When The Lonely… Become Desperate

being-mary-jane-gabrielle-union

Loneliness can be that bitch sometimes. When you have the world on your shoulders and it feels like everyday it’s weighing you down. When it comes to lack of relationships women tend to become bitter and pessimistic. Once a woman becomes lonely they either experience 1 of 2 things. They’re either bitter as hell and no man can come within 10 feet of them, or they become so desperate all you gotta do is shake your head because it hurts to even look at em. Either way, some allow their loneliness to turn in to desperation.

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Ask V.I.~He Made Me His Girlfriend, Then Took It Back

father and sons

Hi VI,

So I started dating a full-time single Dad of a 2yr old. In the beginning it was great then he put a label on it making me his gf.  Then he starred pulling away and when I would complain we never found anytime for me (weekdays weren’t good cause if the kid.. Daycare etc.   But weekends he wanted to just chill and have alone time) he freaked our saying I was pressuring him, overwhelming him it was too much. I’m a pretty easy-going chick so when I say complain I mean “hey babe am I going to see you this weekend “  Finally I had enough of being a gf of convenience and ended it but remained friends..which turned into a booty call or so I thought.  Yes we had sex and lots of it (more than we had in the 2 months we were together combined) but we talked hung out laughed and during the talk he said this was better no pressure and didn’t want to stop seeing me.  He doesn’t want to see or fuck anyone else either.     So my question is.. Did the label gf/bf really freak him out even though he pushed for it  and introduced me to his family and why?  And even if you remove the label but we’re exclusive isn’t that the same thing?

 Confused and Sexually Satisfied

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Friends Before Lovers? Should You Be Friends First?

couple arm wrestling

We all know a couple that have been long time friends and then decided to take their friendship to another level. They’re both single and get along great, so why not see if they can actually date? Many say it’s an easy transition from friends to lovers. A relationship works better if you’ve developed a friendship before becoming intimate. I do agree, but damn what if the relationship doesn’t work out the way you’d hoped. Can you easily go back to being “just friends”?

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What Are Your Relationship Resolutions for 2014?

couple in bed

 

Another year has come and gone and it’s about time you finally realized you’re doing the same thing over and over when it comes to relationships. You viewed every man you meet as ain’t shit and you spent the majority of 2013 drinking wine complaining to your girlfriends how men out here just can’t do right. Yep you’re the issue girl. The sooner you realize that the better. You continuously allow the same man to get into your head each and every time. Sure they may look different, but you go after the same assholes that don’t know their ass from their elbows. They’re into the thrill of the chase and when they catch you they throw you back like in the ocean like Nemo. It’s all on you. You pick em then surprised that they’re full of it. It’s time you do something different. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. If you constantly go for “what you know” you’re gonna get exactly that. The same ain’t shit situation that leaves you downing glasses of Moscato while you sit at home on Friday nights watching episodes of “Say Yes To The Dress”. It’s a new year, it’s time for a new outlook. What are you willing to change in 2014? What are your relationship resolutions?

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Can You Continue Your Relationship If Your Parent Objects?

joyce-kandi

 

We all have that one parent that just feels the need to stick their heads all up in our business. They always have an opinion about the person you’re dating and feel the need to express said feelings at every possible moment. Ok, so mommas will be mommas I guess. Well what about when you’ve met someone who you want to settle down with and your opinionated momma is dead set against your relationship? No matter how deep in love you are your parental unit just can’t see it for you. At what point do you set your momma straight or do you just end your relationship because she ain’t “feeling” him?

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Teamwork Makes Relationships Successful

beyonce-jay-fist-bump

There is no “I” in team. Some things can be done on the solo but that don’t mean it’s to be done. I’ve noticed when  a lot of people get into relationships it seems like they’re working against each other rather than with each other. When in a relationship I think team work is essential to make the shit work. How many times have you encountered couples that just argued all the damn time. You constantly think to yourself that these idiots need not be together because they’re just making each other miserable. Then you realize that they need to stay together because no one else should be subjected to their brand of bullshit. When you and your partner can discuss, compromise and implement within your relationship then it  has no choice but to prosper. That makes me wonder if someone can’t work within a team setting should they be hopeful of finding a successful relationship?

