Kissing is one of the most sensual things between two people. The right kiss leads to the right everything else. Not everyone is a good kisser. Either they haven’t had enough practice or they just naturally suck (literally). I’ve met some men that truly had different styles of kissing. Some left me breathless and some made me offer them breath mints. I have compiled a list of different kissing techniques I have experienced.

1.The Romantic Kisser~ This man loves to take his time. Every time he kisses you it is a passionate experience that usually leads to love making. This is one of my favorite styles of kissing.

2.The Biter~ Ahhhh. This is the most painful kiss. I had a dude kiss me one time and used his teeth to scrap my lips. Let’s just say by the end of the night my shit was swollen. Not a good look.

3.The Slobber~This in my opinion is the grossest form of kissing. My first boyfriend did this and it was the wettest kiss I have ever had. Spittle everywhere. Yuck. Moving on!

4.The High School Kiss~This is another one of my favorite kisses. This is the tongue down. Remember in high school when you were seeing someone and you hadn’t had sex yet, kissing was all you had. This is the powerful kiss where your hormones are raging and you just want to tear your clothes off and do things you mama told you not to do until your married.

5.The Dry Ass Kisser~This is the kiss that leaves you thirsty for water. His lips are so dry his ass is starting to draw blood. This ends up to be a one time thing, unless his ass gets some chap stick and keep it handy at all times.

6. The Shit Breath~ This dude doesn’t get kissed. You can smell shit breath from a mile away. Chances are this is the first and last date you will have will this person, because halitosis is not the business.

7.Non Kissing Fool~I absolutely hate this guy. Well unless we are just having sex, then my ass ain’t kissing you either. Most of the time this is the dude that is married or in a relationship and kissing would seem like he is cheating on his girl. Ironically, HE IS ABOUT TO HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE. I think they feel this way because kissing is more of an intimate pleasure while sex can be achieved with sticking his dick through a hole in the wall. * Some men sex anything*.

Exhaustion sex is the absolute best sex to experience. You’re in bed looking at each other like “Damn baby what the hell you just did to me”. That’s the type of sex that leaves you breathless and when you try to stand your legs are like jelly. Knowing that the position that you were just in made you feel that long stroke in your abdomen, but you ignore the pain so you can feel the pleasure. So after all the huffing and puffing, the whining and grinding, how did you and your lover get to this point? Fellas, I have 10 do’s and don’t to pleasing a woman.

1. Pay Attention: Fellas we do understand when you get a chance to see the la cucaracha you try to focus on aiming for the hole. Dude, you have to pay attention to the other parts of the body as well. Nothing drives a woman insane than a man kissing her in different spots. I damn near lost it when I was kissed behind the knees one time. Something so small can go a long way.

2. Be Playful: The missionary position was cool in the 12th grade, but you’re a grown ass man now. Women love to know that their man can step outside the box and play around with her. Role playing is always good when having sex. I always liked nude wrestling. You get a chance to see who can pin who first, and maybe *oops* you slip in the hole while trying to pin me. Always fun.

3. Never Use Your Teeth There: Oral sex was made for stimulation and enjoyment for all. So when you decide to use your teeth, the party is over. NEVER use your teeth when orally satisfying a woman. The la cucaracha is very sensitive, and one false move and you can give your chick a homemade hysterectomy.

4. Don’t be afraid to take control: Different women like different things. Some like the ordinary things when having sex, and some like a little kink. I have learned something about myself that I never thought I would admit. I love to be choked!!!! It is such a rush, that I can’t explain. The key is not to choke her like your trying to kill her. Um No! A slight pressure to the neck while giving her the slow hard stroke, and baby girl will be begging you on the next go round to do it again. Also, spanking is a must when having sex. One good smack on the ass also can heighten the sex pleasure.

5. Activate your Tongue: Bump what you heard; a man needs to know how to use his tongue when giving head. Don’t be afraid to put your tongue in there. A woman likes to feel your slippery tongue near her slippery slope, you’re guaranteed wetness. Well, if your boo isn’t as fresh as a summer’s breeze then you might want to hold off on that.

