Ask V.I.~ I Lied And Told Him That He Is The Father

family walking down the street

Hi V.I.,

I just need to unburden myself to someone. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we have a 9 month old daughter. During our relationship I can admit that I haven’t been very faithful to him. The sex isn’t stimulating to me. He’s a good guy, but when it comes to sex he’s very one-dimensional. So, I started getting it elsewhere. I was doing pretty good until I started feeling sick and throwing up all the time. I thought I had the flu until I went to the doctor and she did a urine test. I was pregnant and didn’t know what to do. I had to make the decision if I should keep the child when I wasn’t sure who was my child’s father. I decided to tell my boyfriend it was his child. He was more stable financially than the other guy and frankly I knew he would be there and provide for her the way she needed to be cared for.

Now that my little girl is growing into her features I’m noticing that she resembles the other guy than her “father”. As a matter of fact she looks like his 2-year-old son. I’m so afraid that my boyfriend will question her looks. Last week he said that it’s interesting that she’s not getting any darker and wonders where she got her hazel eyes. I lied and told him that my grandmother had the same eyes so she got it from my side. I am so afraid that he’ll find out. He loves her so much and she adores her daddy. How can I tell him that he’s not the father? Should I take this to the grave while never telling him and her the truth? Should I tell him and risk him leaving us and having no one to provide for us? Please help me.

Living a Lie

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Ask V.I.~ I’m His Sex Buddy, But Want To Be His Girl

woman straddling man

Hi V.I.,

I’ve been messing around with one of my best friends oldest cousin. Its been 2 & half month everything is sooooo perfect,but when something doesn’t go they way I want it to I call my friend. He doesn’t try to cover for him but he always says ” don’t expect so much from him ” so I don’t know!?  We haven’t argued about anything, when I call he comes. Something just doesn’t feel right. He hasn’t gave me a reason to leave but other people always have something to say! Our sex is amazing we talk and text all the time. I recently got pregnant and lost the baby but when I first told him he said it’s whatever you wanna do! A part of me feels like he’s hiding something because if were doing so well why not make me his girlfriend?

Pleaseeee help me!!

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Can Black Women Be Racists?

unhappy woman

Is it possible for black women to be racists? Some say no, I say bullshit. Some black women can be the most racists people known to man. Ok, I may be exaggerating a bit but shit ya’ll know I’m telling the truth. I’ve noticed that when it comes to relationships some sista’s can be downright racists. Are sista’s racists are just fed up? Are black women justified in feeling they way they do? Are black women just looking for something else to bitch and complain over?

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All Hoes Have An Expiration Date *Vintage*

A lot of people fail to realize that a hoe no matter how hoe-ish he/she might be, doesn’t go very far for too long. All hoes expire at some point. Yea they’re hot for a minute, but once the guy/girl realizes that there is something out there better you will be a distant memory. There are a lot of chicks out here that think f*cking every guy for recognition, money or a damn purse is needed. They choose to live their life that way, but fail to realize there is a time that their services won’t be needed. They will be tossed to the side and left out in the cold with a busted and bruised coochie and a bag that is so last year.

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Is Being Faithful As Easy As It Seems?

gaoktp034n

 

Being faithful isn’t easy. Hell if it was then there would be a lot more happy relationships and a lot less cheating. When someone decides to cheat they have totally disconnected from their committed relationship. Let’s just get this straight. Cheating is not only a physical act. If you stepped outside of your relationship and developed an emotional connection to someone other than your partner that is cheating also. So many people feel like if the dick didn’t present itself then you’re not guilty of stepping outside your relationship. Girl goodbye. The second you became emotionally attached you’ve just cheated on your man/woman. Why does it seem that it’s easier to find someone who has cheated than to find someone who has never cheated in a relationship?

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Single…Black…and Confused?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being an independent black woman, but I think some women use their “independence” as a cover. Many single women shout “I’m independent. I got my own house, car and money. Yea I’m doing it for myself.” Hmmm last time I checked isn’t that what it means to be SINGLE? I don’t know how many of ya’ll will ride with me on what I’m about to say, but here goes. I think women confuse the term independent and they don’t realize all the shit they got is what a single woman is supposed to have. Then you have some women that use their “independence” to scare men away, then wonder why they can’t find any good men out there. Ya’ll confusing your damn self and chasing away any prospect for any long-term relationships.

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How Lonely You Gotta Be To Get Catfished?

