So although damn near every negro blog on earf *yes I said earf* discussed this earlier this week, I decided to do it now. So everyone was in an uproar because Chrissy from Vh-1′s show Love and Hip Hop decided to propose to her boyfriend of 6 years, rapper Jim Jones. Now I am not the smartest somebody on the planet, but wouldn’t it seem like if he doesn’t ask you he doesn’t want to get married? There honestly seems to be a hint of desperation when this occurs, but at the same time if you love someone and want to spend your life with them shouldn’t you make that move?

A lot of women have the same stance on this issue; a man should be the one to get down on bended knee. Although we live in a non-traditional society, there are some things that hasn’t really changed. If a man loves a woman enough that he wants to spend his life with her, then by all means he needs to get down on his knees and ask you for your hand. If he doesn’t ask you for your hand that clearly tells me that you ain’t that chick. Granted some men might be a little nervous doing it, but when it comes to love it’s just one big ball of freight anyway. For years one of my guys friends always said “If a woman doesn’t propose to me, I will never get married” “If she loves me enough, she should ask”. When the hell this type of shit occurred, when a woman has to propose to a man that show him how she really feels?  He also said women cry about equality so if she wants to get married so bad, she needs to be the one to do it. Listen I don’t give a flying f*ck if I talk about marriage until I’m blue in the face, asking you to marry me is a no-no. I’ve learned my lesson.

So I guess I gotta tell the story then…wanna hear it? Here it go…

One time I asked a guy to marry me.  Well truth be told I was partly joking, but I was kinda serious. I knew I loved him and THOUGHT I wanted to spend my life with him, so I said it. Now when I said it I didn’t even know I was gonna say it. It just came out of nowhere. I said it with a slight giggle, but the knee-grow got silent as hell and had the deer in headlights look going on. Although I was kinda sorta joking I didn’t expect the man to be silent and shit. I was so embarrassed I walked away and immediately started to kick my own ass. I wasn’t embarrassed because of my love for him. I was embarrassed because at that very moment I felt I jumped into a “type”. I was the chick that couldn’t wait for it to happen. I was the chick that was gonna make it happen. I was taking away his role as a man. Now I don’t know if this man ever wanted to marry me *even though till this day he said he wish he did*, but I felt like he felt that I was so desperate to get married that I just asked. Again, although I was partially joking I wished at that very moment I could take it all back. It just wasn’t my place as a woman to ask a grown ass man to marry me. Now I didn’t go down on bended knee and shit like Chrissy did, but I felt f*cking stupid just the same.

Sometimes men get so afraid of the word “marriage” that when it comes to taking that step, they can’t bring themselves to do it. Marriage has gotten a bad rap because a lot of commitment-phobic people still jumped the broom and wished they didn’t. I’ve heard marriage referred to as “hanging yourself”, “death” and even “jail”, so women sometimes don’t understand why he hasn’t asked the question yet. So I say if he never asks you to marry him, it’s not that he doesn’t love you; he’s probably so afraid of losing his damn freedom.  On the other hand if a man you’ve been with for 5 years still hasn’t asked you or even brought it up YOU’RE PROBABLY NOT THAT BITCH!

Holla at me: Ladies, would you ever propose to a man?

There are just certain things you just can’t deal with when it comes to relationships. Maybe you don’t like a man who’s shorter than you, or you don’t want to date a woman that has a kid. When it comes to your relationship shopping list, you weed out the things that you dislike and if you can’t deal with it you send them packing. I don’t think I’m a picky person, but there are just some things when it comes to men in general that are strict deal breakers for me. Meaning if your ass is holding anyone of these don’t you DARE try to holla at me, because that shit would be cut short faster than you can say “V.I. I was wondering…”. NO!