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Is There Such A Thing As Too Many Options?

woman-surrounded-by-men

In this day and age can a girl have too many options? Let’s face it, dating in 2013 is few and far between. Maybe in a year’s time you meet about 2-3 ok guys. You go out, try to get to know them and it always ends up the same; he’s on some other bullshit and you don’t have the time for that mess. So you continue living your carefree life until bam…you meet someone. Then you meet someone else. You leave your options open so much to the point you have about 4 men trying to get your attention and your head is spinning with all the options you now have and frankly it’s driving you bonkers. Why is it that too many options cloud your emotions? Is there such a thing as too many options in dating?

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What Lessons Have You Learned From Love?

friends embracing

 

Lol…sometimes I just have to laugh. The things we go thru when it comes to love. The happiness, the hurt and the heartache. Loving someone is an emotional rollercoaster that doesn’t seem to stop. You have your ups and downs, your good and bad. Love is a splendid thing, but there are times that all good things can come to an end. You pick yourself up, dust yourself off and eventually move on. You apply what you think you’ve learned to the next relationship and pray that this one works better than the last. As time passes you’ve collected so much knowledge of who you are and what you want, that you refuse to settle. You’ve learned lessons sometimes you apply them and sometimes you don’t. Here are a list of lessons that have stuck with me over the years.

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Stop Acknowledging Your Lessers

woman on the phone

This needs to stop…like yesterday. We need to stop acknowledging those that are beneath us. When I say beneath us I mean those that’s aren’t about nothing you’re on. All they want to do is drag you down in their shit and give nothing to your life only take away. It may be a relationship with the man that just can’t do right by you. Maybe a friend that just isn’t really a friend to you, but pretends like they have your best interest at heart. No matter how we hate the things they do sometimes, we keep them around because we are loyal to the people we bring into our lives. Sometimes you reach to the point where you can no longer taking the tearing down. You can no longer take the backstabbing/two-faced type behavior. It’s time to stop acknowledging your lessers. Kicking those sorry ass people out of your life in order to better what you have going on.

The more time you give to those that don’t deserve it is basically takes time off of your life. Think about it. If you’re focusing on someone and their foolish behavior it makes you look foolish. Like my man Jay-Z said “A wise man told me don’t argue with fools
Cause people from a distance can’t tell who is who.” Meaning the more you acknowledge and allow these losers to invade your life with their misery and messiness, you’re looked at as messy and miserable. Stop people just don’t need that kind of attention. The more you partake in the childish bullshit, you end up looking as stupid as your lessers. Like I don’t understand how folks get involved in social media beef. They bucking on a keyboard. These so-called internet thugs. I’ve seen so many twitter/FB beefs unfold before my very eyes and the shit is sad. Well the shit is actually funny because every last one of em steam from the same thing. A no good dirty ass man that fucking them and some other bitches, but they wanna get on each other. The only thing that shows is that you two look like an idiot while he’s off fucking some other chick in your bed while you’re at work. Basically the more you entertain the people that don’t matter the more you look like a fool right along with them. You are above the bullshit, so be above the bullshit.

Sometimes you just have to grow some balls and eliminate some folks from your life. It may be hard, but you really deserve better than what they have to give you. You need people to add to your life, not take away from it. So stop the internet beefs. Retire being an e-gangsta. You’re way above that life. The people who partake in that kind of activity on and off the internet don’t need to drag you down. Remove the baggage and move on. 

Sometimes Closure Is All You Need…That’s It

unhappy-couple

 

People tend to make situations harder than they need to be. It’s a part of life to fall in and out of love. Sometimes relationships have a shelf life that just can’t be ignored. No matter how you feel or how much you care for someone, if it wasn’t meant to work at that time it wasn’t meant to work. The issue that many face is when a relationship ends without any indication…with so many unanswered questions. When someone just walks out of your life and you have no idea why or even what went wrong. This is when you’re left confused because the other person didn’t have the courage or even the balls to tell you why it’s over. Your more upset about the way they did it rather than why they decided to end it. You require closure. You need to finally put a nail in the coffin and move on, but if there is no closure you’re always left wondering…WHY?

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