Catfish-The-TV-Anthony

“Catfish” has got to be one of the best tv shows ever invented by white people. It’s amazing how something that happens every day online has now become this global phenomena. If you’ve never heard of the “Catfish tv show”, it’s a reality show about every day people in relationships with people they’ve met online. The twist is that about 98% of the people they’re involved with are fake. It’s someone pretending to be someone else. Either it’s someone they already know that did it for some dumb reason or it’s someone whom they’ve never met did it because of their own internal issues about themselves are they’re just bored as fuck. The show is amazing!!! Any way I noticed that the theme of this show is always the same. The person being catfished is always someone who’s lonely in this thing called life and dealing with a lot of issues with themselves. They go online and basically devote their whole time and money to this one person that gives them the time of day just so they can feel whole again. This shit isn’t uncommon because folks have been getting catfished for years. What is uncommon is seeing it play out on tv and realizing how easy being lonely can screw your entire train of thought. Ok yea I got catfished about 13 years ago, so let me explain.

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Can You Kick It…With His EX?

Can you have a friendship with his ex? I know most of you looking at this like “This heffa must be out of her mind.” I know it’s not that common, but it’s not unheard of either. There are some people who have a friendly relationship with their significant’s other’s ex. They may not hang out and shit, but they’re cordial with each other. No bad vibes, well at least on the surface. I can say that I’ve never had a friendship or even a decent conversation with an ex of anyone I’ve ever dated. Them bitches didn’t like me. Maybe because I looked better than their ugly asses. Whatever the reasoning I never had the opportunity, not like I wanted it anyway. I do know some women that hang out, go shopping even chat on the phone. Chile that is just a little too much closeness for me. Would you be able to befriend your man’s ex even though he’s not into her anymore?

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Ask V.I.~ I Want Him Hooked On Me…Please HELP!!

man-begging-flower

 

Dear V.I. ,

Please help me!! Me and this guy are sex buddies and I’m honestly cool with that like I know what it is when he calls me and vise versa but it’s getting old that he hasn’t caught feelings yet usually I have to beg guys to leave me  alone and this guy is just different… I don’t want anything special like a relationship I don’t even want to be a sideline and spend the night every once in a while I just want him wrapped around my finger…. PLEASEEEEEEE tell me how I can get him to get like that and obviously the sex isn’t gonna be the answer to that because he can have ANY girl I need to know some psychological shit I can do to have him hooked on me please get back to me soon!!

signed,

Want That N*gga Whipped

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Valentine’s Day Makes Side Chicks Realize They’re Side Chicks

valentine's-day

You talk about “your man” this and “your man” that, but when it comes to Valentine’s Day you don’t go anywhere or do anything. He gives you an excuse like “I gotta work late” or he stops by on February 13th to drop off your flowers and Walgreens chocolates and your eyes light up. You call him on Valentine’s Day to no avail. Later on that night you call his phone again and get the voice mail  You assume he forgot his charger and will call you when his shift ends. Honey I hate to break the news to you, but while your at home munching on the stale ass $2.00 chocolates “your man” is out with his woman. You my dear are known as the side chick and it seems that you haven’t figured it out yet. On Valentine’s Day side chicks gets a bad wrap. Your in a relationship and he’s not, but obviously your too into him to see he’s not into you…like that.

It’s ok, to be the side chick someone has to assume the role. I just need ya’ll to remember your positions. Most men reserve this day for the main woman in their life. The one who knows him inside and out. The one who’s been there when he had nothing. Your the chick he met at the club, you let him hit and have been seeing him in the comfort of your apartment ever since. There is nothing to be ashamed of, I just want those of you out there to understand what this is and act accordingly. This man made “holiday” brings out the evil in some women. You got the bitter lonely women saying “Fuck Valentine’s Day…I’m so lonely I can die.” You got the women who are seeing someone, but not exclusively saying “I want to spend time with him, but he didn’t ask me to do anything. WTF is that about?” Then you got the women who think they’re in a relationship saying “Yea girl I called him, but he isn’t answering his phone. Maybe he’s gonna surprise me after work.” You never hear from that motherfucker until 10:30 am on February 15th with a ton of excuses why he didn’t see you yesterday. Don’t let your status leave you bitter. Wouldn’t you rather someone to show you genuine love all year round rather than on one day? I mean getting a card and shit is nice I guess, but anybody can give yo ass a card. Shit I remember once someone bought me flowers, within 10 mins a strong ass wind come through the house and blew the vase on the ground. In my opinion that was a sign that those flowers weren’t given to me by a genuine heart. If you can’t show me the love I need on a normal day, keep that Valentine’s shit.

So side pieces, now that you’ve realized just who you are in his life you need to either stop complaining or make a change. I know it’s hard to get away from good dick. Let’s face it, that’s about the only thing his ass really gives to you. I know it’s hard getting away from good dick, but if you rather be with someone that can not only love you when the lights are out then you need to change your situation. I’m not saying you gotta find someone and get boo’d up before the next Valentine’s Day rolls around, because there is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. I’m saying make sure you know where you stand in his life. If your content with being the chick on the side, then bitch do you. If not, then well bid that fool adieu.