11. Your FB Page Is A Memorial For All The Chicks You Done Smashed~ Have you ever met a guy that you liked and you couldn’t wait to get home to google him? You get on the computer and look him up on Facebook to find that he has over 5k friends and every last one of them has a vagina? His wall consists of chicks arguing and leaving suggestive comments on his wall. Then you go to his pictures and he has photos with a different chick in all 237 pictures. His motto in life is “Get bitches or die trying”. Yea…that dude there cannot come anywhere near me. Getting women seems like a conquest than anything else to him. He’s the type that would want to smash just to say “Yo Veronica??? Yea I smashed that chick”. More concerned with the notches on his belt than the Syphilis he’s spreading. Ol nasty STD infested ass.

10.  You Have Roommate aka Your Momma~ No grown ass man needs to be living with his momma in 2011. You parading up and down in a Lexus Jeep with your momma’s name on the title. You invite a chick over to the house and there is plastic on the furniture and a china cabinet in the dining room. You gotta tip toe up the stairs with your chick because you don’t wanna wake your momma…I mean your roommate up at 8:30pm.  Your too damn grown to be writing your name on the orange juice dude. Get up out the house and be a man. You can’t possibly think you can court me right? You see what they’re trying to do is find a new momma. You get with them and they move from their momma’s house to yours. Dude just looking for someone to treat him like his momma does. Naw sir…you need to try that with those other chicks cause this chick here ain’t about that life. If you can’t bring nothing, but a penis to the table you are of no value to me. Good Day Sir!

9. You have Your Own Basketball Team With a few Assistant Coaches~ I don’t have kids, and in a perfect world I would meet a man with no kids and we can build the dream together. So since we don’t live in a perfect world, at this age I think it’s damn near impossible finding a man without at least one child. I can handle one or even two, but when your ass has 5 and up that is where I gotta draw the line. Not only do you have all those kids you have more than one baby mother? So not only do I have to deal with all your kids disliking me for coming my happy ass in the picture I got your baby mommas hating me in the process? I’m sorry, but I can’t deal with all that drama. I don’t do drama and I damn sure don’t want none.  So if you know that you have too much going on in your life then skip over me. I rather spend the rest of my life alone with 18 cats and a parakeet than your 12 children and 8 baby mommas. I refuse to be a statistic.

8. Your Hair So Nappy Wilson Couldn’t Pick It~ I am very very big on hair. I don’t care if you’re man, woman or child your hair shouldn’t look like a hot mess. When I see a man there are 3 places that I browse first.

~His Hair~ If your hair is looking like you just ran away from the cotton fields 8 days ago and traveled along the Underground Railroad I can’t respect you. I like my men to look presentable. Y0ur hair says a lot about you. If you’re over 25 and rock plats I will have to say no to your advances. No grown man over the age of 25 should have braids. It’s like your saying to everyone “I work at burger hut, and I refuse to get a job with benefits because I’m afraid to grow up”. I mean look at Jim Jones. I cannot take that man seriously with that shit on his head. Plus, that dude refuses to braid it up. He braids his shit like once every 12 years. With the “money” he has he can’t get a chick to braid his hair?

~Your clothes~ Like I said I like my men neat and presentable. You have to look good in your clothes. If your pants is hanging off your ass and I can see the crotch of your boxers, you’re not for me. I really really hate seeing boys with this damn dumb ass trend. Oh don’t talk about the one’s that wear the skinny jeans and still wanna show their boxers. The waist is now down to the ankles and their walking all wide and shit trying to hold up the pants while they walk. Yuck!

~Shoes~ You need to be able to keep your shoe game clean. I don’t know sneakers and what’s hot or what, but if all you own are sneakers then we gotta get you out of that. Sneakers are cool, but looking like you going to play ball no matter where we go isn’t sexy to me. I need to know that my man can rock a tight pair of kicks and can still dress like we’re going to a dinner party. Please this is very important….I cannot do white hard bottoms. If you have white dress shoes you gonna have to send them thangs to the salvation army if you wanna holla at me. I hate white shoes. I don’t know why I do, but I just do. I can’t stand them and in my presence my blood crawls when I have to look at it.

