We all have that one parent that just feels the need to stick their heads all up in our business. They always have an opinion about the person you’re dating and feel the need to express said feelings at every possible moment. Ok, so mommas will be mommas I guess. Well what about when you’ve met someone who you want to settle down with and your opinionated momma is dead set against your relationship? No matter how deep in love you are your parental unit just can’t see it for you. At what point do you set your momma straight or do you just end your relationship because she ain’t “feeling” him?
There is no “I” in team. Some things can be done on the solo but that don’t mean it’s to be done. I’ve noticed when a lot of people get into relationships it seems like they’re working against each other rather than with each other. When in a relationship I think team work is essential to make the shit work. How many times have you encountered couples that just argued all the damn time. You constantly think to yourself that these idiots need not be together because they’re just making each other miserable. Then you realize that they need to stay together because no one else should be subjected to their brand of bullshit. When you and your partner can discuss, compromise and implement within your relationship then it has no choice but to prosper. That makes me wonder if someone can’t work within a team setting should they be hopeful of finding a successful relationship?
In this day and age can a girl have too many options? Let’s face it, dating in 2013 is few and far between. Maybe in a year’s time you meet about 2-3 ok guys. You go out, try to get to know them and it always ends up the same; he’s on some other bullshit and you don’t have the time for that mess. So you continue living your carefree life until bam…you meet someone. Then you meet someone else. You leave your options open so much to the point you have about 4 men trying to get your attention and your head is spinning with all the options you now have and frankly it’s driving you bonkers. Why is it that too many options cloud your emotions? Is there such a thing as too many options in dating?
Lol…sometimes I just have to laugh. The things we go thru when it comes to love. The happiness, the hurt and the heartache. Loving someone is an emotional rollercoaster that doesn’t seem to stop. You have your ups and downs, your good and bad. Love is a splendid thing, but there are times that all good things can come to an end. You pick yourself up, dust yourself off and eventually move on. You apply what you think you’ve learned to the next relationship and pray that this one works better than the last. As time passes you’ve collected so much knowledge of who you are and what you want, that you refuse to settle. You’ve learned lessons sometimes you apply them and sometimes you don’t. Here are a list of lessons that have stuck with me over the years.
This needs to stop…like yesterday. We need to stop acknowledging those that are beneath us. When I say beneath us I mean those that’s aren’t about nothing you’re on. All they want to do is drag you down in their shit and give nothing to your life only take away. It may be a relationship with the man that just can’t do right by you. Maybe a friend that just isn’t really a friend to you, but pretends like they have your best interest at heart. No matter how we hate the things they do sometimes, we keep them around because we are loyal to the people we bring into our lives. Sometimes you reach to the point where you can no longer taking the tearing down. You can no longer take the backstabbing/two-faced type behavior. It’s time to stop acknowledging your lessers. Kicking those sorry ass people out of your life in order to better what you have going on.
The more time you give to those that don’t deserve it is basically takes time off of your life. Think about it. If you’re focusing on someone and their foolish behavior it makes you look foolish. Like my man Jay-Z said “A wise man told me don’t argue with fools Cause people from a distance can’t tell who is who.” Meaning the more you acknowledge and allow these losers to invade your life with their misery and messiness, you’re looked at as messy and miserable. Stop people just don’t need that kind of attention. The more you partake in the childish bullshit, you end up looking as stupid as your lessers. Like I don’t understand how folks get involved in social media beef. They bucking on a keyboard. These so-called internet thugs. I’ve seen so many twitter/FB beefs unfold before my very eyes and the shit is sad. Well the shit is actually funny because every last one of em steam from the same thing. A no good dirty ass man that fucking them and some other bitches, but they wanna get on each other. The only thing that shows is that you two look like an idiot while he’s off fucking some other chick in your bed while you’re at work. Basically the more you entertain the people that don’t matter the more you look like a fool right along with them. You are above the bullshit, so be above the bullshit.
Sometimes you just have to grow some balls and eliminate some folks from your life. It may be hard, but you really deserve better than what they have to give you. You need people to add to your life, not take away from it. So stop the internet beefs. Retire being an e-gangsta. You’re way above that life. The people who partake in that kind of activity on and off the internet don’t need to drag you down. Remove the baggage and move on.
People tend to make situations harder than they need to be. It’s a part of life to fall in and out of love. Sometimes relationships have a shelf life that just can’t be ignored. No matter how you feel or how much you care for someone, if it wasn’t meant to work at that time it wasn’t meant to work. The issue that many face is when a relationship ends without any indication…with so many unanswered questions. When someone just walks out of your life and you have no idea why or even what went wrong. This is when you’re left confused because the other person didn’t have the courage or even the balls to tell you why it’s over. Your more upset about the way they did it rather than why they decided to end it. You require closure. You need to finally put a nail in the coffin and move on, but if there is no closure you’re always left wondering…WHY?
