No one, absolutely no one wants to be that rebound person. The term rebound is typically referred to one person was rejected by another, so they use the next person to bounce back. This is usually the first available person that comes their way. That person is just someone they “use” to get over their last relationship. I know “use” is a harsh word, but hey that’s what it is. A man/woman never thinks their the rebound, because they think their the best thing to come along in your life. In your mind you already know that nothing serious can come from this relationship, and that person is just there so you can fill that void you’re use to.
I have been involved in a rebound situation, and I wish I was never put in that position. I just came out of a 2 year relationship, and a long time friend started coming on to me….hard. Back in the day we both liked each other, but because of certain situations we remained friends. I tired to let him know in a round about way, that I didn’t want him to be that rebound guy but he wasn’t listening. I knew his intentions and his feelings, but I knew if I started anything with him I would hurt him. The rebound guy never realizes they are the rebound until they get their feelings hurt. To make a long story short, I hurt him and I wish I didn’t but I just wasn’t feeling the same as he did.
I knew I wasn’t ready for another relationship, but I needed someone to take my mind off of my past shit. He did that for a short and I mean very short period in time, but I had to end it. Our friendship suffered as a result of that, and I actually think I ruined him. Well um I think I am giving myself way too much credit, but I noticed that he approaches romantic situations differently now. As the years past I always thought I missed out on a good dude. The man treated me wonderfully, but I wasn’t in the right state to appreciate him, so I had to let him go.
You always seem to find the right thing at the wrong time. Many times we try to rationalize what we are doing and believe we are doing the right thing. You wanna get over someone…get under another. The problem is, it’s just not that simple. What you see as just casual, they see as something else. Getting involved with someone else knowing that you can’t be there the way they want you to be is only hurting them and making you look like the villain in the long run. Before you consider going there with someone make sure you’re not only being true to them but true to yourself.
Holla at me: Have you ever been in a rebound situation?
princess
Comment made on May 14, 2009 @ 9:18 am
I have and its not fun at all!
VegasSeven
Comment made on May 14, 2009 @ 11:09 am
I have been on both sides. Not fun!!! Dam, your blog hits close to home and has put me in a bad mood this morning!!!! Why did you have to write about this subject!!!
Growth and always improving one's communicating skills are important. It was has helped me move on and made the future relationships sweeter. The rebound person and being hurt/hurting people is unfortunately one of the painful lessons we as humans have to go through in life in order to finally achieve those great relationships.
VI Chick
Comment made on May 14, 2009 @ 12:48 pm
Vegas,
My bad…lol. You're talking the truth though.
Missy
Comment made on May 15, 2009 @ 8:06 am
Like you said, no one wants to be that rebound person and it hurts when you know that possibly you may be doing that or someone is doing it to you. It helps to get over the pain but the pain is still there. This is a touchy subject and to be real honest at the end of the day you feel worse off, especially if friendships are gone.
Keli
Comment made on July 20, 2010 @ 2:10 am
So true… no one ever wants to be the rebound guy or girl… and unless you truly know the person and his/her situation… you have no idea you’re the rebound… and that suqs!