So I guess this is one of the rules I can work around if a man decides to step his game up, but if he refuses then yea…noooooo.

7. I Just Say No To Drugs Cause McGruff the Crime Dog Said So~ I don’t do drugs. I have known too many addicts in my time to ever want to do drugs. I am high on life, so putting a controlled substance in my body to have a good time is out of the question. Yea I am a social drinker, but I can’t deal with someone that needs liquor or a narcotic to function in everyday society. If you have a substance abuse problem the only thing I can do for you is take you to rehab and a few meetings. An addict never stops being an addict because they don’t touch a crack pipe for a month. An addict struggles daily to curb their addictions. I don’t know if it’s selfish of me, but I can’t deal with struggling with someones addiction. Everyday I wake up I pray that you have a good day so you don’t have to take a drink or take the rent money and smoke it up? That’s just too much stress. And even if you not doing it, I’m gonna think you’re doing it, so why put us both through that mess?

6. No Car Having MoFo~ If you riding the bus, you betta go thata way. I don’t think I’m too good for the bus or anything, but if you’re 30 and over your ass need to have your own shit by now. I rode the bus in college and as a grown ass woman, I prefer the comfort of a car verses a smelly ass bus. Today I was asked out by this guy I had a few dates with about 4 years ago. Now 4 years ago his ass didn’t have a car. I let that shit slide because he was a nice guy and not everyone has the money for a car. The issue that I faced was, I had to pick his ass up or drop his ass off anytime we had a date. I mean the first time was ok, the second was passable, but come the hell on. Do you know this knee-grow is still without his own transportation. You mean to tell me in 4 f*cking years you couldn’t buy a hooptie or something? You expect me to pick you up? Get the f*ck outta here with that bullshit. I am sorry, but if you don’t have a car or continuous access to a car DO NOT HOLLA AT ME. SHIT WTF YOU THINK I’M RUNNING HERE? A SHUTTLE SERVICE?

5. Bitchy Men~ I can be a bitch sometimes, but I don’t need my man to act like one too. I mean there are a lot of men that have these bitchy attitudes like the world owes them a nut or something. Sweetheart keep that attitude outta my area cause I cannot tolerate it. I don’t wanna to be with a guy and all he does is complain all the time, then whine like a baby. I dated this guy one time and I swear this dude had a hidden vagina. This man whined about everything. *In a kid’s voice* “Why don’t you ever say you love me?” “Why do you look at me in disgust all the time”…blah blah blah. I swear I don’t know how I dealt with that dude as long as I did cause I wanted to just punch that dude in the throat and say “Say it witcha chest”.

*Snapping Fingers* Welcome to the Diary of A Mad Guest Blogger. This is a segment where we feature the bloggers that got thangs to say. I want you to give a special hand to John Doe.

Loyalty, that’s the word that comes right after the big four letter word “Love”. Some may say they both coincide with each other. One may not be capable to have one without the other, in a safe or healthy relationship.  People, have you ever wondered/questioned the loyalty of family, friends, & especially your significant other has for you?  Well, that’s a question everyone thinks or asks themselves and will like to know the answer to before that big day one may say “I DO”.

“For better or for worse”, from a Male’s perspective. Most guys probably wonder if I didn’t have the keys to the car I drive, the house at the right zip code, or a career that indicates success would chica still ride or die for me?  Or better yet, if all the asset’s were to disappear one day especially with this challenging economy, “Would the Ms. still be there”?  (Jay-Z couldn’t have said it better)  Now don’t get it twisted ladies; no one’s saying to go out there and get a n*gga to just pound the shit out of your stomach and not a provider, protector, & a passionate lover.  But, these days most parents (especially mothers) teach or emphasize to their daughters what to look for or how to identify a good man.  Most times, this conversation comes about before the career conversation or even before chica learns how to be a good companion to the right man.  Ladies lets keep it 100%,  its to often females go out there and are drawn/attracted to the guys that can provide a lifestyle they anticipate vs a dude with a good attitude that their compatible with and may perhaps fall in love with one day.  So ladies, can you be loyal just to diamond rings and shiny thangs vs happy living?

