Transitioning from one relationship to another can be very difficult for some. No matter when the last relationship ended, there are always feelings left that you might not shake instantly. Nonetheless, your trying to move on and for the most part it seems to be working. You finally meet someone that has the same interest, goals, and it doesn’t hurt that they’re fine as hell. So why is it that sometimes you can’t seem to reveal to your ex that you’re seeing someone new?
For men and women, I think the reasoning behind not telling the ex about the next is different. Men actually hold on to the ex sometimes because it’s familiar booty. It’s not really emotionally driven, it’s more sexual. They like to know that they have access to the pussy whenever needed, so they keep the old chick in the dark about what they’re doing. They like options when it comes to sex. Women, this is why a chick calls your phone, because he is still dealing with her and he is pursuing you. The you’re both confused, because he wasn’t upfront about what was going on with you, and he is still sleeping with her and telling her what she wants to hear.
Like men, women like options but in a different sense. Most women are looking for “The One”, the man that sweeps them off their feet. When a woman meets a new man she has high hopes. Until her ex comes sniffing around, then she starts to doubt or re-evaluate her current situation. She might say that if he knew it might hurt his feelings, but in actuality she isn’t saying anything because her feelings for her ex are still there. She is holding out some shred of hope that he will come around and they will reunite. If her current relationship doesn’t work out, her ex is still there. This isn’t fair to your new guy or the ex boyfriend, because once you get deceive, the shit only becomes a bigger issue.
Holla at me: Have you ever been in this situation?
Anonymous
Comment made on April 27, 2009 @ 8:57 am
Yes, I am a woman and I have always had "smooth transitions" in between my relationships. This is where I keep an Ex while Im messing wit the next until I feel "secure" in my New relationship. I like to ALWAYS have options…sexual, emotional, etc so I dont fully commit until I think its going somewhere. I have yet to be caught
lol Women are way more crafted at these type of things lol (thats Why Im posting anonymous)
SincSerious
Comment made on April 27, 2009 @ 4:11 pm
My most recent "ex" is jealous to say the least…so if I told him about a new "boo" he would prob snap on me and ASSUME that I was talking to o boy while we were together..he would prob act shitty towards the new boo if he saw him out in public..and he would prob stop speaking to me..So to save all the melo-drama I try to keep the "jealous" ex on a need to know basis…
Now as for the..DMD Ex (check your DM for that definition)I keep the new boo a secret so I can come back to that in emergency situations! HA!
Other than that I've gone through smooth transitions where we both realized we weren't good together..remained friends and actually talk pretty candidly abt our current relationships..so I think it depends on what u are walking away from.
-Sincerely Serious
VI Chick
Comment made on April 27, 2009 @ 4:17 pm
Anon,
I understand where you're coming from. I have kept the ex on the reserve list while still having my new boo in the cut. I think it makes things easier.
VI Chick
Comment made on April 27, 2009 @ 4:21 pm
SinSerious,
My ex thought I was talking to my new boo while I was with him. Well I was, but we both knew the relationship sucked so I decided to get the other ball rolling.
I do have one particular ex that we're very open about our relationships with other people. He is actually the only guy I feel comfortable getting a man's point of view from.
Missy
Comment made on April 28, 2009 @ 1:03 pm
That is a good question…I have done it before…there is one of my exes that I woud never tell him bout my next. I guess I have hope of him coming back and he don't want no one getting the good good, even though we haven't boogie down in a while. I just can't deal with my ex in my ear if it doesn't work out with the next. Not that I don't think it may work but that is one ex that I don't know why I can't tell him, that is a good question, you got me here thinking. Hmmmmm! For me it is emotional, I can't speak for him!
sunshyne84
Comment made on July 6, 2010 @ 11:11 am
I don’t know why I need to tell an ex anything to begin with. I don’t see how yall do it. When its over its pretty much a done deal with me. Maybe later on we can be friends, but I’m not gonna keep sexing you so you feel you have the right to know all my whereabouts and what not.