People tend to make situations harder than they need to be. It’s a part of life to fall in and out of love. Sometimes relationships have a shelf life that just can’t be ignored. No matter how you feel or how much you care for someone, if it wasn’t meant to work at that time it wasn’t meant to work. The issue that many face is when a relationship ends without any indication…with so many unanswered questions. When someone just walks out of your life and you have no idea why or even what went wrong. This is when you’re left confused because the other person didn’t have the courage or even the balls to tell you why it’s over. Your more upset about the way they did it rather than why they decided to end it. You require closure. You need to finally put a nail in the coffin and move on, but if there is no closure you’re always left wondering…WHY?
This question has come up time and time again. Is it ok to date a friend’s ex even if your friend didn’t have an issue with it? Some people have said that there should be a “code” among friends that should prevent the other from even going down that road. Then on the other side you have others saying if “the relationship didn’t work out, there is a chemistry between the two and there is no love lost with your friend and her ex… so why not?” Something like this can break up a pleasant friendship, but I think every situation is different. Here are a few instances where I think dating an ex of a friend might not be such a bad thing.
Mimi has got to be the dumbest bitch ever to receive dick from a man. *sigh* Sorry I had to get that out, please excuse me. So last night the highly anticipated season premier of Love & Hip-Hop Atl debuted and chill the shit still hitting the fan. Of course there is the drama that we missed, but my simple ass thought that this love triangle with Joseline Hernandez, Stevie J and Mimi Faust was over. I mean Mimi this man disrespected the shit out of you on tv in front of millions. Made you look stupid as fuck, well you actually made yourself look stupid as fuck and we all thought that things were gonna change this season. Man I ain’t never been so wrong in my life. This situation made me think of all the women who get played like an atrac and still stay with this person for whatever reason. No matter how he has disrespected, cheated, lied and flaunted another bitch in your face. You still stay cause your self-esteem is shot and you think you rather have a half of a man than no man at all.
I’ve always heard the term ‘You gotta fake it, till you make it”. Like there is no way you can get to where your going being who you really are? Nowadays I see that it’s true that no matter how “real” you pretend to be, everyone fakes it. If you haven’t doctored up something in your life to make it more than what it really is, your not to be trusted. We see it all the time; fake friendships, fake career, relationships hell even faking it sexually has all of a sudden become popular. I remember a man once told me, “Even if I’m not satisfying you sexually, just pretend I am so I can feel like I did something”. This is the shit I’m talking about. People accepting what’s fake and taking it for reality. I just don’t understand when did fake become the new real?
I always believe that one should be themselves. Cut all the fake shit and just rock in their reality. I don’t claim to be someone I’m not. I don’t spend money I know my broke ass don’t have to floss for motherfuckers I don’t care about. I don’t keep fake friends in my circle, and trust me if I find their is some fake shit going on I have no problem dropping your ass to the curb. Basically I’m a realist about mine and don’t put on for others. I’m the same way in relationships as well. I’m not perfect or pretend to be. I have my flaws and I make sure I advise your ass of such. If I’m unhappy in a relationship we either discuss and try to work things out or we part ways. I know a lot of people that claim to be in these “wonderful” relationships, but behind close doors they’re miserable and unhappy. Because they don’t want folks to think that they aren’t capable of keeping someone so they fake it. Faking it for the benefit of others.
Maybe I’m doing it wrong. Maybe living in real-life is just played out and I need to be like everyone else and “fake it till everyone believes in it”. The thing about me is I could give a solid portion of a fuck what others think. Shit maybe that’s why I don’t fuck with a lot of people. I feel if I’m giving you the real me, I expect the same thing from them. I refuse put on for folks. Men pretend to be “ballers” to attract the groupies, who pretend to be “real women” to attract the ”ballers”. Bringing out their representative, showing folks who they wanna be and not showing what’s real. I always use the example of a used car salesman. He’s gonna tell you all the wonderful shit about the shiny car and even make shit up so the car can appeal to you. It looks great on the outside, but you don’t know it’s actually messed up under the hood. He’s not gonna discuss how the engine is fucked up, the brakes don’t work and the oil pan has a leak. He’s gonna show all the outside shit you can see and down play all the shit you can’t see with the naked eye. Truth be told if someone exposed what was really under their hood, would you really wanna stick around? So I guess continue faking it, maybe that’s the only reality some people have.