“For better or for worse”, from a females perspective. Most women probably wonder; would he change after I’ve helped him turned successful, after gaining 50 lbs from bearing his kids he wanted would he still find me attractive?  After a year of marriage he found out that I can’t give him the son (Jr.) he anticipated would he stay committed?  Better yet, if after all I’ve done to, for  & with him if he saw a female with more assets; would the Mr. still be there?  These days most guys would choose the female that gives them more publicity vs the one with good stability.  Now just keeping it 100%, after he’s attained the house in a good community, good car and a great career; he’s going to want a female to best represent him in the public eye. To also reflect  his 360 degree level of success/accomplishments.  Now, the new chic might not even have good qualities and posses all the bad habits but because she’s cute in the face, slim in the waist, and phat in the right places that’s all she’s gonna need for a good living.  So, fellas, would you choose perception over foundation?  Can you be loyal to a shopaholic, big booty woman with conceited ways vs intellect, personality, & substance?

There are some men that I wouldn’t allow to come anywhere near me. Not because I’m stuck up or anything, but you can just tell that certain folks are a few nuggets short of a ten piece. Now, even though I try to stay far away from the coo coo clock brothas, their asses still end up finding me. I must have the words “Love Me Some Crazy” etched on my forehead, and only the deranged ones can see it. There are some chicks that actually think a man putting a knife to her throat is the sexiest thing in the world. That makes me wonder; is crazy the new sexy?

Personally, if anyone acted crazy around me got the GTFOH treatment. When I say that I mean… if you call me your ass will be totally disrespected. As you can read I don’t hold back my thoughts or my language so you’ll develop small feelings. If we are in the same place you besta not say shit to me *yea I said besta*. I will look at you like you were Eminem with ass on your face. I just have no time for ignorant crazy people. That shit is not sexy or attractive. Why the hell would you want to be known as the crazy dude that stalks chicks?

I know a few people *I won’t call names* that think a man calling her every 10 min checking on her whereabouts is sexy as hell. Or the chicks that think that a man accusing her of cheating all the time is worried that another man will take her away from him. No, he is accusing you of cheating because his ass is so paranoid to thinking that every man that comes 5ft in front of you wants to be with you. Well most of the time that is true, but he thinks you want to be with these people. He has developed in his mind that you’re not to be trusted, and you find that cute? I do sometimes promote not listening to your friends, but people if your friends try to tell you something is wrong with the person you’re with, please take their advice to heart. Sometimes folks on the outside looking in can provide us with much needed insight that we just can’t see ourselves.

Some people say that a man/woman caring deeply about their partner is sweet. It’s sweet until they start going over board with it. A person shouldn’t have to question the sanity of the person their involved with. That’s like going to the club and meeting a guy. History has shown us that getting involved with someone you have met in the club is not only stupid, but well it’s just damn stupid. You can never have a sound relationship because if you continue to go to the club he will think you going there to meet someone just the way you met him. Anyway crazy is defiantly not the new sexy, and if you think it is YOUR ASS IS JUST AS CRAZY AS YOUR BOO.

Holla at me: Do you think crazy is the new sexy, or only crazy people think it is?

*Snapping Fingers* Welcome to the Diary of A Mad Guest Blogger. This is a segment where we feature the blogger that got thangs to say. Please give up for Mamachel.