This question has come up time and time again. Is it ok to date a friend’s ex even if your friend didn’t have an issue with it? Some people have said that there should be a “code” among friends that should prevent the other from even going down that road. Then on the other side you have others saying if “the relationship didn’t work out, there is a chemistry between the two and there is no love lost with your friend and her ex… so why not?” Something like this can break up a pleasant friendship, but I think every situation is different. Here are a few instances where I think dating an ex of a friend might not be such a bad thing.
Mimi has got to be the dumbest bitch ever to receive dick from a man. *sigh* Sorry I had to get that out, please excuse me. So last night the highly anticipated season premier of Love & Hip-Hop Atl debuted and chill the shit still hitting the fan. Of course there is the drama that we missed, but my simple ass thought that this love triangle with Joseline Hernandez, Stevie J and Mimi Faust was over. I mean Mimi this man disrespected the shit out of you on tv in front of millions. Made you look stupid as fuck, well you actually made yourself look stupid as fuck and we all thought that things were gonna change this season. Man I ain’t never been so wrong in my life. This situation made me think of all the women who get played like an atrac and still stay with this person for whatever reason. No matter how he has disrespected, cheated, lied and flaunted another bitch in your face. You still stay cause your self-esteem is shot and you think you rather have a half of a man than no man at all.
I’ve always heard the term ‘You gotta fake it, till you make it”. Like there is no way you can get to where your going being who you really are? Nowadays I see that it’s true that no matter how “real” you pretend to be, everyone fakes it. If you haven’t doctored up something in your life to make it more than what it really is, your not to be trusted. We see it all the time; fake friendships, fake career, relationships hell even faking it sexually has all of a sudden become popular. I remember a man once told me, “Even if I’m not satisfying you sexually, just pretend I am so I can feel like I did something”. This is the shit I’m talking about. People accepting what’s fake and taking it for reality. I just don’t understand when did fake become the new real?
I always believe that one should be themselves. Cut all the fake shit and just rock in their reality. I don’t claim to be someone I’m not. I don’t spend money I know my broke ass don’t have to floss for motherfuckers I don’t care about. I don’t keep fake friends in my circle, and trust me if I find their is some fake shit going on I have no problem dropping your ass to the curb. Basically I’m a realist about mine and don’t put on for others. I’m the same way in relationships as well. I’m not perfect or pretend to be. I have my flaws and I make sure I advise your ass of such. If I’m unhappy in a relationship we either discuss and try to work things out or we part ways. I know a lot of people that claim to be in these “wonderful” relationships, but behind close doors they’re miserable and unhappy. Because they don’t want folks to think that they aren’t capable of keeping someone so they fake it. Faking it for the benefit of others.
Maybe I’m doing it wrong. Maybe living in real-life is just played out and I need to be like everyone else and “fake it till everyone believes in it”. The thing about me is I could give a solid portion of a fuck what others think. Shit maybe that’s why I don’t fuck with a lot of people. I feel if I’m giving you the real me, I expect the same thing from them. I refuse put on for folks. Men pretend to be “ballers” to attract the groupies, who pretend to be “real women” to attract the ”ballers”. Bringing out their representative, showing folks who they wanna be and not showing what’s real. I always use the example of a used car salesman. He’s gonna tell you all the wonderful shit about the shiny car and even make shit up so the car can appeal to you. It looks great on the outside, but you don’t know it’s actually messed up under the hood. He’s not gonna discuss how the engine is fucked up, the brakes don’t work and the oil pan has a leak. He’s gonna show all the outside shit you can see and down play all the shit you can’t see with the naked eye. Truth be told if someone exposed what was really under their hood, would you really wanna stick around? So I guess continue faking it, maybe that’s the only reality some people have.
I just love to hear men give their honest opinions about this thing called relationships. So I was put on to this video series “Gentlemen Uncensored”on one of my favorite sites Madamenoire.com. It’s GROWN AZZ men discussing sex, relationships and marriage. You know I am here for it. I always want to know what goes through the male mind when it comes to these topics, and I guess the good people of Madamenoire.com heard my cry.
The panel consists of 6 men with different relationship perspectives. You have Harold “The Youngin”, DJ CEO “Mr. Complicated”, Carlos “The Divorce’ “, Ainsley “The Non-Commiter”, TMor “The Married Man” and Chris Kazi Rolle “The Convo Starter”.
Check out episode 1 of Gentlemen Uncensored: Why Did I Get Married. You can check out moreepisodeson their page over at Madamenoire, theiryoutubechannel and “like” their Facebook page . I’m positive you will get an eye opening experience when you watch the videos.
The contents of this blog is intended for entertainment purposes only and reflects some aspects of my personal experiences. Any opinions expressed through commentary are only my thoughts and personal views. All quoted material is credited to its original source. I do not claim ownership of any copyrighted photos or materials. To my knowledge it is being used in compliance with the copyright law. If you are the copy holder of anything I used on this site, please feel free to email me at the email address provided on this site.
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