6. Let Her Go First: Women absolutely hate when a man cums first and she is left high and instantly dry. Your jobs are to please each other, but I am sorry to say it is common courtesy to let her go first. It isn’t selfish, you should make sure she is satisfied and then she can focus on you.

7. Smack it, Flip It, and Rub It Down: The back shot aka doggy style is an iconic position when it comes to sex. With this position the man can take control of the situation. The woman is faced down, ass up and feeling every inch of his jack hammer. A woman can work those hips on it, but having her exhausted from your strokes is a good look too.

8. Go to the Market: Some women and I am not one, like a man that can pay attention to her feet. Lick them toes! I just find the whole thing gross, but some women require that. *Attention* Pedicures are a must. If that chick toes aren’t did, then toes won’t get done.

9. Take it Outside The Bedroom: Bedroom sex is ok, but sometimes it’s better to take it in other rooms in the house. I always loved the bathroom and the kitchen, but you can take it to where ever the mood takes you. I never liked the couch because I say to myself, “I don’t think I want guest over and they are unknowingly sitting where I got my back bruk last night”.

10. Wipe It Down: After everything is said and done and we both came together, get up and get something to clean her up. There is nothing sexier than seeing your boo wiping up the mess you both made. Really, get in there and get everything. LOL.. Well you can let her do all that, but you can bring her a warm wash cloth and seductively wipe her down.

I hope you learned something today…Class is dismissed. Any questions?

This is actually an old post, but I used it for “Ask V.I.” because I received an email asking for tips. So instead of repeating myself, I’ve decided to just post the readers question and post my original blog underneath. Enjoy!

Dear V.I.,

So i read the blog about riding d*ck. I really want to learn how to ride. i am afraid of trying because i don’t want him to tell me in no good at it . What kind of information would you give to a beginner like me . i just want to be good at it but im scared to try . What can i do to become and expert ?

Thanks

I’ve realized that most women are intimidated to actually ride a stallion. I’m not sure if it’s just lack of experience or the fact they’re afraid he won’t think they’re any good. Either way, many women shy away from that position because they lack confidence in their abilities. It’s ok to feel intimidated, but you can’t let that shit scare you away. The first rule in penis riding is….ride, ride, and ride until you get it right. Men love a woman that can take the lead. If you can sit down pun it and work his d*ck till he sweats semen, girl you did your job.

The one thing you have to realize when you’re about to straddle him is that you’re in control. That means whatever you do have to leave a lasting impression on him. I’m not sure if you ever had the chance to actually ride a horse, but it’s basically the same thing. Don’t just plop down on the peen, you have to make him feel every crease of your cooch while he enters you. Position your hands on his chest. That way not only do you have leverage; you can feel up on his man nipples too. Now for the best effect you should lean forward on your hands. Depending on the his size, this move helps you to guide more freely on it. This also gives you more control of the amount of penetration you want.

Now that you have the basic position down, it’s time to ride. You can go about this several ways. You can continue in the forward motion and topple that shit, or you can switch your movements. Many folks bounce up and down on it. I really don’t like that for too long because not only are you slapping  so hard, sometimes your legs get in the way and that  can get uncomfortable. If you want to get your legs in a more comfortable position, plant your feet instead of kneeling. This way he can assist you if need be, but bitch this is your moment to shine. Screw the hell out of him. Whatever speed suits you, go for that it. Hell do that backwards sometimes; just do something that leaves his ass begging for more.

This is just a few tips on how to ride his man killa. Hopefully you put these tips to good use.Oh and I can never stress this enough ladies, practice those Kegals. Gripping  along with riding it is the ultimate experience. Every time you move hold that rod with your muscles. You’re basically f*ucking and pumping that peen with your coochie all at the same time. Well report back if you decided to try it and let me know how it turned out. Team f*ck em right is in effect ya’ll……