The other day I watched a father tow his daughter on his bicycle to school and it brought back memories. As far back as I can remember I have always been taken care of by men. Pause! Before you run with that, It’s not what you think. I’m talking about fond memories of being the only girl with ten male cousins and having one of my uncles waking me up in the morning to get ready for school, ironing my uniform and making me tea. Wait let me explain, I grew up with my grandmother, grandfather, and two uncles, never mind that all my male cousins lived in my district or that my next door neighbour’s grandson adopted me as his sister.
I literally grew up surrounded by men and inevitably I grew up a tomboy. Let’s not get it twisted my grandmother was VERY involved in my life and was an old school Church of God Christian who had me in church EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.OF.THE.WEEK. She would twist my hair and make me wear pink dresses and pink stockings (torture for a tomboy).
And If you grew up with your granny you KNOW that survival depends on how well you do what she says. Despite her efforts, after church upon reaching home, I would tear off my pink frills, put on my shorts and run over to the football field to be with the boys.

I’ve been hanging with the boys ever since.

1] Family: I grew up around the real Kangol cap , clarks wearing, merino and newspaper in the back pocket type of men. I never felt unsafe around my uncles. It continues to surprise me how these men who are tough as nails simply and visibly melt with Chelly Thunda ( That’s me) comes around them. So huge shout outs to Uncle Junior who used to take me on the mini bus from Montego Bay to Kingston to visit my Dad. To my Uncle Freddie who always trying to teach me how to box, To Uncle Dax who always had Sunday dinner ready (what a man can cook).

As an extension…

2] DADDY | Un Papito| My Guide: ANYONE who really knows me knows that I’m a daddy’s girl. I love him unconditionally something I learned from him … Unconditional love. I remember him telling me “I might can’t give you what you want but I’ll always give you what you need”. Never one to spoil his girls (they’re 6 of us) I also remember when I started misbehaving he called me into his room and said “ Conform or run weh” <- I didn’t misbehave ever again. Lol. Looking back it had to be hard on him raising six girls. I mean through all those tantrums, this is mine not yours, jealousy ( oh we all wanna be #1), Strong personalities. Sheesh no wonder he has no hair. But he gave that up for our undying love.

3] My Listeners: I hear women say men don’t listen. I can’t say I believe this. I have male friends who listen to my problems , my issues, my fears and even my man problems no matter how repetitive. And they give damn good advice. Which leads me to…

4] My Candids: These are the ones that NEVER pretty it up for me. Yes, your belly looks a little big, yes you’ve gotten fat, No, you didn’t move too fast but chances are he’s not looking for a relationship. I want you to know I appreciate it. Not many men will stand up to me and say “ Hey, maybe that was a little harsh.” Or “Yeah you’re definitely wrong” <- i appreciate this more than you’ll ever know. Now don’t over do it lol

5] My Fellow Geeks: The ones who love all the weird music I love, who send me artwork out of the blue, the ones who know I’m a anime fan who refuses to read the manga and is now terribly behind, that I can genuinely lust over a new electronic device before I do a hot model, the ones who know I’m also a geek and still love me. Thank you.

6] My Comedians & Aristotles : To the men who can make me laugh and make me think. You have a special place in my heart. Although there will be days when it might not work, I still appreciate you.

They are so many more special and appreciated men in my life and I am blessed.

Faith & Love,

Mamachell

Check out Mamachell’s blog www.mamachel.wordpress.com

I write about oral sex all the time, and I make jokes and what not, but this is a serious post. *Straight face* Oral sex is a serious matter. It actually can make or break a relationship. It’s sad to say but if you refuse to suck some dick and the occasional ball then your ass is gonna get a rude awakening. Men do not tolerate a chick that can’t deliver oral stimulation. I’m not saying he’s gonna stop f*cking with you. Just know that if you’re not doing it, another chick is probably pleasing your man.

Like I said before, a man isn’t gonna stop plugging you but he is gonna have another chick on the side. Men feel like if their not getting fully catered to, then they have the right to go out and get what they want. While this might break your self-esteem, just know you brought it on yourself. Ladies, you don’t have to give head to please him though. It should be something you do for you. For instance sucking dick gives me power. Now you know I don’t suck on just anybody, but when I do I make it seem like this is the last piece of dick suck I will ever have in my life. That is when you get to show your real talent. Sure you can ride the hell out of him, but if you can’t use your other body parts your only good for one thing.

