful As Easy As It Seems?

  1. unfaithful man


Being faithful isn’t easy. Hell if it was then there would be a lot more happy relationships and a lot less cheating. When someone decides to cheat they have totally disconnected from their committed relationship. Let’s just get this straight. Cheating is not only a physical act. If you stepped outside of your relationship and developed an emotional connection to someone other than your partner that is cheating also. So many people feel like if the dick didn’t present itself then you’re not guilty of stepping outside your relationship. Girl goodbye. The second you became emotionally attached you’ve just cheated on your man/woman. Why does it seem that it’s easier to find someone who has cheated than to find someone who has never cheated in a relationship?

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Surprise…I’m Back: Update On Where I’ve Been


Well well well…Look who’s back. I just wanted to reintroduce myself and give you an update as to where I’ve been. For those who don’t know me, I’m “VI” the owner and editor of this here blog. For those of you who have been rocking with me for years, ya’ll know I have been gone for quiet some time. It is totally impossible to update on the goings on, but I’m just here to say I’m back with the jump off. I do want to thank ya’ll for your continuous support throughout the years. Honestly when I started this blog I never expected anyone to even read the thoughts I had in my head. I was just writing it for me, but many of you identified with what I was going through. I’ve heard that I’ve helped women in situations with their relationships, but honestly you guys helped me. I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart.

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Sexing Your Ex While Dating Your Next

couple in bed

I swear some people just jump into other relationships for the shear purpose of not being alone. You get into another relationship claiming your over your last, but on the low you’re still jumping into your ex’s bed. There is no way you can move forward if your vagina is still stuck on the former tenant. Getting over a past relationship is a very emotional task. Love can’t just go away because you’re no longer capable of being involved with that person. Things like that take time. The issue is getting involved in another relationship while you’re still emotionally torn is just plain ol messy. Why would you allow yourself to hurt someone who has nothing to do with your drama, when you know good and damn well the past isn’t really the past?

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Can Black Women Be Racists?

unhappy woman

Is it possible for black women to be racists? Some say no, I say bullshit. Some black women can be the most racists people known to man. Ok, I may be exaggerating a bit but shit ya’ll know I’m telling the truth. I’ve noticed that when it comes to relationships some sista’s can be downright racists. Are sista’s racists are just fed up? Are black women justified in feeling they way they do? Are black women just looking for something else to bitch and complain over?

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All Hoes Have An Expiration Date *Vintage*

A lot of people fail to realize that a hoe no matter how hoe-ish he/she might be, doesn’t go very far for too long. All hoes expire at some point. Yea they’re hot for a minute, but once the guy/girl realizes that there is something out there better you will be a distant memory. There are a lot of chicks out here that think f*cking every guy for recognition, money or a damn purse is needed. They choose to live their life that way, but fail to realize there is a time that their services won’t be needed. They will be tossed to the side and left out in the cold with a busted and bruised coochie and a bag that is so last year.

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