I just love to hear men give their honest opinions about this thing called relationships. So I was put on to this video series “Gentlemen Uncensored”on one of my favorite sites Madamenoire.com. It’s GROWN AZZ men discussing sex, relationships and marriage. You know I am here for it. I always want to know what goes through the male mind when it comes to these topics, and I guess the good people of Madamenoire.com heard my cry.
The panel consists of 6 men with different relationship perspectives. You have Harold “The Youngin”, DJ CEO “Mr. Complicated”, Carlos “The Divorce’ “, Ainsley “The Non-Commiter”, TMor “The Married Man” and Chris Kazi Rolle “The Convo Starter”.
Check out episode 1 of Gentlemen Uncensored: Why Did I Get Married. You can check out moreepisodeson their page over at Madamenoire, theiryoutubechannel and “like” their Facebook page . I’m positive you will get an eye opening experience when you watch the videos.
At one time or another everyone *well I don’t know about everyone* has had a physical relationship with someone they considered a friend. You know friends with benefits. You got that itch you need scratch and you call good ol Bob over to occupy your vagina for a few hours then go home. No emotions, no cuddling and no talking just two friends f*cking and calling it a night. Yea it always seems that simple until the second you get comfortable in whatever you consider that situation to be, and some shit happens that changes the whole dynamic. Now your no strings attached relationship all of a sudden has some very visible strings. So are you just hiding your strings in a or do they develop once the sex happens?
So yesterday we covered the plight of the cheating man. You guys had a lot to say about the interview on the site and off. Today is part 2 of the interviews, and now we have a different scenario This interview was done with a woman who was formally in a cheating relationship with a married man. Yes, I said a married man. This interview works as the first one did…anonymously. I wanted to show a difference in how the “other person” thinks in this type of situation.
Am I the only person that has ever been in a relationship that I no longer gave a f*ck about? Like, if he wanted to get some from some dumb soul I would give him a pack of condoms and send him on his way? Yea that might sound harsh to some of you, but that’s just how it be sometimes. Initially you like the person, you get into a relationship and 2 months later you can’t stand their ass. You only stay in the relationship because you like feeling a body next to you. You’re basically going through the motions. You may want to end it for many reasons, but do you try to rekindle the relationship or kick the lame to the curb?
I’ve realized that a lot of couples never speak about this topic. When women hear the word submissive they immediately give the “The motherf*cker must be crazy” side eye. I will admit the thought of given into submission is kinda of archaic, but if your man/husband is doing what he needs to do as the man of the relationship…why not?
So I just realized that today is my 4 year blogiversary. I feel like I’ve been doing this shit forever and a day. There were moments I loved, and there were moments I wish I could just forget. I’m really thankful that I’ve been doing it for this long, and I promise I will try my best to start back on a regular basis. I know I haven’t been blogging like I normally do, but I have a good reason. Well I don’t have a reason other than I just can’t come up with topics like I use to, but I promise I will try my best to get back to it.
Thank you all for being patient with me. I get hit up several times a day about when I’ll start blogging again. Thanks to all the devoted readers who have been there from the beginning. You guys truly motivated me to keep pushing and I thank you. I try to help and guide, but truth be told this writing thing has helped me out as well. Years ago I was boxed in, I couldn’t figure out why I was always put in certain situations when it came to relationships I had no one to help me figure shit out because no one I knew experienced half the shit I experienced. By writing out what was going on it not only helped me to understand, but helped heal a lot of shit that I repressed in my mind. My goal has always been to educated and talk about what women are afraid to speak out loud. The shit we like and don’t like in relationships, life and friendships. My goal has always been to keep it on level 10. No sugar coating, no bullshittin. Sometimes you need tough love to see what your doing wrong.
So again, thank you ladies and gentlemen that read my blog but pretend that you don’t. I love all ya’ll tenderly. Yes I said tenderly.
The contents of this blog is intended for entertainment purposes only and reflects some aspects of my personal experiences. Any opinions expressed through commentary are only my thoughts and personal views. All quoted material is credited to its original source. I do not claim ownership of any copyrighted photos or materials. To my knowledge it is being used in compliance with the copyright law. If you are the copy holder of anything I used on this site, please feel free to email me at the email address provided on this site.
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