Giving head should be like a momentous experience for you. Spread his legs, so you can position yourself right in front of his dick. You can start off by licking the head, and then lick all the way down to the shaft to his balls placing each one in my mouth. Then after giving them both equal attention take that thing to the head. Some women can’t deep throat, but honey you gotta learn. Even if you gag it’s ok, that makes a better effect. While you have the whole thing in your mouth, take your tongue and lick the base at the same time. You can also massage it with your lips. *Which set of lips is your choice* Just make sure you make it wet and juicy, because let’s face it wetness enhances it. Depending on the guy and the way his manhood feels you can go about this for a long period of time.If you’re uncomfortable performing oral sex, I totally understand. It’s not everyone cup on tea, but just know that the line “I’m not that kind of girl” is gonna have him staying at home.

Men love to have it all, and if the woman decides that certain physical activity isn’t her thing, and then he is gonna seek it elsewhere. Men have this way about them when it comes to sex. They gotta have it their way. Whatever you do should be for your enjoyment. Don’t suck a man if you know deep down you don’t like it, just be prepared for another chick to do the job.

Relationships are hard as hell to maintain. Yea everything might seem peachy keen in the beginning, but some shit always happens to push you back into reality. Men and women just do different things, that might make so much sense at the time but when the shit hits the fan they regret it ever happened. When a woman is in a relationship with a man and he cheats, most of the time the secret is told to the girlfriend by the other woman. The main thing is that the girlfriend finds out the truth about the man she’s with, but sometimes the approach by the other chick is what makes shit worse.

“There is no fury like a woman scorned”…those words ring so true when it comes to a lot of women out here. About 1 1/2 years ago I was in a relationship with this guy. As usual everything was good and my ass didn’t have reason to believe he was cheating on me. So one day I am kicking it online and I get this message from an unfamiliar name. I was gonna mark the shit as spam until I read the subject titled ”Woman to Woman”. I ain’t gonna lie I was intrigued to find out what the hell it could be. I opened the message and I started reading about how this chick was having or had a relationship with my man. She described certain things someone really close to him would know. I was reading that shit and I started turning RED as hell. I’m dark so turning that damn hot was amazing to see. This bitch gave dates, mentioned what was going on with his life even mentioned a text message he sent to me one day. She even told me that she knew about me all along, and when she continuously asked him to end it with me he constantly told her no. This chick spilled everything. At the end of the message she said “I MESSAGED YOU THIS MORNING NOT TO COMPETE WITH YOU, BUT BECAUSE OF MY OBLIGATION AS A WOMAN”. *Nicki Minaj confused blow-up doll look”.

Your obligation as a woman? In her message she told me that her ass knew about me the whole time and asked him to end it with me and he said no. Now that she realized that he wasn’t going anywhere she decided to tell me? Then this hoe had the audacity to say “We can bring him down for hurting us”.  I don’t make friends with other bitches…so for her to ask me that just proves she was trying to get in with me. Don’t get it twisted in the least. I wasn’t dismissing what he did. That shit destroyed whatever we had. Back to her ass….one thing I know is a bitch scorned. Trying to come at me stating the whole sistas got to stick to together shit, when it actuality she knew about me and thought she could knock my ass out the picture. Then when she realized she couldn’t she decides to let the cat out the bag and then maybe I would dump his ass. Women do so much slick shit and when they realize shit isn’t going their way one of the first things they do is go after the other woman or become a crazy stalker bitch. Either way I appreciate her telling me what was going on, but pretending to care about my feelings was so played. It was all done to devastate me and get back at him for dumping her.

So the long and short of this story is, if you are the other woman and you wanna spill the beans and possibly ruin a relationship be real about your shit. Don’t pretend that you’re looking out for your “sista girl” when you hating that bitch cause you don’t understand why it’s her and not you. Ladies, if you find out that the person you’re with has cheated it’s your call to make. If you wanna work it out then work it out, if you wanna end it kick his ass to the curb. Whatever you decide is a decision you have to live with, but don’t let this other chick into the fold where she thinks she’s got the upper hand in your relationship. Don’t tell them chicks shit about your relationship and what you’ve decided to do with it. Don’t talk to her on the phone, exchange emails back and forth or even agree to meet. Get what information you have to get from the initial message and throw that shit on him, homebody will fill in the rest.

So we started off “Black Love” week with “How to love a black man” , now we will teach the fellas a thing or two about us. Unlike men, women can be very complicated creatures. The majority of the time we think we need everything, but in actuality we . There are a lot of chicks out there that think everything should automatically be handed to them. A woman knows her self worth regardless of her relationship status, but can appreciate the love and affection given by the opposite sex. The man that has to pleasure of having a real woman in his life must be aware of how to treat her.

Black women are characterized as the most difficult to deal with. Ok, there may be some truth to this, but this is because we don’t take no shit. We know what we want, and if you can’t be real with us…it’s time to go. Some men get it twisted and think that just because he is MAN a woman should be beneath him. We’ve learned to do for ourselves that we don’t need anyone…we simply want them. Men don’t choose a woman, she chooses him. For the real men out there, if you’re in a relationship with a black woman and you want to know how to really love and satisfy here then here goes.

1. Keep It 1000~ Yea I said 1000. People say the truth hurts. Yea that is true, but a lie hurts even more. A woman only wants a man to tell her the truth no matter how disappointing it may be. She wants to know that you have her best interest at heart, and even though she might be discouraged the point is you told her. A woman can handle the truth…she cannot forgive a lie.

2. Respect Her Fresh ~ Respect goes a long way with a woman. No woman wants to feel like her time and her efforts mean nothing. Show her that you respect her opinions and input. Also, you can’t demand respect if you can’t give it. One thing I can’t stand is a man that tries to play the playa role. Women calling the house and shit…how can you allow that and respect your relationship?

3. Listen to her needs~ Men don’t listen…or they do listen they just don’t wanna hear it. How ever it works all a woman needs a man to do is listen to what she has to say. A lot of couples lack that basic communication skill. They don’t listen so nothing gets heard. A man needs to take the time and find out what his woman needs in order to make her happy. A happy woman makes for a happy home.

4. Bring Home the Bacon, and She’ll Cook It~ Every woman ultimately wants a provider. Although women flaunt the theory “I’m independent, I got my own”. A woman wants to know her man can provide for the family. Fellas listen here….truth be told. A woman has no problem being subservient to her husband. As long as he’s taking care of business the way he should be, she would make sure everything else is handled.

5. Head to Head Combat~ A woman wants a man that can battle with her. I’m not talking about they start fighting all over the house. I mean a woman can’t stand a “Yes Man”. A yes man is someone that has no backbone and can never stand up for what he wants. He says yes to everything and rarely gives his input or insight about anything. For instance, I like a man that isn’t afraid to tell me no. Not rag me up or anything. Just a man that can put his foot down.

6. She IS a woman after all~ There are times men forget that women are still women. Once the years go by and the babies are born, men stop treating their women as women. Although, time has passed and you’re lives are filled with fruity pebbles rather than f*cking in the living room at 12pm she’s still the woman you’re with. Take her out and compliment her show her affection. A woman needs to know she’s still loved and appreciated after everything you’ve been through.

7. Allow her to Dream with you~ A woman wants to share in your vision. She doesn’t want to be left out of your future. If you have personal goals, share them with each other. Allow her inside of your head and vice versa. A woman wants to see her man succeed, she just wants to take that ride together.

8. Her Friends Are Not Your Enemies~ Men think that the single girlfriend will lead his woman astray. Fellas, women do have minds of their owns. The majority of the time a woman knows that her best girlfriend wishes she had the relationship you have. Point blank…women will always be jealous of others. A real woman knows what she has and just because she’s chilling with KeKe doesn’t mean she wants to do the things KeKe is doing. This isn’t high school…this is real-life.

9. Prove You’re Different~ Women in general are emotional. They may have been hurt a time or two. Show that woman you’re different than the rest. Women go into new situations with a guarded heart. They may be afraid to trust because of how they might have been treated in past relationships. If you’re not that guy…prove that to her. Allow her to see who you really are.

10. Don’t try to hard~ Although women like a man to show her he’s different than the rest, you don’t have to try to hard to do it. Sometimes effortless chemistry makes two people gravitate more towards each other. A real woman can see through the bullshit, so don’t try to show it to her.

Although, all these rules apply to every woman black women seem to be the minority when it comes to relationships. According to CNN 70% of black women are single, and 40% will not be married. This means a black woman has a higher chance of being alone for the rest of her life. The only thing we need is someone who is down for us and has our best interests at heart. Fellas, I hope you’ve learned something today…if not you’re not ready to take on a real black woman.

Not all brothas are marriage material. There are some you literally have to punch in the ball sack to get them to take you out the house. They fear the words “us” and “together”. If you even attempt to say “When I get married”…their asses are so quick to let you know it ain’t that kind of party. These are the “Only for a time” men. You can kick it with them.. you know have your fun, but when you decide you want something more you look the other way. Then you have the brothas that don’t shy away from commitment. They’ve done  all they wanted to do and more and finally realized that finding that woman that makes them feel confident in love is better than any feeling in the world. They have no problem making that step with the right person. They know when it’s time ladies, sometimes they want to make sure that you’re ready.

I’ve heard a lot of men laugh at the thought of marriage. Maybe because he thinks if he takes that leap he will be missing out on the millions of women that won’t even look his way in real-life. Some men think that every woman with a nipple wants to sleep with them and the second they say “I do”, these horny women will all decide to f*ck all his single friends leaving him out in the cold. Then you have the others that just fear of responsibility. Taking care of a family, finances and futures just can scare the hell out of them. You also have the men that fear they would end up marrying the wrong woman. Although this is a valid thought, most men don’t want to realize this later and think of all the time they wasted when they could have just stayed single. These men allow their fears to define their futures. Marriage can be a scary thing, but if you know in your heart that you’ve found the right one that should be the calming factor.

Now you have the men that have been there and done that and finally realized that they wanna be loved just like everyone else. Yea they played the field in their day, but finding a good woman…the right woman has become more of a mission than a sabotage. He knows the value of a good woman and wants nothing more than to nurture and grow within their relationship. This man doesn’t just pick a chick and get down on one knee. He takes note and studies *just like women* what his partner’s strengths and weaknesses are. If your weaknesses outweigh your strengths that ring ain’t coming your way…at least not right now. The second he knows that you’re the one you will know.

Many times when women say *Yes to the ring*don’t lie you’re really accepting his ring more than him half the time, you forget what the focus of the marriage is at.  A lot of women get so focused on the actual wedding day than the marriage. When a man decides to spend his life with you and only you he means that shit. Focusing on the dress, cake and making sure you’re the envy of all your friends ain’t worth it. Then you get into the marriage and can’t even keep shit together. There are serious men out there also looking for that “forever” kind of love. It really boils my potatoes when a man decides that this is what he wants and the woman ain’t bout shit. I’ve seen it too many times. She puts on this facade of the person she thinks he wants her to be. She pretends until she has him right where she wants him and the minute the ring comes on the finger she changes into the big bitch up the street. Playing with someones emotions and heart makes you look like that bitch you are. They say “love is a game for fools”, I think too many treat love like a game and they turn out looking like the fool.

“It’s easy for a player to play, it’s much easier for a real man to stop…” (c) V.I.

Holla at me: What is your theory on why some men are afraid of marriage?